


Lipodystrophy.

by Xbertyx



Series: Ptsd awareness and past trauma related works. [6]
Category: Kuroshitsuji | Black Butler
Genre: Alternate Universe - High School, Alternate Universe - Human, Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Anal Sex, Blow Jobs, Bullying, F/M, Knife Crime, Love, M/M, Past Abuse, Regretful words, Threesome - M/M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-01-11
Updated: 2016-04-13
Packaged: 2018-05-13 06:46:41
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Underage
Chapters: 35
Words: 36,940
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5698918
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Xbertyx/pseuds/Xbertyx
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Alan - the bullied. Eric - the bully. </p><p>The way in which gcse coursework is marked has been changed this year. Coursework now has to be submitted in groups of two, as instructed under the new 'team work act' of the exam board, governed by parliament.  </p><p>Whoever gets paired with Eric for the next two years is going to have a bumpy ride. Good luck to them.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Shank.

**Author's Note:**

> Eric's Scottish lingo:  
> dinnae - do not.  
> Ah - I.  
> Yer - you/ your.  
> Oatside - outside.  
> Ma - me/ my. 
> 
> \----  
> Shank in slang means to stab someone. At least around the UK anyway.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Yer wee shite - you little shit.

 A text book skidded to a halt on the floor of a high school in London, its owner having been slammed against a wall. His head was knocked to the side, a sharp punch hitting his cheek.

 The victim of such violence was Alan Humphries, a sixteen year old brunette in his last but one year of high school. He'd been kept back a year, as he'd missed three months of school due to ill health. It was the first day of the new school term.

 In front or him stood Eric Slingby, who was in the same year as him. Eric had moved from Edinburgh, Scotland two years ago and had been making Alan's life hell ever since. And he wasn't the only one; the two teenagers were surrounded by a gang of Eric's friends, each of them either jeering at Alan or egging Eric on.

 As another punch hit him, in the stomach this time, Alan thought of how unfair this situation was. The beast in front of him was already a good six foot in height and built like a house, muscly arms easy to spot even under his shirt. Alan, on the other hand, was five foot six and had barely any meat on him. He was outweighed and outnumbered. Completely helpless.

 "Eh, gimme' ye' lunch money, wee bastard." Eric smirked at him.

 Turning his face back to face his tormentor, Alan's voice shook. "I ... I don't have any. Somebody ... already took it." That statement was true.

 Eric pinned him against the wall by his shoulders, kneeing him roughly in the groin. "Dinnae lie tae ma, cunt. Yer jus' a wee shite."

 "Shank him, Slingby!" One of Eric's friends rawred.

 "Aye, ah would but yer forgot tha' knife." Alan's breath hitched. Eric heard it and smirked at him. "Someone a wee bit scared? Tha' is a darn shame. Cash, now."

 "I'm telling you, I don't have any!"

 A scowl replaced the smirk. "Eh ... ah've 'ad enough of yer shite!" He let go of Alan and turned to his friends. "Finish 'im oaf. Ah'm going oatside for a fag."

 Another bully smiled, cracking his knuckles. "My pleasure."

\-----

 At the end of the day, Eric left school with two of his friends. "I cannae believe this shite."

 Thomas groaned. "Making us team up for our science coursework for the next two years, you mean?"

 "Aye. Pile of shite."

 "They must want us to play nice. Learn about 'team work'. Cuntish government fucking us over."

 "Aye, an' Maths an' English. Wankers. Doin' ma 'ed in already."

 "Hope we don't get teamed with some loser."

 "Aye, ah dinnae wanna' be paired wi' tha' twat."

 "Which?"

 "Humphries."

 "Oooh. That would be kind of funny though."

 "Shut it." Eric smacked him around the back of the head."This is a righ' pain in tha' arse."

 "Yeah ... he's gunna' end up dead."

 Eric decided to ignore his statement. He had to hurry and pick his younger brothers up from school. His mother wouldn't be home until the evening, being a hard working single mother of five children.


	2. Yer gootta be shitein' ma!!!!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Eric's Scottish lingo:  
> dinnae - do not.  
> Ah - I.  
> Yer - you/ your.  
> Oatside - outside.  
> Ma - me/ my.  
> Dinnae ken - don't know.   
> Naw - not. 
> 
> No, I'm not making spelling errors on Eric's speech. I'm using it to show his Scottish accent.

 On returning home from collecting his four brothers from their primary school, Eric sat down on the sofa, flicking on the TV.

 "Eric!" His brother Brody came racing up to him.

 "Aye? Wha' is it?"

 "Ah'm hungry!" Being just three years old when the family had moved to London, Brody's accent wasn't very strong.

 Eric sighed. "Eh, well goo an' grab some food then."

 "Tha' fridge is empty again." This is how it had been since arriving in London. The family lived in a small council house and the mother worked hard but sometimes, her earnings just weren't enough to put food on the table.

 "Eh, well wait fir mum tae com' home."

 Brody pulled a face. "But my tummy hurts. We dinnae eat breakfast."

 "Oh." Eric never ate breakfast, skipping it so that his siblings had more to eat instead. "Alrighty then." He rummaged around in his pocket, pulling out a few pound coins that he'd managed to steal from another boy at school. Still, it wasn't enough to feed all four of his brothers. His palm clenched around the metal circles. "Humphries, yer wee shite!"

 "Eric, stoop swearin'! Mum is gunnae kill yer!"

 "Eh, dinnae worry aboot tha'. Ah can ge' somethin' but yer gunnae aft'r share wi' yer bros."

 "But ah still get food, right?"

 "Aye, yer do."

 "Yay! Big brother, yer tha' best!"

 Eric smiled. Yes, things were hard right now, but it was a much improved situation in comparison to the family's life in Edinburgh, especially for Eric and his mother. Back in Scotland, the two were given no mercy from Eric's father's beatings, amongst other things. At least here, no one in the family feared for their lives. Still, such scars could never truly heal.

\-----

 Eric's mother had returned home from work around 7pm, having worked a twelve hour shift. Being on minimum wage for all of her hard work was a tough pill to swallow.

 The blonde teen was now at Ronald's house, a friend he'd made outside of school, though they were both in the same year at St. Helens C of E secondary school. Upstairs in his bedroom, Ronald asked "so, who are y' paired wi' for tha' next two years?"

 "In school?" Eric replied.

 "Yeah."

 "Dinnae ken yet."

 Ronald chuckled, remember how he hadn't had a clue what Eric was saying half of the time when they'd first met. "Ah, when y' find out?"

 "Tomorrow. Darn exam board. Thi' is gunnae be shite."

 "Ah, I bet you'll ge' paired wi' Humphries."

 "Yer all kee' sayin' tha'."

 "He's not so bad. Kinda' a sweet kid."

 "Eh? Yer spooken tae 'im then?"

 "Yeah, a couple of times. Y' shouldn't be so mean ta' him."

 "Aye, I shood. It's kill or be killed in this worl'. Naw gunnae le' folks walk all oaver me anymore."

 "Stop letting wha' happened wi' y' dad affect y' so much. He's not around anymore. Y' ain't gotta' act all tough." Eric stayed silent and Ronald sighed. "Y' really shouldn't hang out wi' those guys."

 "Naw a soul will hur' ma this way."

 "Until they find out tha' y' gay and then what? Y' know wha' a dick Andy is 'bout gay people."

 "Well ... he's naw gunnae find oat. Le' ma jus' ge' throw high school, wou'd yer?"

 "Fine, but is beatin' up nerds really doin' y' any good?"

 "'nough! I'm naw ta'king 'boot this anymore. Ah 'ave tae look efter maself."

 "Eric?"

 "Christ sake! Wha'?!"

 "Y' don't really wanna' hurt people, do y'?"

 "No, 'course naw."

 "Then stop."

 "It's naw tha' simple."

 "Fine. Y' heads 'bout as thick as tha' rest of y'." Eric turned away from him. His father had always called him stupid also, amongst much worse taunts. Ronald sensed that he'd said something wrong. "Eh ... anyway," He whipped a condom out of his pocket, "let's see how hard y' really are."

 "Aye! Grand idea!"

 "Let me top for once!"

 "No! Yer naw toopin' ma! Yer can ge' on toop but yer naw stickin' yer dick an'where near ma' arse hole."

 "Eh ... fine. Was jus' a thought."

 "An' a bad un at tha'!"

\-----

 Ronald got off of Eric, who was still fully clothed, pants and underwear pulled down to his mid thighs. Eric's body was quite badly scarred from all of the abuse he had suffered and he did his best to hide such marks, not wanting anyone to see them and ask questions. "Man, how many rounds 'ave we gone? It's gettin' late." Ronald stated.

 "Dinnae ken. Ah'll be headin' oaf then. Gunnae goo tae Grell's."

 "Ah, someone is proper busy."

 "Aye. Thank yer fir tha' introduction. 'Preciate it."

 "No probs. It's fun gettin' a taste of someone older, eh?"

 "Aye, tha' it is."

 Ronald chucked. "Jus' don't leave here wi' y' ass showin'."

 "Aye, ah'll be sure naw tae."

\----

 The following day, two of Eric's friends were talking amongst themselves. "So, there's a transfer student."

 "Ah. Girl or boy?"

 "No clue, couldn't tell. Heard that they're German though."

 Andy laughed, trying out his best German accent. Ignorant, stupid racism at its finest.

 Meanwhile, the new student was in the canteen for dinner. Sascha spotted a boy sitting alone in the corner and dashed over to him. "Oh, hello. You look lonely, can I help with that?"

 Alan looked up at him. "Umm ... sure. I'm ... not lonely though ... but ... umm ... if you want company, I'm here."

 "Aww." Sascha giggled. "You are a cutie."

 "T ... thanks."

 Sascha took a seat next to Alan, back facing away from the large hall. "I'm Sacha, and you?"

 "Oh ... Alan."

 "What ... happened to your eye? It looks so bruised."

 "Bullies."

 "Oh ... so cruel. Are there a lot of bullies here?"

 "Yeah." Alan heard two distinct voices from behind them. "You're about ... to me two of them."

 Before Sascha could reply, a hand grasped at his shoulder, Tony digging his nails in from his new position at Sascha's side. "So ... what the fuck are ya'? Boy or girl? Bit of both?" Andy just sniggered.

 Without warning, a fist was brought to Tony's crotch. Sascha smiled sweetly. "Do tell me, which are you now?" One bully was too shocked to say anything, the other crumpling to the ground. Sascha: one. Bullies: zero. Zilch. Nada.

\----

 Alan had found that Sascha was in his science class, which was to begin shortly. "Umm ... at the risk of ... losing my balls, are you a boy or a girl?"

 "Oh no, sweety. I wouldn't do that. We are friends now, no?"

 "Umm ... we are." Alan smiled.

 "Can you really not tell?"

 "Tell ... what?"

 "That I was born a girl."

 "Oh. I ... wasn't sure."

 "But ... can you call me a he? I like it better that way."

 "Sure. Then ... are you transgender?"

 "You can say that, yes. I do like not labeling myself though."

 "Oh ... okay. My mistake."

 "Nooo! It's fine. At least now, you know."

 "I do. Thanks ... for being my friend."

 "And thank you, too."

\-----

 The science lesson began, Mr Corby clearing his thought. "So, as you all know, today is the day that you will find out your partner for the next two years." Every student could see a smirk wash over his lips. "Let's do this before we take the register. I am quite looking forward to it. As you may or may not know, all Science, Math and English teachers had a meeting to discuss who would be paired with who. Whoever you are paired with in this lesson, you will also be paired with for the other two, providing that you are in the same class for those other lessons." His smirk only grew as he pointed to the blonde at the back of the room. "Eric Slingby. Your partner is ...," He savoured the moment, "Alan Humphries."

 Eric shot to his feet, palms slamming down on his desk. "Yer gootta' be shitein' ma!"


	3. Brave wee lad.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Eric's Scottish lingo:  
> dinnae - do not.  
> Yer - you/ your.  
> Oatside - outside.  
> Ma - me/ my.  
> Dinnae ken - don't know.  
> Naw - not.dinnae - do not.  
> Ah - I.
> 
> German. Ja, ich bin - yeah, I am. 
> 
> Whitechapel is a part of London, close to the tower of London. 
> 
> Thoughts in italics.

 The other pairings were given and register was taken, before Mr Corby smirked again. "As the teaching plan states, each member of the new pairing will spend this lesson getting to know each other."

 "But this is a science lesson?" One student piped up.

 "It is but as you know, the way in which the three main lessons are taught has been changed. Now, would you all swap seats so that you are facing the person you are paired with."

 Most of the students grumbled and stood up, a friend of Eric's shouting "good luck, Slingby!"

 "Oi, shut yer trap!" The blonde replied, making no move to stand up.

 Mr Corby had his eyes on him. "Eric Slingby, please sit next to Alan."

 "No way in hell!"

 "Now, unless you want to be stuck in an hour's detention."

 Eric grunted. He couldn't afford that. His siblings needed picking up from school later. "Ugh ... 'ave it yer way." He got to his feet, grabbing a chair and sitting down opposite Alan.

 Across the room, Sascha had just sat down across from a tall, thin, dark haired teenage boy. "Hello." He said.

 Sascha stared at him. "Oh ... you are German too?"

 "Ja, ich bin." He held out his hand."Rudgar."

 A light blush rose on Sascha's cheeks. _He ... thinks of me as a guy? Yay!_ He shook Rudgar's hand. "Ich bin Sascha."

 Mr Corby spoke again. "Introductions are out of the way, I hope. I'm about to hand out a sheet with various questions on it. Ask your partner for the answers and then write them down. Sheets are to be submitted at the end of the lesson."

 "Eww. You just want to perv on our private lives!" One girl shrieked.

 "I'm not going to read the answers. I just need to check that there is actually something written down."

 The papers were handed out and Eric eyed it. His eyes fixed on a hand written question at the bottom. First kiss? "Wha' tha' fuck!? Ah think Corby is screwing wi' ma." Alan just looked at him. "Ah'm naw gunnae dae this shite. Jus' write do'n any random shite."

 "There's ... no point in that."

 "Eh? Wha' yer on aboot, Humphries?"

 "We're going to have to ... get along as best we can. Our grade depends on it."

 "Oi, dinnae tal' back tae ma!"

 "You wouldn't ... be in the highest classes ... if you didn't work hard. You ... care about your grades too."

 "Shut yer trap!" His pen was thrown at Alan.

 Alan sighed. "F ... first question. Where are you from?"

 "Cannie yer tell from ma accent? Ah'm Scottish."

 "I know that." A ruler hit him in the head. "Where in Scotland ... exactly?"

 Eric grunted. He knew that Alan was right. He did want to do well in school so that he could get a good job and support his younger brothers. Yet, he knew his friends were probably watching him. But then if he did kick off, there was the risk of detention. Therefore, he settled for throwing another pen at Alan but answered "Edinburgh."

 Alan's next words shocked the both of them. "What? Wow! I've always wanted to go there! It ... looks so pretty on TV! Is it nice?! Is it?"

 "Umm ... aye." Eric looked away. "Wha' aboot yer?"

 "Where am I from?"

 "Aye, obviously."

 "Oh, here."

 "Whitechapel?" _Wait ... why am I even asking?_

 "Yep."

 "K." Eric wrote his answer down. "Ma turn. Any siblin's?"

 "No. I'm an only child." _He's ... actually not that much of a ass - to speak to, anyway._ "You?"

 "Aye, four wee bro's."

 Eventually, they reached the bottom of the page. "Ugh ... naw this un."

 "The kissing question?"

 "Oh ... yer goat it too?"

 "Yeah. I wonder if ... anyone else did."

 "Probs naw. Corby bein' a puff. So, hu was yer first kiss?"

 Alan blushed slightly. "I've ... never kissed anyone."

 "Seriously?"

 "Y ... yeah. What ... about you?"

 "Ah ... dinnae remember." _I ... don't want to think about it._

\------

***At Eric's house***

 "Eric!" The blonde's brother, Neil, cried. He'd just fallen over, scraping his knee on the carpet.

 Eric scooped him up and carried him over to the sofa quickly, plonking the five year old on his lap. "Hey ... dinnae cry. Yer gootta be strong, lad."

 "H ... hurts!"

 "Aye, ah be' it does. Yer need tae be brave. Thought yer wa' a big boy now?"

 "But ... yer ... cried too."

 "Eh?"

 "When ... daddy used tae hurt yer."

 Eric's eyes went wide. _He remembers ... that?_

\-----

 Sascha had gone over to Alan's after school. Alan's parents weren't at home, as his mother worked evening shifts and his father was fighting a war in a far away country.

 "So ... that Eric boy, is he nice?" Sascha asked.

 "He's the guy who ... bullies me the most." Alan replied.

 "Oh, that must be very rough for you."

 "Yeah. He ... seemed different when I spoke to him though."

 "Hmm, how so?"

 "Not ... umm ... so mean. I ... thought he'd punch me or something but ... he just threw a few pens at me."

 "That's still really mean."

 "It's ... nothing compared to ... his punches."

 "He gave you the black eye?"

 "It's was either him or ... Andy. I can't remember."

 "Then he really is a dick!"

 "Yeah." _But ... maybe if we get along ... he'll stop hurting me, I hope._

\-----

***Later that night. Ronald's house.***

 "Ah ... shit! Nah ... Hn." Ronald groaned from his position under Eric, hand grasping at the bed sheets. "Y' bein' ... proper rough today."

 "Ah'm naw hurtin' yer, am ah?" Eric panted.

 "Na. Hittin' me ... jus' - shit - where I ... need it."

 "Wha' a ... dertay mouth yer 'ave."

 "Y' alright though? Y' ... normally don't - ahh - fuck me so ... hard."

 "Ah'm fine."

 "Y' seem - ah fuck - pissed off. Thinkin' 'bout y' ... dad again?"

 Eric rammed into him with more force, burying his face in Ronald's neck. "No ... ah'm naw ...."

\----

 ***12.03am***

 Eric lay curled up in bed, covers pulled up over his head. He rubbed his eyes roughly. _Don't ... start crying, you big baby. That old shite isn't worth your time. He's ... not worth a single fucking thought._


	4. You'll never get over it.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Eric's Scottish lingo:  
> dinnae - do not.  
> Yer - you/ your.  
> Oatside - outside.  
> Ma - me/ my.  
> Dinnae ken - don't know.  
> Naw - not.dinnae - do not.  
> Ah - I.  
> Gees - guess.  
> Dae - do

 A bottle of milk was pulled from the fridge the following morning, Eric sniffing it. _Good, still fresh._ He was about to make himself a cup of tea, his younger siblings eating breakfast.

 "Eric." Neil said.

 "Aye?"

 "Wha' was ... dad doin' tae yer before?"

 "Oi, droop it." Ross stated. He was the second oldest brother in the family, having just turned ten.

 "No." Neil said. "Ah wanna' ken. Dad dinnae 'ave any pants on. Wha' was he doin' tae yer?"

 Eric's breach hitched, bottle dropping to the floor and smashing.

 "Oi, that's 'nough!" Ross shouted. "Leave 'im be!"

 Eric left the room quickly, darting upstairs and paying no mind to the broken glass still in the kitchen. The bed dipped slightly under his weight as he sat, fists clenching. _He remembers ... all of it._

 A few minutes later, Ross came upstairs and into Eric's room. "Ah cleaned yer mess up, messy shite."

 "Thanks."

 "Yer shakin', yer alright?"

 "Ah'm fine."

 "No, yer naw. Yer 'aven't been fine fir years."

 "Aye, ah promise, ah'm fine."

 "Whootever. Ah told Neil tae shut up aboot dad."

 "Thanks."

 "Eric?"

 "Wha'?"

 "Are yer mad at mum?"

 "Fir wha'?"

 "Leavin' us alone wi' dad."

 "No, 'course naw. She had tae earn money. We'd 'ave starved otherwise."

 "K."

 "Why, are yer?"

 "Naw really. Jus' dinnae understand why dad picked on yer so much."

 "Ah dinnae ken eyether."

 "Ah goat away wi' a few scratches but yer an' mum -."

 "Yer told Niel tae shut 'is trap, so stoop buggin' ma aboot it!"

 "Ah ... ah'm sorry, ah jus' wanna' understand why this 'ad tae happen tae yer an' mum."

 "Ah dinnae ken an' ah dinnae care! He's jus' a shite an' ah wanna' forge' all aboot 'im, so shut up!"

 "Aye." Ross headed for the door, whispering as he crossed the treshold to the landing. "But yer cannae forge'. It's hauntin' yer, we can all see tha'."

 Eric stared at the doorway, before flopping down in bed. He wanted to just stay there, falling to sleep and forgetting his problems but he couldn't. He needed to take his siblings to school. Not that he didn't trust Ross being able to get them there safely. It was more an issue of trusting everyone else in the outside world.

 With a groan, he pushed himself back up into a sitting position. Time to get his youngest brothers ready for school.

\-------

 The first lesson of the day was English. The students would be finding out their pairings in this lesson and Maths today. Eric already knew that he'd probably be stuck with Alan but he'd soon find out for sure.

 As the register was complete, Mrs White spoke. "Right, first pairing then. Eric Slingby -." The blonde grunted. _Me first again? What is this, a running joke? "_ You will be partnered with Alan Humphries."

 "Shite." Eric grumbled under his breath.

\-----

 "So, for your exercise, one side of the pairing will explain a happy memory from their childhood. Their partner must then write it down, making use of descriptive writing. This is an English class, after all."

 Eric gripped his pen tightly. _You've got to be kidding me._

 "Umm ... you can go first." Alan said.

 "No."

 "But ... I can't think of a good -."

 "Jus' dae it!" Eric slammed his fist down on the table, receiving a stern look from the teacher.

 "Umm ... okay. My ... sixth birthday party ... was nice."

 "Except yer goat no friends."

 "That's ... not true."

 "Oh, aye. Tha' German chick really count?"

 "Sascha's a boy."

 "Oh."

 "Why are you ... always so mean?"

 "Eh?"

 Alan sighed. "Never mind. So ... my birthday party. There was so much cake and chocolate and - are you getting ... this down?"

 "Lemme' hear alla tha' story first, wee shite." Eric grumbled.

 "Fine."

\-----

 Ten minutes later, Eric said. "K, ah'm done."

 "Okay. Your ... turn then." Silence fell upon them, Eric seeming to slip into his own little world. "Umm ... Eric?"

 The blonde flinched. "A ... aye?"

 "Are you okay?"

 "None of yer business."

 Alan frowned at him. _How ... defensive._ "It's your ... turn, Eric."

 "Oh, aye." Eric used the first lie that he could think of. "When ah was eigh', ma family took ma tae Disney land."

 "Oh ... nice."

 "An' we stuffed ourselves full of all kindsa junk."

 "Sounds nice." Alan began to scribble it down. "What was ... the weather like?"

 "Erm ... pissin' it doon."

 "Okay. Which Disney land ... was it?"

 "Er ... yer ken, Disney land?"

 "The one in Paris ... or the USA?"

  _Oh ... shite._ "Aye, wee Paris."

 "That's ... a shame that it rained."

 "Aye, ah were drenched."

 "So ... more details. What ... did you do there? What ... junk food exactly?"

 "Ah cannae remember tha' far back."

 "Then why ... choose that memory?"

 "Ah dinnae ken. Ugh, jus' make up some shite before ah throw a chair at yer!"

 "O ... okay."

\-----

 Sascha found Alan in the canteen again at lunchtime. As he sat down next to Alan, he spotted a red patch on his cheek. "Al, what has happened to your face?"

 "Oh ... Eric punched me after lesson."

 "Hmm ... why?"

 "I don't know. I think it was because ... he saw Andy."

 "Oh, so he just does it to impress his friends?"

 "Yeah, I guess. You ... were paired with Rudgar again, right?"

 "Yep." He moved closer to whisper in Alan's ear. "He asked me out on a date."

 "What, already?"

 "Yes."

 "What did you ... say?"

 "I told him that I'd like that."

 "So ... he's gay?"

 "I think so." Sascha fumbled with his hands. "I ... don't know ... how I'm suppose to tell him about what I was born as."

 "Yeah ... that conversation is going to be pretty awkward."

 "I know. It sucks!"

\-------

 "So, who did y' ge' partnered wi' for English and Maths?" Ronald asked that night.

 "Take a wild gees." Eric replied.

 "Alan?"

 "Aye."

 Ronald grinned. "He's proper cute, right?"

 "Eh no, he's naw."

 "He really is. Wouldn't mind gettin' him in bed myself."

 "How wild yer are, yerd probs break 'im. Tha' wee shite's so thin."

 "Y' can't say anythin', tha' amount of times y'ave smacked him 'bout."

 "Ah never said tha' ah enjoyed hurtin' 'im. It's jus' tha' way things are."

 He chucked. "I'd laugh if y' started crushin' on him."

 "That's never gunnae happen."

 "Y' never know. When y' start goin' ta' each others houses and then ge' closer, you'll end up underneath tha' covers."

 "Dinnae be daft, ah'd crush 'im."

 "True tha'." Ronald looped an arm around Eric's neck. "Come and squash me for a bit?"

 "Aye, ma pleasure."

 Ronald was soon pinned to the bed, Eric's lips trailing down his neck. "Ah ... fuckin' hurry up!"

 "Aye, aye captain!"


	5. Ouch!!!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Eric's Scottish lingo:  
> dinnae - do not.  
> Yer - you/ your.  
> Oatside - outside.  
> Ma - me/ my.  
> Dinnae ken - don't know.  
> Naw - not.dinnae - do not.  
> Ah - I.  
> Gees - guess.  
> Dae - do
> 
> Ronald and Alan are both in the highest set of classes, though due to the large amount of pupils, the top class is split into two seperate ones.

 The next day, Ronald walked into the library, boxy reading glasses in place. Alan would always spend his hour an hour break in here.

 The blonde tapped Alan on the shoulder, making him flinch. "Oh ... hey Ronnie."

 "Hey mate." Ronald tended not to speak to Alan often, as it would end with him also being bullied. He had no problems with defending himself but knew that it would put Eric in a difficult spot if Andy wanted Eric to pick on him. "So ... heard y' got paired wi' Eric."

 "I did. It's ... pretty awful."

 "Meh ... he's not tha' bad of a guy."

 "Oh, you know ... him?"

 Ronald winked. "Quite well y' could say."

 "Oh. If ... he's not a bad person, why does ... he always pick on me? He's ... okay in classes but outside of them, he's still as cruel."

 "Yeah ... I'm not defendin' his actions but he has his reasons I guess."

 "Like what?"

 "Erm ... I can't really tell y' but he's had a bad life." Eric had told him everything that had happened in his past when he'd gotten drunk one night from the beer Ronald's older brother had snuck them.

 "Oh ... okay."

 "He ... doesn't wanna' hurt y', not really."

 "Then ... if that's the case, he ... needs to stop bullying people."

 "Yeah ... I know." Ronald sat down at the table next to Alan. "He's pretty hot though, right?"

 "No."

 "Wha'? But he's all tall and muscly."

 "How could I look at him in ... that way when all he does is hurt me?"

 "Eh ... true."

 "Who did you get paired with ... anyway?"

 "Oh ... this bore named Claude. He's hot but fuck, I don't think he can move any muscles in his face."

 "Oh ... what do you mean?"

 "Not a single facial expression since I've met him."

 "Oh. Maybe he's just ... nervous?"

 "Na, more like a giant grump."

 "He's like ... William then."

 "Na, at least Will has a scowl."

 "What ... do you expect when ... that girl keeps slouching all over him."

 "Aww ... yeah. She's in love though."

 Alan nodded. "A little too much ... in love."

 Ronald laughed. "True tha'. So, wha' optional lessons did y' pick?"

 "Oh ... Media, Art and German."

 "Sweet! Are y' in Eric's Media class?"

 "Yeah. What ... about you?"

 "Business, IT and Food Tech."

 "Food Tech?"

 "Hmm ... so ... much food."

 "Umm ... Ronnie, you're drooling."

\-----

 Two weeks later, the science coursework began. The first topic to write about was the solar system, including each planet, stars, and black holes. Mr Corby addressed the class as the lesson was about to end. "You will not have enough time to complete this coursework during lessons. Therefore, you will have to work with your partner after school hours. Best of luck."

 Alan looked at Eric. "Meet me ... in the library after school today? We should start writing ... our coursework as soon as possible."

 "Ugh, jus' type is up fir ma." The blonde mumbled.

 "You know that ... half of it has to be hand written, so that ... won't work."

 "Then wri'e it an' ah'll copy it."

 "That won't work either. Mr Corby ... will be able to tell."

 "Hur will he?"

 "Our ... writing styles will differ."

 "Oh ... shite."

 "I'll be in the ... library at half three."

 "Ah cannae be there. Ah 'ave tae pick ma bros up from school."

 "Oh. I'll ... come over to yours later then?"

 "No, yer naw gunnae dae tha'."

 "My house ... then?"

 "Ah dinnae wanna'."

 "Do ... you want to fail class then?"

 "Ugh ... fine, nine then."

 "What? That's late."

 "Aye, ah ken but ah 'ave things tae dae."

 "O ... okay. Nine pm then." Alan scribbled his address down on a scrap of paper. "H ... here."

 "Alright." Eric stood up as the bell rang and left the room.

\-----

 Alan waited impatiently in the living room as nine pm came and went. Where is he? Doesn't he understand how important this is?

 Finally, a little after half nine, the door bell rang. Alan quickly answered it and let Eric inside. Once the door was shut, Alan walked close to Eric. "You're ... late."

 He was slammed against the wall. "Shut yer trap! I dinnae care wha' yer think!"

 "E ... Eric, stop it."

 The blonde let him go. "Aye, sorry."

 "No ... you're not. You wouldn't do it ... in the first place if you ... were so sorry."

 Eric looked away, voice just a whisper. "Ah really am. Yer jus' dinnae understand."

 Alan frowned. "What ... do you mean?"

 "Eh ... no, it's nothing."

 "Okay." Alan took in Eric's appearance. He was wearing an almost threadbare tartan jumper and faded jeans. "You ... didn't bring your laptop?"

 "Ah dinnae 'ave un."

 "Oh ... okay. I have a tablet and a ... laptop, so ... use which ever one you prefer."

 "Umm ... thank yer."

 "My ... bedroom will be easier for this. I have a desk and ... stuff."

 Eric thought he saw a blush cross Alan's cheeks and laughed. "Yer sure tha' yer naw jus' tryin' tae ge' ma intae bed?"

 The brunette went bright red. "Umm ... where did that ... come from?"

 Eric patted him roughly on the shoulder. "Ah'm jus' messin'. Chill oot."

 "Oh. O ... of course ... y ... you are."

 Eric looked around him. "Yer parents naw home?"

 "My dad ... works away and mom works three until one at a pub."

 "Alright."

 "I'm ... going to get some food. Do you want ... anything?"

 "Eh ... goat any smoky bacon?"

 "Crisps? I do."

 "Umm ... can ah 'ave a couple of packs?"

 "Hmm ... sure."

 Eric followed him into the kitchen, watching as Alan raided the fridge and cupboards, loading up a plate. "Eh ... hu's all tha' food fir?"

 "Me." Alan stated.

 "But yer so thin? Yer make yerself sick or somethin'?"

  _Dick_. "I have a medical condition. I ... can't gain fat easily or sustain it."

 "Oh."

 "Doesn't help ... that you keep stealing my lunch money. I've lost ... even more weight since you ... came here. "

 "Bring a packed lunch then?"

 "I've tried that ... before but guys used to dump it in the bin."

 "Oh. Sorry."

 Alan grabbed three packets of crisps from the cupboard and handed them to Eric. "Here." He then picked up his plate and a large bottle of coke and left the room. "Follow ... me."

 "Aye."

 Once up in the bedroom, Eric eyed the various books on the shelf. "Wha're these things? Comic books?"

 "Japanese comic books. Umm ... you can sit down."

 "Oh ... aye." Eric took the seat at Alan's desk.

 "What do you ... want to use then? Tablet or laptop?"

 Eric ripped open the first packet of crisps, shoving a handful into his mouth. "Laptop. Ah dinnae ken how tae use a tablet."

  _Eww ... don't talk with your mouth full._ "Okay." Alan turned it on and put it on the desk, before sitting down on his bed. "Which topic should we research first?"

 "Er ... jus' goo fir planets. May as well goo in order."

 "Okay ... that makes sense."

 "I'll dae Mercury an' yer dae Venus."

 "S ... sure."

 "Eh ... wha' dae we need tae research again?"

 "You didn't bother to write it down?" The wireless broadband box collided with Alan's head. "Oww!" Alan glared at him. "Eric, let ... me make one thing clear. If we're going to ... work together, you are not allowed to beat me up at home!"

 The sharpness of his tone surprised Eric. "Oh ... aye, aye."

 "No, not 'yeah, yeah'. That thing ... is really heavy. It .. it could have killed me!"

 "Ah ... ah'm sorry." Eric stood up. "Ah should goo." He dashed from the room.

 "Umm ... wait. Eric, wait!"

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So you know where the name of the fic came from now.


	6. What is this?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Eric's Scottish lingo:  
> dinnae - do not.  
> Yer - you/ your.  
> Oatside - outside.  
> Ma - me/ my.  
> Dinnae ken - don't know.  
> Naw - not.dinnae - do not.  
> Ah - I.  
> Gees - guess.  
> Dae - do
> 
> Both Eric and Alan had thoughts in italics in this chap.

 Alan was only half way down the stairs when Eric grabbed the keys from the hallway and opened Alan's front door, leaving said keys on the inside as he slammed the door behind him. Once outside, he slid down the wall, hands pressing over his eyes in a feeble attempt to block out the memories that were flashing before them.

\------

***Eric's past***

 "Oi, wha' are yer playin' a'?!" Eric's mother shrieked at his father. "Yer could 'ave kill 'im!"

 Eric, just four years old, buried his face in his knees, tears slipping from him.

 "I don't care! He's not my son!" Eric's father, Matthew, shouted.

 "Naw this agaan! 'Es yer son, fir Christ's sake!"

 "I'm not an idiot! The dates have never matched up!"

 "Yer moron! It's naw ma fault if yer cannae remember every bloody tim' tha' yer forced yerself on ma!" Eric's mother would always stick up for Eric; try to protect him. At least, she had until Eric was six, when the beatings had forced her into silence. Forced her to stand there and do anything.

\--------

***Present***

 Alan opened the door, expecting Eric to be streets away by now. Seeing him curled up, back against brick, came as quite a surprise to the small brunette. "Eric?"

 "Ah ... ah'm sorry! Ah dinnae mean tae hurt yer like this! Ah never wan'ed tae hurt ... anyone like this!" Eric looked up at Alan and rubbed his eyes, though the tear stains drying down his cheeks were an easy give away. Alan blinked at him. This wasn't the Eric he knew. It couldn't possibly be. He appeared to be so ... vulnerable?

 Alan knelt down next to him. "Then stop. Stop ... being a bully."

 "Ah cannae dae tha'."

 "Why?"

 "None of yer business." Eric began to sob.

 "Umm ... I'm sorry for upsetting you, Eric. I just ... didn't want a giant dent ... in my skull."

 "No, yer 'ad every righ' tae ... shou' at ma."

 "O ... okay. It's starting to rain ... out here and ... I don't have spare clothes ... big enough for you. Come back inside?"

 "No, yer dinnae 'ave tae be nice tae ma. Ah dinnae deserve it!"

 "Don't ... be silly. Please? I ... don't want you to ... catch a cold."

 "Why're ... bein' so nice tae me?"

 Alan stood back up. "I don't like seeing people ... upset, no ... matter who they are." Eric's sobs worsened. "Just come ... inside." Eric nodded and rose shakily to his feet. Once back upstairs, Alan said "you're shaking ... really bad."

 "Ah'm ... fine."

 "No, you're not." Alan moved his plate of food from the bed and placed it on his desk. "Lie ... down for a bit."

 "W ... wha'?"

 "You ... don't look very well. I don't ... mind if you rest for a bit. I can do the research ... for now."

 "O ... okay." Eric kicked his shoes off and curled up on top of the sheets. Alan moved to the desk chair and started researching on his laptop.  _Why ... is he so upset? It doesn't make any sense. He's ... never cared what I thought before._

 The brunette sighed, searching for the size of Mercury and the mineral content of the planet. A few minutes in, he heard another sob. _He's still crying?_ Turning around, he saw that Eric had a pillow pressed over his face. "Eric?"

 "Dinnae look at ma! Ah .. ah'm so ... pa'hetic."

 "N ... no, you're not. Everyone ... gets upset at some point. I ... do too."

 "Dae yer? W ... why?"

 "It ... doesn't matter." Alan got onto the bed, hugging Eric from behind. _I ... should do something._

 "Oi, ge' yer crotch awaay from ma arse!" Eric shot up into a sitting position, pillow falling into his lap.

 "I was just ... trying to make you feel better."

 Eric had heard that before. A 'I'll make you feel so much better, Eric', as his dad would pin him down on his bed and rip his clothes from him. "Ah ... ah ... ah ...."

 Alan shifted forward, wrapping his arms around Eric's neck. "It's ... okay, Eric. Whatever ... it is, cry if you need to cry."

 Eric's arms slinked around Alan's tiny waist. "Ah ... ah wish ah wa' dead."

 "You ... don't mean that."

 "Ah dae, ah really dae!"

 "Whatever ... is upsetting you, it won't last forever."

 "Aye ... it will." _It'll never go away._

\------

 The blonde was now lying on the bed, face pressed into Alan's shirt. Alan had his arm reached around him, hand rubbing his back softly. _This ... isn't Eric. It ... can't possibly be. He ... he looks so ... broken?_ "Eric ... I'm cold. Can ... we get under the covers?" Eric gazed up at him, an expression on his face that Alan had never seen before. Fear? "I'm not trying ... to get you in bed like that, I promise."

 "A ... alright."

 "Okay." They both moved under the covers.

 "Humphries."

 "Yes?"

 "Can ... ah 'ave another hug?" _I ... like your hugs._

 "Umm ... sure." As Eric was lying on his back now, Alan snuggled into his side, arm resting over his chest. "Eric?"

 "Aye?"

 "Why did you ... throw the wifi at me earlier?"

 "Ah ... ah dinnae ken. Ah think tha' ah jus' goat pissed oaf."

 "Did ... I say something to upset me?"

 "N ... naw really. Ah'm sorry."

 "Well ... we need to get along for this ... coursework to get done. If I upset you ... ever, just tell me, instead of being violent."

 "Ah ... dinnae mean tae ge' violent."

 "But ... you're always violent at school?"

 "That's different!"

 "Why? Because you ... want to impress your friends? "

 "Naw ... exactly."

 "Then ... why?"

 "Can we jus' droop it ... please?"

 "Okay, but violence ... is never the answer."

 "Okay." _I know ... that. I really do. It's ... just not that simple._

 They lay there in silence, Alan deep in thought. _Then ... why? He ... actually seems like a nice guy .... I just wish he wouldn't beat me up. He's ... so warm too._ Alan yawned. _I'm getting sleepy._ Eric's breathing fell back into a slow, steady rythm and as Alan looked up at him, he noticed that the blonde was asleep. _I shouldn't wake him, he ... looks like he needs rest. The ... assignment can wait until ... tomorrow._

\-------

 A little after 1am, Alan's mother came home and headed upstairs. She'd always check on her son before going to bed herself. Seeing that the light was still on in Alan's room, she frowned and opened the door.

 Instantly, she was over to Alan, tapping his cheek. "Hmm ... I'm awake." The teen groaned.

 "Have you gotten yourself a boyfriend, dumpling?" His mother asked softly.

 "Huh?"

 "The blonde next to you?"

 "What - oh, no. He's my coursework partner. We just got tired and ... fell to sleep."

 "I see. He's pretty hunky though."

 "Mom ... shush. Don't wake him up."

 "Awwh. Are you sure that you're not crushing on him?"

 "N ... no." _Even if he is warm and ... kind of nice look - wait, what?!_


	7. Porridge.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Eric's Scottish lingo:  
> dinnae - do not.  
> Yer - you/ your.  
> Oatside - outside.  
> Ma - me/ my.  
> Dinnae ken - don't know.  
> Naw - not.  
> dinnae - do not.  
> Ah - I.  
> Gees - guess.  
> Dae - do.   
> Li'e - like.  
> Shugar - sugar.

 Eric was awoken by the slight tapping on his back. He'd turned over in the night, face nuzzling into Alan's jumper. "Hn ... wha' mum?"

 "We ... fell asleep here last night." Alan stated.

 "Eh ... oh aye, we did. Shite, wha' time is it?"

 Alan checked his watch. "6am. I normally ... wake up early anyway, so that I can read or something before school."

 "Geek."

 Alan ignored his comment. "But I know ... you have to pick your brothers up from school and ... wasn't sure if you had to get home ... to take them too."

 "Aye, ah dae but not fir a wee while."

 "Okay. Do you want to ... have breakfast with me?"

 "Aye, sounds li'e a fantastic idea."

 Alan smiled slightly. "Good."

\-------

 "Christ sake, hur much shugar dae yer wan' in yer porridge!?" Eric asked.

 Alan scooped a few more tablespoons into his bowl. "I like it sweet. Plus, I ... need all of the calories that ... I can get."

 "Oh. Because of yer medical condition?"

 "Yeah."

 "Ma bad."

 "N ... no, it's fine."

 "It's jus' tha' we eat porridge wi' salt in Scotland."

 "Oh ... you do?"

 "Aye! Shugar is so weird."

 "Oh ... okay. What do you ... want for breakfast?"

 "Ah'm naw fussed."

 "That's ... isn't very helpful, Eric."

 The blonde chuckled. "Aye, very true. Er ... toast then."

 "Okay."

 "Wi' loadsa' butter."

\-------

 Alan walked to his first lesson. _I really can't ... wait until I see Eric again tonight._ His heart began to thump a little louder in his chest and he tugged nervously on his shirt collar. _Oh ... no. I'm ... not starting to like, like him, am I?_

 "Al! Al, wait!"

 Alan turned around and saw Sascha racing towards him. "Oh ... hey."

 "So ... how did it go last night with Eric?" He asked as he caught up with Alan.

 "It ... it was fine." _That wasn't the ... right word. Eric wasn't fine ... at all, and I still have ... no idea why. Why ... why is my heart racing? What's ... going on inside of me?_

 "Oh good. He didn't hurt you then?"

 "No, not really."

 "Not really?"

 "He just threw something at me." _But ... he was the one to cry ...._

 "See, he is a giant dick!"

 "He ... did apologise after."

 "Oh, now that is a surprise."

 "It really is."

\-----

 After his art lesson, Alan headed to the library. Andy and Eric were walking in the opposite direction. _He ... he's probably going to hit me or something._ Andy scowled at the small brunette before closing the gap and shoving him up the wall. Eric made no move to join in, though he didn't stop Andy from throwing punches and kicks either.

 Alan was finally left alone, crumpled up on the floor of the hallway. He eased himself back to standing. _Eric ... didn't hurt me ...._

\------

 It was around twenty passed nine when the doorbell to Alan's house rang. _Oh ... Yay! He's here. Wait ... Alan, shut up!_ The brunette opened it. "Hey."

 "Hey."

 Alan stared at him for a moment. _Did ... he just smile - at me?_ "Umm ... we should get started. I'll just get some food ... and then we can head upstairs."

 "Alright."

 Once upstairs, Eric sat down at the desk. "Oh ... yer left ma crisps up 'here fir ma?"

 "Yeah ... because you seem to like them but ... never got the chance to eat them last ... night."

 "Cheers."

  _Another smile?!_ "You ... you're welcome. Are ... you feel better?"

 "Aboot wha'?"

 "You ... were upset last night -."

 "Oh, aye. Ah'm good."

 "That's ... good to hear." Alan took a bite of cake, chewed and swallowed, before asking "so ... we still need to finish the planets. Should I take Earth or Mars?"

 "Er ... wha'ever yer want."

 "No .... Which is best for you?"

 "Ah'll goo wi' Earth then."

 "Okay ... no problem."

 Eric turned the laptop on. "Humphries."

 "Y ... yeah?"

 "Battery's nearly dead."

 "Oh ... okay. I'll get the charger." Alan scrambled off of the bed and grabbed the lead, shifting to plug it in. His hand brushed against Eric's. "Oh ... sorry."

 "No bother."

_What? I was ... expecting him to freak out and call me a ... puff or something._

\-------

 "Can we call it quits fir tonight?" Eric asked. "Ah cannae concentrate anymore."

 "Oh ... yeah, sure." Alan checked his watched. "Wow ... time really flew."

 "Ah ken. It's li'e un in tha' mornin'." He stood up from his chair. "Well, ah'll be oaf then."

 "Umm ... you can stay here if you want." _What ... did I just say!?_

 "Wha'?"

 "Umm ... nothing."

 "Dinnae sound li'e nattin."

 "I ... was just thinking that it's dangerous to ... walk outside at this time."

 "Ah'll ... be alright."

 "Are you sure? You ... can crash here and I'll sleep on the sofa."

 Eric sat down on the bed. "No ... we can ... sleep tegether. N ... naw in tha' way!"

 "I ... know."

 "So it's really alright tae stay?"

 Alan smiled. "It's ... fine."

 "Awesome!"


	8. Punches and kicks a plenty.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Eric's Scottish lingo:  
> dinnae - do not.  
> Yer - you/ your.  
> Oatside - outside.  
> Ma - me/ my.  
> Dinnae ken - don't know.  
> Naw - not.  
> dinnae - do not.  
> Ah - I.  
> Gees - guess.  
> Dae - do.   
> Li'e - like.  
> Shugar - sugar.

 "Y ... you don't have to sleep in your ... jeans." Alan stated. "Umm ... not because ... I want you to! Just ... because jeans are really ... uncomfortable."

 "Ah'm fine wi' tha' jeans. Really, ah am." Eric kicked his shoes off and pulled his legs onto the bed.

 "Okay. Sorry ... if it sounded weird." Eric raised a hand. _Oh ... no, he's going to hit me._

 To Alan's surprise, Eric's hand moved to his head and ruffled his hair. "Na, no bother at all."

 "O ... okay." _I like ... it when he touches me like that._ Alan's heart rate began to increase again. _His hands are really ... big._

 Eric's hands trailed down to Alan's cheek. _What ... is he ...._ "Yer cold."

 Alan blushed slightly. "It's because ... I don't have much fat on me."

 "Under tha' quilt then."

 "Oh ... yeah." Alan shifted to move under the covers and Eric did the same.

 At that moment, the bedroom door opened, Alan's mother peeking her head around the wood. "Ooh, you're still up." She smiled and moved into the room. "And your friend is here too."

 "Umm ... yeah. Is it okay is he stays tonight?" Alan asked.

 "Of course it is, dumpling." She cast her gaze over at Eric. "What's your name?"

 "Eric."

 "Ooh, a Scottish accent. How sexy!"

 "Mom!"

 "Oh, sorry, very sorry."

 "Ah'm from Edinburgh." Eric smiled.

 "Ohhh -."

 "Mom!"

 "You look so tall even sitting down!" She paused. "Alan has a little issue with bullies right now. I want to just strangle the lot of them, but maybe you could help protect him?"

 "I don't need protecting." Alan stated, though he'd caught the sad expression that had flickered momentarily across Eric's face.

 "That's why you come home with a new bruise every day?"

 "Mom, please just ... drop it."

 "Hmm ... okay." She bent down to kiss Alan on the forehead. "Night, dumpling. Night, Eric."

 "Night." The two teens said together.

 She walked to the door. "Oh ... and you two behave now. Sweet dreams." _Mom ... you're so embarrassing!_

\------

 Alan lay awake for the next two hours listening to Eric's steady breathing. _I ... want to cuddle up with him again but ... he'd probably freak out when he woke up. Still, he ... didn't last night._

 Eric grunted, before turning over in bed and opening his eyes. The light was still on in the bedroom. "Hmm ... yer still awake?"

 "Yeah ... I'm cold." _That might work. I know ... that it's cliché but ... he might offer me a hug this way._

 "Okay ... then." Eric grabbed hold of Alan's shirt, pulling the light boy closer to him and then swinging his arm around his middle.

 "Better?"

 "Much. Thank you."

 "No bother."

 _Maybe ... he likes me too._ "Umm ... thank you."

 "Fir wha'?"

 "Not bullying me ... at school earlier."

 "It's fine. Yer mum wouldn't be too happy if ah did anyway."

 "No ... but you had a chance to and you didn't."

 "Ah told yer. Ah dinnae wanna' hurt anyone."

 "So you'll never beat me up ... again?"

 "Ah dinnae ken. Ah'll try naw tae."

 "O ... okay."

\-----

 The following night, Eric came over to Alan's house again, and half way through researching, he said "ah brought some night clothes oover, jus' incase ah end up sleeping oover again."

 "Umm ... that's fine. Guess jeans really ... weren't comfortable, right?"

 "Naw at all. Too right aroond tha' crotch fir mornin' glories, eh?"

 Alan's slice of quiche dropped back onto his plate. "Umm ... I guess."

 "Oi, yer 'ad un too this mornin'."

  _Oh ... my ... God._ "Umm ... sorry about that. It ... wasn't over you ... I promise!" _Oh ... my ... double God, did I just say that!?_

 "Aye ... sure it wasn't."

_What's that supposed to mean!?!?_

 That night, Alan received a cuddle in bed without even asking.

\-------

 It was now six months later and the pair had been spending every night in Alan's bed. Eric was currently over at Ronald's, thursting into him. "Umm ... Eric?"

 "Wha'?"

 "Somethin' on y' mind? Y' don't seem ta' be inta' fuckin' tonight."

 "Oh ... aye."

 "Y' gonna' tell me wha' tha' problem is?"

 Eric pulled out and sat up on the bed. "Humphries."

 "Wha' 'bout him?"

 "Yer were right all along."

 "Oh. Told y' he's a cutie."

 "Yeah."

 "Got him in bed yet?"

 "No, naw quite yet. Dinnae wanna' scare tha' lad."

 "Kissed him then?"

 "Na, naw yet."

 "Well hurry up!"

 "Aye, ah ken."

\----

 The next day at school, Andy patted Eric on his shoulder. "Oi, Slingby!"

 "Wha'?"

 "You've gone all soft on us. I and the gang don't like that very much. What happened to beating the shit out of Humphries? To shanking him?"

 "Ah dinnae ken." Eric stated quietly.

 "Well, hurry up and start beating on him again, unless you want to be our next target."

 Eric's pulse began to race almost instantly. _N ... no. I don't want ... to be a victim again._ His fist clenched at his side. "Understood."

 "Well ... he's just down the hallway. Show us what you're made off."

 "Aye, ah will." _Even if I don't want to, I haven't got a choice. Kill or ... be killed._ He stormed over to Alan, palm slamming against the wall above the brunette's shoulder.

 Alan looked at him in panic. "E ... Eric?"

 "Oi, that's Slingby tae yer!" He moved close to Alan's ear, whimpering "forgive ma."

 Next thing Alan knew, a sharp punch sent him crashing to the ground. Sascha raced up to them. "Slingby, what do you think that you are doing? Leave him be, you giant dick!"

 "Shut up, shut up!" Eric's foot collided with Alan's stomach, causing a sharp gasp to leave him.

 "Come on, Slingby." Andy said, drawing closely. "It's been months since you've hurt him. Show him what you're really made of."

 "Aye ...."

 "No, stop it!" Sascha screamed, tugging on Eric's blazer."

 "Oi, ge' yer filthy hands oaf of ma!" He shoved Sascha backwards and continued to kick Alan.

 "E ... Eric, please stop." Alan turned his head to look at him, tears slipping from beneath his glasses.

 "Hell no!" _I'm so sorry. I ... don't mean any of this._

\------

 At a little before nine, Alan's door was knocked. _Is that Eric? It's the ... first ever time he's been early. Maybe he wants to apologise?_ Alan opened the door. "Hey ... Eric."

 "Hey." He barged passed Alan and the brunette frowned, locking the door. _Rude_.

 As Alan turned back around, Eric grabbed hold of his upper arm, slamming his back against the wall. _He's ... going to beat me up again!? Did ... I upset him somehow?_ Eric's palm slammed above Alan's shoulder again, eyes locked with his. _Has ... he been crying?_ "Eric ... what's -."

 Eric crashed their lips together, making Alan's eyes widen. _W ... what is he ...?_


	9. Kisses ....

 During the last six months, Alan had been slipping deeper and deeper in love with Eric. He'd look forward to their time together throughout the day, just to have the nights of sleeping cuddled up to Eric pass far too quickly. It had gotten to the point now where Alan would keep himself awake for as long as possible, just so that he could be aware of Eric's warm embrace.

 Alan tensed, unable to believe that Eric's lips were pressed against his own. _His … lips are so nice. I … shouldn’t let him kiss me like this. I … I’m mad at him for hurting me. B … but I just can’t help myself. I love him so much._ Alan opened his mouth, though he hadn’t a clue what he was doing. He’d never shared a kiss with anyone.

 To his dismay, Eric pulled away, the blonde’s satchel slipping from his shoulder and thudding onto the floor. “Ah’m sorry fir hurtin’ yer before.”

 _Now’s my chance to tell him … off._ “You … shouldn’t have done that. It … it was mean." _Okay … so I suck at telling people off._

 “Ah ken, ah really dae. It … was wrong of ma.”

 “Then why did you do it?!” _Hmm … that’s better._

 Eric looked away. “Andy told ma tae.”

 “So what?! You … don’t have to listen to him!”

 “Ah dae. He’d ….”

 “He’d what?”

 “No … never mind.”

 “No! Tell me! You really hurt me and my tummy is really bruised!” _Eric … please don’t look so sad. You’re making me feel bad._ “At least … give me the reason.”

 “Ugh … ‘ave it yer wa’ then. He … was gunnae make ma ‘is next target.”

 Alan let out a shaky breath. “Don’t … be silly.”

 “Wha’?”

 “You’re stronger than him! You could easily beat … all of them up.”

 A bitter laugh left Eric. “Wha’ makes yer think tha’?”

 “You’re punches hurt … so much more than his.”

 “Ah … ah’m sorry.

 “Don’t just … say that. You need to stop … hurting me. Stand up … to them.”

 “Ah … ah’m naw as strong as ah look.” Eric gulped. “Ah ge’ scared too.”

 _That seemed … really hard to admit, Eric._ “We … all get scared. I get … really scared sometimes.”

 “’Cause of ma?”

 “N … no.” _I don’t want to talk about this but maybe if I do, he’ll … open up to me more._ “My … dad is fighting away … at war right now. I’m scared that … he’ll never come home.”

 “Oh.”

 “So … why … are you so scared of them?”

 “Ah dinnae wanna’ talk aboot it.”

 “Why not?”

 Eric moved one hand up to cover his face. “Jus’ droop it.”

 “But -.”

 “Ah promise … tae stick up fir maself, tae stoop bullyin’ people full stoop if yer jus’ droop it.”

 _Why won’t he give me the reason? Is … whatever is bothering him really that bad?_ “Okay … but you need to mean that promise. It … can’t just … be words this time.”

 “Aye, ah dae mean it. Ah … ah’m so fed up of hurtin’ people.”

 “G … good. Can … you kiss me some more?”

 Eric dropped his hand back to his side. “Aye.” He moved closer again, lips pressing to Alan’s, tongue sliding between parted lips. Alan let out a muffled groan, hand moving to grip onto the back of Eric’s jumper. _It’s … so nice. I … want more._ Alan pressed his tongue against Eric’s, battling for dominance. The kiss became more heated, Alan’s hips pushing forwards against Eric. He suddenly became aware of his problem. _Oh … crap, I’m hard._

 Eric parted the kiss, mouth moving to suck on the soft skin of Alan’s neck. “E … Eric … hmm.” _I hope … that he doesn’t notice the boner._ Alan’s body began to feel hot, feverish in fact. _How … can he … make my … body light on fire like this?_

 “Can ah touch yer?” Eric asked.

 _Crap … he did notice!_ “Umm … no.”

 “Alright, no bother.” Eric shifted to kiss Alan’s jaw.

 _No! I do … want him to. I know that … I shouldn’t … but I just can’t help myself. Not … when it’s him._ Alan moved his hand from Eric’s back and grabbed Eric’s hand, pressing his bottom back against the wall and placing Eric’s hand against his crotch.

 “But yer jus’ said -.”

 “I … I changed my mind.” Alan stammered. “Can … you ….”

 “Yer sure? No pressure, noon at all.”

 “N … no, I know. I want this. P … please.” _Please … hurry up. You … you’re driving my body crazy._

 “Aye, alright then.” His hand moved from Alan’s grip, working to unbuckle Alan’s belt. The brunette pulled his hips away from the wall far enough for the strip of material to be pulled away. It dropped to the floor with a clunk. Alan’s jeans were then unbuttoned and the waist band pulled down to his mid-thigh, along with his underwear.

 Eric took him into his hand, pumping him slowly. “Ah … Eric!” Alan’s head fell back against the wall, exposing his neck further. The blonde took advantage of that, teeth nipping at the skin. “F … faster!”

 “Aye.” Eric quickened his motions, Alan’s fingers scratching against the paintwork behind him. _I … I can’t believe he’s actually … doing this to me. It … feels amazing._

 Eric pulled back from the reddened skin, sinking down onto his knees. “Eric … what … are you doing?”

 “Usin’ ma mouth. Tha’ okay?”

 _He … he’s going … to blow me!?_ “Y … yeah, please … do.”

 “Alright.” Eric opened his legs to sink lower and grasped the base of Alan’s member, licking over his tip.

 “Hmm ….” Eric began to suck on his end, before taking him fully into his mouth. “O … oh God, Eric!” Alan looked down at him, almost feeling dizzy from the pleasure that such a sight was giving him. His cheeks flushed bright red. _This … is really happening. He … does like me too._

 Eric’s hand shifted to tug lightly on Alan’s balls, causing Alan to let out a gasp of euphoria. “Oh … oh fuck!” His hips bucked forward and back in quick motions and Eric took the opportunity to slide his free arm around Alan’s bum, pulling him as close as he could and fully deep throating him.

 The tight, wet heat made Alan moan and pant loudly, head falling back against the wall again. His eyes slipped shut, leaving nothing but the sensation to fill his mind. “I … I’m … so close, Eric.”

 The blonde let out a hum, sending vibrations up Alan’s throbbing cock. His orgasm hit him hard, almost making his knees give out. “F … fuck!”

 Eric let him finish completely before pulling away and swallowing. “Yer like tha’?”

 “S … so much. I … want more.”

 “Eh?”

 _Am … I really going … to let him do this? I … I am. He … makes me heart thumb; drives all resilience from me. Makes … all common sense fall and crumble._ “I … want to … do it … with you.”  


	10. Simply liking you won't satisfy me.

 Eric looked up at Alan from his position still kneeling on the floor. “Y … yer mean sex?”

 “I … do.”

 “Dinnae yer think tha’ that’s a wee too soon?”

 “I … don’t care.” Alan tapped the tips of his two index fingers together nervously. “I … know that we aren’t … even together but I … really want to.” _Even … I know that it’s not a good idea but … I can’t help what I feel in my heart. If only my … brain would match up._ “But … if you don’t want to – if you don’t want me – I … understand.”

 “’Course ah want yer.”

 _Why … did he whisper that?_ “I … it’s okay … if you don’t want to, I mean that.”

 “No, it’s naw tha’. Ah jus’ dinnae want yer tae think tha’ ah’m pressurin’ yer or anythin’.”

 “I know that … you’re not!” _I’m pressuring … myself, maybe. I … I want you to love me._ “I just … really want to see what’s it’s like to do … that.”

 “But’s it’s yer first time. Save it fir someone who’s worthwhile.”

 “Don’t … say things like that … please. You … are worth it to me.”

 Eric blinked up at him. “Really?”

 “Y … yeah.” _Can’t you see how much I love you!?_

 Eric stood back up, looking deep into Alan’s eyes. “Are yer really sure aboot this?”

 “I … am.” _Not._

 “Alright then. But yer ken tha’ it will hurt a wee bit? Ah’ll be gently but it’s still not gunnae be tha’ nice.”

 “I … know that it might … but it’s okay.” _As … long as you’re done hurting me … for good._

 Eric nodded. “Okay then. Bedroom it is. Ah’m not gunnae bang yer up tha’ wall. Ah’m not tha’ much of a cunt.”

 “Yeah … bed sounds good.” Alan’s stomach began to swish around nervously.

\----

 Once in the bedroom, Alan sat down on the bed, looking away as he pulled up the edge of his shirt. Eric was quickly over to him, dropping the satchel to the floor and easing his hand away. “Ah’ll do tha’ fir yer.”

 “O … okay.” _That’s … really sweet that he’d take the time to undress me._

 “Yer … really nervous, ain’t yer?”

 “A … little.”

 “Wanna’ leave it then? Ah’m happy tae jus’ keep sleepin’ next tae yer.”

 “No …. I do want to.”

 “Alright.” He pecked Alan on the forehead. “Jus’ try tae relax. It’ll be less uncomfortable then.”

 “R … right.” Alan took a deep breath to steady his nerves and lay down.

 Eric got on top of him, letting his weight fall onto his elbows. “Dinnae wanna’ squish yer.”

 “T … thanks.”

 “An’ yer gunnae ‘ave tae eat a fuck load of food later. This will burn off some cals.” He grinned.

 Alan giggled softly. _Awwh … he’s trying to put me at ease by telling lame jokes. That’s so sweet._ “Very true.”

 Eric kissed him tenderly, letting Alan relax a little more before he shifted down his body, moving awkwardly to brush Alan’s shirt up. “Shite. Yer really am bruised.” He shook his head. “But … that’s never gunnae happen again.”

 “G … good.”

 “Ah mean it!”

 Alan nodded. “I’m … glad to hear that.”

\----

 Alan was now lying naked under Eric, the blonde planting soft kisses on each of his bruises. Eric couldn’t quite believe how thin Alan actually was. His clothes hid that fact well.

 Alan moaned softly. _My … bruises hurt to the touch but … I can’t even feel any pain from his kisses._

 Eric got off of the bed, rummaging around in his satchel. He pulled out a condom and a bottle of lube before getting back onto the quilt. _I … guess he’s … done this before._ “W … why a condom?” Alan asked. “You’ve … just … used your mouth to … umm.”

 “Aye, ah ken. This is jus’ tae put yer mind at ease. Ah’m not a virgin an’ dinnae want yer tae worry.”

 “O … oh, okay.”

 “Yer naw allergic tae latex, are yer?”

 “Umm … not that I know of.”

 “Alright. Open yer legs fir ma.”

 Alan nodded, spreading his legs as wide as he could. Eric nestled between then, lubing his fingers up. Alan’s leg was lifted, Eric kissing the inside of his knee, finger reaching down to trace soft circles around his entrance. Once Alan had seemed to relax to his touch, the first digit was eased inside of him slowly. The brunette’s breath hitched.

 “Does it hurt?” Eric asked.

 “N … no, it just … feels really weird.” _His … fingers are really big._

 “Aye, ah suppose tha’ it does. Want ma tae stop?”

 “N … no.”

 Eric nodded, sliding his finger in and out at a weak pace.

 After a few minutes, a second finger was added and it stroked against a spot inside of Alan that he didn’t even know that he had. “Ah!”

 “W … wha’?” Eric blinked at him.

 “T … that’s so nice. R … right there.”

 “Here?” Eric bent his fingers up.

 “N … no, to … the left a little.”

 “Oh … okay.” He moved the direction of his presses.

 “Oh fuck!”

 “There ah take it?”

 “Y … yeah.”

\----

 Over fifteen minutes later, all three fingers were pulled from Alan and Eric grabbed the condom packet, unzipping his jeans and unbuttoning the front of his boxers with his spare hand. “You’re … not going to get undressed?” Alan asked.

 “Ah dinnae like gettin’ naked.” Eric stated. “Sorry.”

 “N … no, it’s fine.” _Is he … not comfortable with his body? I … bet that it’s really nice though._

 The blonde pulled his member through the opening and tore into the condom packet, pulling out the condom and sliding it on. Alan’s breath became a little shaky. _He’s … really big._

 “Can yer ge’ on all fours for ma?”

 “W … what for?”

 “Ah’ve heard tha’ it’s naw as painful this way. Dinnae ken if it’s true but ah dinnae wanna’ hurt yer.”

 “Oh … sure.” Alan shifted onto his hands and knees. _This … is kind of embarrassing but … I don’t want it to hurt a lot … either._

 Eric knelt behind him, having lubed himself up. “Ready?”

 “Y … yeah.” Eric’s tip was pressed to Alan’s entrance and his heart began to thump. _Don’t … get scared. You … wanted … this, remember? Y … you want Eric to start loving you._ He gulped. _But … that’s an awful thing to think. Eric doesn’t … care that much about sex, does he?_

 The blonde pushed in gently, earning a throaty cry from Alan. _He’s … so deep inside -._

 “Yer alright?”

 “I’m … okay. It … doesn’t actually hurt.” _Thank goodness for that._

 “Glad tae hear it.”

 Alan started to adjust to being stretched, hips pressing back in a testing manner. _This … feels … good?_ He moved a little quicker, desperate to feel his spot being brushed against again. Eric stayed still, watching Alan slide back and forth onto him. It really was a turn on.

 “Eric … move … please.” Alan breathed.

 “Oh, aye.” Eric began to thrust into Alan in small motions, letting out a grunt of his own. “F … feel alright?”

 “I ... it’s nice.”

 “Good.”

 The blonde picked up speed, sliding in as deep as possible, pulling Alan’s hips close. “Ah … t … there!” The small man cried, fingers gripping against the bed covers. His spot was hit again and he moaned loudly, head falling forward. “M … more, more!”

\----

 A small while later, Alan spoke again. “Eric.”

 “Aye?”

 “It isn’t … hurting, so can … I change position? I … want to see your face.”

 “Yer dae?”

 “O … of course I do, you’re … really nice looking.” _I want … eye contact._

 “Aye, no bother.” Eric slowly pulled out and Alan moved onto his back. His ankles were pulled onto Eric’s shoulders, the blonde pushing back inside of him. “Better?”

 “So … much better.”

 Eric smiled. “Great.”

\----

 “Eric … harder!” Alan could feel the pressure mounting in his stomach. The blonde obliged, slamming into his spot. “Oh … oh … yeah!” His back arched, nails digging into the bed covers as he came hard, orgasm crashing over him. _T … that felt so good. Now … that I’ve experienced this … I’ll never be able to get enough. I’m … already completely addicted._


	11. Sore.

 Alan and Eric were now lying in bed, the brunette still fully naked. Eric shifted into a sitting position. “Ah’m gunnae goo oatside fir a fag.”

 “Oh … you’ve never smoked around me before.” Alan stated.

 “It’s nice tae ‘ave un after comin’ down.”

 _Oh … he means orgasming, right?_ “Y … you don’t have to go all the way … outside.”

 “Eh?”

 “Just … smoke it out of the window. Mom … won’t know.”

 “Alright then.” Eric went to rummage in his satchel, pulling out a packet of rolls up.

 “Umm … Eric?”

 “Aye?”

 “How do you … get cigarettes when you’re only … fifteen?”

 “Oh, Ronnie’s big bro buys ma a pack every now an’ then. Works oat cheaper than tha’ regular packets of fags.”

 “Oh … Ronnie?”

 “Aye, Knoxxie.”

 “He did say … that he knew you.”

 “Aye, un of ma best buds tha’ lad is.”

 “Cool. He’s a pretty good friend of mine too.”

 “Ever been tae ‘is house?”

 “N … no.”

 “Alright.” Eric moved over to the window, roll up and lighter in hand. His other hand pushed open the window. Alan watched him as he lit up and began to smoke. _He … looks so hot doing that._

_\----_

 “We should probs start tha’ coursework.” Eric stated.

 “N … not quite yet.” Alan cuddled up to him in bed.

 “Hur come?”

 “My … butt hurts.”

 Eric let out a chuckle. “Yer was tha’ un who wanted tae goo fir a second roond. Ah told yer tha’ it was a bad idea.”

 “It felt nice at … the time.”

 “Aye, ah be’ tha’ it did.” Eric thought for a moment. “Goo fir a bath. It really helps, trust ma.”

  “Oh.” _He must have … bottomed before._ “How … old were you when … you first did it?”

 Eric’s face fell. “Ah … ah cannae remember.”

 “Oh. Who … did you do it … with?” _Wait … why did I even ask that? I don’t … really want to know who else he’s …._

 “Ah … ah ….” Eric covered his face with his hand and turned away from Alan in bed.

 “Eric?” A sob was heard. _Maybe … it was a bad experience or something?_ “Are you … okay?”

 “Dae ah look fuckin’ okay?!”

 “N … no.” Alan also turned over, wrapping an arm around the large teen. “Was … it what I asked you that … upset you?”

 “A … aye.”

 “W … why?”

 Eric’s breath hitched. “Jus’ … droop it. Yer doin’ ma head in.”

 “O … okay. I’m … really sorry.” _He … always gets like this and I never know why._ Alan thought back through the past six months, where Eric would get upset seemingly at random.

 “I … it’s okay. Sorry … fir shooting.”

 “I … don’t care; at least you didn’t hit … me.” Eric sobs grew louder. _Oh … crap. Alan, shut up!_ Alan moved his hand, rubbing the top of Eric’s arm soothingly. “I’m going to give you … some peace and go run a bath.”

 “A … alright.”

\----

 Alan was now in the bathroom, Eric still crying in bed, reliving the moments of his first time. It was horrendously realistic. _I … don’t want to see this. I don’t want to … think about this._ He turned over again, burying his head in the pillow. _I just want to … forget all about it. Why can’t I just forget!?_

 The minutes passed and Eric began to wonder how long Alan was going to take in the bath. He wiped his eyes and moved back up to sitting, checking his watch. _He’s been in there for like an hour. I should go check on him and make sure that he’s alright._ Getting out of bed, he moved to the bathroom, pushing the door open.

 Alan was fast asleep, water up to his chin. “Oh … shite.” Eric was quickly over to him, rolling his sleeves up and lifting Alan back into an upright sitting position by his armpits. Not all of the scars on Eric’s arms had been inflicted by his father. He quickly rolled his sleeves back down, not caring that his arms were still a little wet.

 “Hmm … what’s … going on?” Alan asked, opening his eyes.

 “Yer nearly drowned in tha’ bath, yer daft sod.”

 “Oh …. Can you … pass my glasses? They’re on the sink.”

 “Aye.” Eric grabbed them and handed them to Alan.

 He slipped them on. “Umm … Eric, what are you … doing in here?”

 “Ah jus’ told yer. Yer nearly drown.”

 “Oh.”

 “And yer was gone fir ages, so ah decided tae check on yer.”

 “Thank you. I can … fill the bath back up with hot water and … you could come sit in with me?”

 “No. Tha’ would mean gettin’ naked.”

 “Oh … right, sorry.”

\----

 Alan walked back into the bedroom with Eric, dressing gown wrapped tightly around him. “How’s yer arse?” The blonde asked.

 “A bit better but … I’m still a little sore.”

 “Then goo lie down an’ ah’ll ge’ yer somethin’ tae eat an’ some painkillers.”

 “Thank you.”

 “Wha’ food would yer li’e?”

 “There’s some cup-cakes in the cupboard. Bring me … the whole pack?”

 “Aye, no bother.”

\----

 Eric came back into the room. “Ah’m got maself some food too, tha’ alright?”

 “It’s totally fine.” Alan smiled.

 “Cheers.” Eric passed him the cup-cakes and a pack of tablets.

 “I … I can’t take these, sorry.” Alan stated.

 “Oh, why naw?”

 “I’m asthmatic.”

 “Oh … ah dinnae ken tha’.”

 “It’s under control … but ibuprofen makes it flare up again.”

 “Ahh, okay. Paracetamol then?”

 “Please.”

\----

 Tablets retrieved, Eric gave them to Alan and sat down at the desk. “E … Eric?”

 “Aye?”

 “I’m going to lie down … for a bit.”

 “Aye, goo tae sleep. Yer mus’ be tired.”

 “But what … about the coursework?”

 “Dinnae worry aboot tha’ fir tonight. Ah’ll dae it fir tha’ both of us.”

 “Thank … you.” _That’s so … sweet, Eric._


	12. How did a six year old learn about that ...?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Brody has just turned six.

 Alan woke around 3am to the sound of heavy breathing. He sat up slowly, still groggy from sleep, and turned to face Eric. In the light of the room, he could see that Eric’s face was pale and sweaty, chest heaving heavily from his position sitting bolt upright in bed. “Eric?”

 The blonde visibly flinched. “W … wha’?”

 “Are you okay?”

 “Aye. Ah jus’ ‘ad a nightmare is all.” He gulped. _But … I wasn’t even asleep._

 “Do you … want to talk about it?” Alan asked.

 “No.”

 “Okay.” _He looks really shaken up._ Alan moved from under the covers, sitting on Eric’s legs and wrapping his arms around the blonde’s neck. “Whatever it was, it … wasn’t real. It’s all over now.”

 “Aye.” _It’s never going to be over._

\----

 The following day, it was time for the first break at school. Five minutes into said break, Sascha and Alan took their regular seats in the library. “Sash, are you okay?” Alan asked. “You … seem really quiet today.”

 “I … went to Rudgar’s house for the first time yesterday.”

 “Oh, and?”

 “He … noticed the binder when I took … my jumper off.”

 “Oh. So … you told him everything then?”

 “Yes, and he didn’t take … it so well.”

 “Why? What … did he say?”

 “That … I knew that he was gay and that … I really should have told him sooner.”

 “Crap … that’s really unfair. He … knows that you’re a guy though, right?”

 “I suppose that it doesn’t matter what I call … myself. He must just care … about my lack of dick.”

 “That’s so nasty and … narrow minded of him.”

 “I know. It …really hurts to think about it.”

 “Then … should we stop talking about it?”

 “If you wouldn’t mind.”

 “Okay.” Alan stated. “Just know that I’m … here for you completely … if you … ever need to talk, no matter what the problem is.”

 “I know … thank you.” Sascha smiled slightly. “So … what about you and Eric? Still wanting to be his boyfriend?”

 “Umm ….” Alan noticeably blushed.

 “What?” His smile fell away again. “What has that arsehole done this time?”

 “We … had sex last night.” Alan admitted.

 “You did what?! Oh … my goodness, did he force himself on you?!”

 “What?! No … of course he didn’t. I … was the one to … ask to do it.” _But … now I regret it. I was hoping … that he’d ask me out or something … but it doesn’t seem like he will._

 “Alan.”

 “W … what?”

 “You can’t ask him to fuck you. It’s not right.”

 “W … why not?”

 “Because he’s abusing you at school.”

 “I know that but … he promised that he would stop.”

 “Pfft. He’s said that before, do you remember?”

 “He means it this time.”

 “He best mean it or I will have to punch his balls up to his gut too.”

 Alan laughed nervously. “Umm … no need to do that. At least … the bullies have left you alone though, since you … almost made that guy infertile.”

 “Hmm. I really hope that you used protection, Alan.”

 “N … no need to go all mother on … me.”

 “Well did you?!”

 “Yeah … I did.”

 “Thank heavens for common sense then. You just do not know where that animal’s been.” Alan looked away. “Did … I upset you? I’m sorry. I guess that I just cannot keep my mouth shut at times. I really do hate that boy.”

 “You didn’t upset me.”

 “Then why are you making googly eyes at the floor?”

 “Because … I tried to ask Eric about his first time and he got really upset.”

 “Oh. He did not punch you, did he?”

 “N … no, he didn’t hurt me at all.”

 “Ah … double oh.”

\----

 The lunch break had just ended, Eric heading down the hallway with Andy. His black haired friend smirked. “Hey, Slingy.”

 “Wha’?”

 “Humphries coming at you.”

 “So?”

 “So have you already forgotten my warning from yesterday? Want me to make you my next target?”

 “Dae … wha’ yer want. Ah dinnae care anymore.” _I really do care … but I made a promise. I’m not … going to break it._

 “Excuse me?”

 “Yer heard ma!” Eric shouted, catching the attention of Alan and Sascha as they passed. They stopped dead in their tracks. “Ah dinnae wanna’ bully people anymore, yet goat tha’?!”

 “Why you!” Andy aimed a punch at Eric, just for him to catch his wrist, nails digging into his skin. “What the fuck, Slingby?! Let go of me!”

 He was shoved roughly to the floor, Eric moving to stand over him. “Leave ma aloon, understood?”

 “You’ve gone fucking soft!”

 “Ah dinnae care! Humphries is ma’ friend, yer goat tha’?! Yer or any of yer friends cause ‘im trouble and yer will be tha’ uns tae be kicked intae a heap! Dae ah make maself clear!?”

 “This isn’t over.” Andy quickly scrambled to his feet and raced away.

 Alan just stood there in shock. _I … I’m his friend? Oh … Eric, I knew … that you weren’t as bad as everyone made you out to be._

_\----_

 That afternoon, Brody came racing up to Eric in their home. “Eric, ah’m hungry! Please buy ma some food!”

 Eric looked at him. “Ah’m sorry but ah dinnae ‘ave any money today, lad.”

 “Wha’? Why naw?!”

 “Ah decided tae stoop takin’ people’s lunch money.” Eric admitted.

 “Wha’?!”

 “It’s wrong tae dae it.”

 “It dinnae stoop yer before!”

 “Well … ah finally realised tha’ it’s wrong.”

 Brody huffed at him. “Ah li’ed yer better before! Yer told us tae stick up fir ourselves!”

 “Ah ken but -.”

 “Dae yer want tae be fucked up tha’ arse again?!”

 Eric stood up and darted into the garden. _How the fuck did he learn … what dad did to me? Did Ross … tell him? No, he wouldn’t. What … the fuck…._ Eric’s fist curled at his side. _And … I’m sorry that I can’t provide for you anymore. Really … I’m sorry that I’ve failed you. I’m so sorry._


	13. Got a hold on me.

****Eric’s past ***

 The eight year old boy sat huddled in the corner of his living room, clothes discarded on the floor and a new slash on his stomach to add to his collection. A slap rung out through the air, his father having smacked his mother around the face. “Ah hate yer!” She screamed before darting from the room. And yet, Eric’s father would always be able to coax her into not leaving him with three simple words. That would work for another five years at least.

\-----

 “Ah … Eric, y’ tryin’ ta’ bruise my hole?” Ronald groaned, hips pressing back against Eric’s.

 “Er … sorry, was ah bein’ too rough?”

 “Na’, I’m jus’ messin’ with y’.” Eric didn’t reply. “There’s somethin’ wrong though, right? Saying how rough y’ bein’.”

 “Aye … there is.” Eric pulled out and moved to sit on the edge of the bed. “Ah’m naw really in tha’ mood anyway tae be honest.”

 Ronald rolled onto his back. “What’s up?”

 “It’s nothin’ really.”

 Ronald sat up, scooting towards Eric and wrapping an arm around his shoulders from behind. “Can’t be tha’ bad. Y’ve told me ‘bout a lot worse, right?”

 “Aye, ah suppose so.” Eric sighed and then began to explain what Brody had said to him.

 “Oh … shit, he really said tha’?”

 “Aye.”

 “That’s fuckin’ rough, man.”

 “Aye, it is.”

 Ronald’s hand lifted to pat Eric on the back. “I heard ‘bout y’ stickin’ up ta’ Andy at school actually. Proud of y’, mate.”

 “Cheers.”

 “Does tha’ mean tha’ y’ fallin’ for Al?”

 “No. We did fuck yesterday though.”

 “Woah … ge’ in there, mate.” Ronald grinned. “Who made tha’ first move?”

 “Ah … did but he was tha’ un who wanted tae shag.”

 “Ohh … would ‘ave never thought tha’ he’d say somethin’ like tha’.”

 “Aye, nor did ah.”

 “Was he good in bed?”

 “Very, though he dinnae really dae much.”

 “Y’ popped his gay cherry, right?”

 “Aye, ah did.”

 “Hope y’ didn’t hurt him too much. Guy looks so fragile.”

 “Na, ah dinnae actually. It surprised ma.”

 Ronald smirked. “Y’ gunna’ end up fallin’ in love wi’ him, y’ know tha’?”

 “Ah dinnae believe in love and yer ken tha’.” _The world love just makes it easier for the person to hurt you._

_\----_

  Alan waited impatiently that night for Eric’s arrival. _I can’t wait to see him again. I wonder if we’ll do it again tonight. I hope we do – no, I don’t. I’m not going to … let him cast whatever spell he had over me last night again. I’m not going to have … sex with him again unless … he asks me out on a date or something._

 A few minutes passed of Alan trying to set that thought into solid action. The door was soon knocked on and Alan hurried to it, opening it quickly. “H … hey, Eric.”

 “Hey mate.” Eric smiled at him and all previous thoughts left Alan’s mind. He threw himself at Eric, head resting against his shoulder and arms wrapping around his middle. Eric chuckled. “Miss ma tha’ much since science?”

 _His … accent._ “I … did.” _Oh … he smells so good._

 “Ah missed yer too.”

 A blush rose on Alan’s cheeks and he pulled back to look at Eric’s face. “R … really?”

 “Aye, really, really.”

 “Then … show me … how much you missed me.” _What … am I doing!?_

 “Sounds good tae me.” Eric bent down to kiss his cheek.

 _N … not there._ Alan pressed his lips to Eric’s, fingers grasping at his jumper. He was soon pressed back to wall, Eric sliding his tongue into his mouth. Alan’s hand slid down, rubbing Eric through his jeans. _Is … this really me? I … I’m completely lost to him already. His … warmth, his touch … the sounds he makes when he kisses me so deeply._

 Their lips parted and Alan had to hold back a whine of disappointment. _I’m … completely love stuck by him._ “Alan … dae it … please.”

 _He … called me by my first name …._ Alan’s blush intensified. “Do … what?”

 “Touch … ma.” Eric bucked his hips, pressing into Alan’s hand through his clothing. He suddenly stopped and added. “Umm … only if yer wanna’ though. Sorry.” Alan’s hand rubbed a little harder, before giving Eric a soft squeeze. He groaned, forehead resting on the wall above Alan’s shoulder. “Is … tha’ an aye?”

 “I … want to … make you feel as good as … you made me feel last night.” _Oh … God, that sounded so pervy._

 “Sounds … great.”

 _But … I haven’t a clue how to … do that._ “Umm … I probably … won’t be much good at it though.”

 “That’s alright. Jus’ dae wha’ever yer feel comfortable dooin’.”

 “O … okay.” Alan used both hands to unbutton Eric’s jeans, one of them then unzipping them. They were pushed down slowly, Alan’s hand dipping into Eric’s underwear. Eric’s member was pulled from them, Alan glancing down. _So … big and warm._ He began to slide his hand up and down it slowly, earning a grunt from Eric. “Is … that okay?”

 “Aye … nice an’ slow.” Eric breathed, making Alan’s semi turn rock hard. He continued with his motions, Eric’s breath turning heavier. “Yer hands are really soft, babe.”

 _He … he just called me babe?!_ “E … Eric?”

 “Aye?”

 “What … do I do next?”

 “Grab ma a bit harder.” Alan did so. “Hnn … aye, jus’ li’e tha’.” Alan continued to pump him slowly for the next minute or so, Eric’s pants and groans just getting louder.

 “Should … I speed up a bit now?”

 “Aye.”

 “Okay.” Alan squeezed him a little tighter and sped up. _I hope that … he’s enjoying it. He sounds like he is._ A little while passed. _Wow … he’s lasting a lot longer than I did yesterday._

 “Alan?”

 “Y … yeah?”

 Eric lifted his head from the wall. “Kiss ma?”

 “S … sure.” Their lips crashed together again, tongues quickly mingling. Eric’s hips began to thrust powerfully, one hand moving to grip Alan’s shoulder. He groaned loudly, Alan feeling liquid seeping into his hand.

 Eric pulled away from the kiss. “Ar … tha’ was so good.”

 “I ... I’m glad that you liked it.”

\----

 They both lay panting on Alan’s bed later that night, the brunette still trying to come down from his multiple orgasms. “Umm … Eric?”

 “Aye?”

 “Thank you … for keeping your promise. I saw … everything that happened between you and … Andy.”

 “Yer did?”

 “Y … yes. So … thank you.”

 Eric turned on his side, nose almost rubbing against Alan’s. “It was … tha’ right thing tae dae.”


	14. Bottles thrown.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The first big chunk it just sex. Feel free to skip.

 The following night, Alan lay on the bed, small moans coming from him. Eric’s three lubed digits were sliding in and out of him, other hand wrapped around the base of him. His mouth was bobbing up and down; taste of precum a sure sign that Alan was getting closer to climaxing. The brunette’s hand moved to Eric’s hair, tugging sharply on it. _Ugh … I hate when people pull on it like that._ Alan moaned his name. _But … I love the sounds he’s making._

 Eric pulled his fingers out, making Alan let go of his hair. “Are … we going to ….”

 “Nope, naw yet.” Eric said once he’d lifted his head up. He slid down further, hand still around Alan. His spare hand lifted one of Alan’s legs, breath gusting over Alan’s entrance.

 “W … what next … then?”

 “Yer’ll see soon enough.”

 “O … okay.”

 The flat of Eric’s tongue slid over Alan’s entrance, making him gasp. Eric looked up at him. “Is it okay or dae yer want ma tae stoop?”

 “No! N … no, please don’t stop. It … feels nice.”

 “Alright.” Eric began to tease Alan’s hole with the tip of his tongue, hand pumping him slowly, teasing him back close to the edge.

 “Eric … nnn … more.” The flicks of his tongue sped up. “Ah … n … m … more.” Eric slowed down again and Alan knew it was probably just to tease him some more. “P … please.” Eric moved away a tiny bit, tip circling around Alan’s entrance. The next thing Alan knew, Eric’s tongue had pushed inside him by half an inch. The brunette’s hands found the covers under him, twisting the fabric as he cried out. _Oh … God … it feels … so good._ He began to writhe against them, the tightening hand around his throbbing cock ripping an orgasm from him. “Ah!”

 Eric lowered Alan’s leg again and sat up, licking his fingers and then wiping his mouth. “Fancy bein’ on toop tonight?”

 “Umm … I’d like that but … I don’t know how to.”

 “Jus’ move oop an’ down a wee bit.”

 “O … okay.”

 Eric’s jeans and underwear were soon pulled down slightly, condom in place and lubed up. “Alright, cock yerr leg oover.”

 “O … okay.” Alan moved to straddle Eric’s hips, Eric holding himself, other hand placing on Alan’s hip to help guide him down onto him. Alan groaned at feeling himself being filled. _It … goes in so deep in this … position._

 “Feel good?” Eric breathed.

 “Really … good.” Alan took Eric’s advice and began to move his hips in small motions.

 “Ar … fuck, jus’ li’e tha’, Alan.”

 “It – I’m doing it … right?”

 “Aye.”

 Alan smiled slightly before he screamed out, Eric thrusting up powerfully into him. His fingers curled into Eric’s long sleeved shirt, shoulders trembling. His eyes began to water. _I … I can’t even think straight._

_\----_

 Two weeks had passed and Alan had tried to stop himself from letting Eric drag him to bed every single night. Yet, he just couldn’t stop himself. There was just something about the Scot that made Alan weak at the knees.

 That morning, Eric’s mother was just about to leave for work when she came into the kitchen. “Eric, wha’ is gooin’ oon between yer an’ Brody? Yer haven’t spoken fir weeks.”

 “Brody upset 'im.” Neil said before Eric had a chance to speak.

 “Aye.” Brody said. “Ah told him tae stick up fir himself and tae stop bein’ weak, unless he wants dick up tha’ arse again.”

 “Brody!” His mother shot him a glare.

 “Wha’? It’s not ma fault. Eric dinnae even boother tae fight back.”

 The bottle Eric was holding didn’t crash to the floor this time. It was thrown against the nearest wall.

\---

 Eric’s mother found him in his bedroom and moved to sit next to him on the bed. “Ignore Brody, Lad. E’s too young tae understand.”

 “Aye.”

 His mother wiped the falling tears from his eyes and then hugged him softly. “Ah hope tha’ yer ken tha’ it wasn’t yerr fault. Noon of this was.”

 “A … aye.” Eric moved to wrap his arms around her waist, face pressing against her stomach as he curled up on the bed and began to sob harshly.

 “There, there Lad, it’s gunnae be alright.”

_No it’s fucking not!_

_\----_

 “This is so awkward.” Sascha whined as he sat with Alan in the library.

 “What’s wrong?”

 “Being partnered with Rudgar even though we’re not even talking properly right now. It’s like the capital of awkward.”

 “He hasn’t apologised yet?”

 “Why would he? He doesn’t think that he’s done anything wrong. Giant dick.”

\----

 _Right … no pouncing on Eric tonight, no matter how … hot he looks. Oh … crap, I’m hard just thinking about him._ To Alan’s embarrassment, the door was knocked. _S … shit, he’s here._ Alan sighed and opened it, hoping that his face hadn’t turned too red. “Hey.”

 “Hey.” Eric walked into the hallway.

 “Are you okay? You … don’t look very happy.”

 “Ah’m fine.” He flashed a grin and Alan immediately felt his resolve wash away. _He … looks so nice tonight._ “Yer alright?”

 “I … I’m -.” _I’ll stop after tonight. I … mean it. I have to._ Alan closed the gap between then, rising up onto his tiptoes to kiss Eric. His body seemed to act of its own accord as his lips moved down to suck on Eric’s rough neck. The blonde let out a throaty groan and Alan trailed lower, pulling down on Eric’s jumper to explore the new region of skin under Eric’s collar bone. His lips met a bumpy surface and he frowned, pulling away. His eyes fixed on a crosshatching of scars. “Eric … what -.” Without thinking, he lifted the edge of Eric’s jumper with his other hand and caught a glimpse of more scars before his hand was snatched away. The look Eric shot him made a lump rise in his throat.


	15. Scars.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> gad- good.

 Eric’s grip tightened on Alan’s wrist. “E … Eric, you’re hurting … me.”

 The blonde ignored him. “Ah told yer tha’ ah dinnae wan’ yer seein’ ma wi’out clothes on! Ah fuckin’ told yer!”

 “I … I’m sorry,” Alan stammered, trying to pull his arm away.

 “Then why fuckin’ dae it!?”

 “B … because I care!” _Because I love you._

 “That’s naw carin’! That’s jus’ bein’ fucking nosy!”

 “I do care! All you do is push me away!”

 Eric’s hand lost its grip, arm falling to his side. “W … wha’?”

 “You get upset and … cry but … you won’t tell me why. Why won’t you talk to me?!”

 A large scowl fixed on Eric’s face. “Fine! Yer wanna’ see so bad!” His hand shifted to the line of his jumper and it was tugged off roughly.

 “Eric … what are you -?”

 “Yer wanted tae see so bad!” His shirt was also dropped to the floor. “Happy now!?”

 Alan remained silent, eyes going wide at the sight. There wasn’t an inch of Eric’s arms, chest or stomach that wasn’t marked. His gaze shifted to a large patch of darkened skin on Eric’s navel. _Is … that a scald mark?_ Eric’s hand moved the waist band of his jeans but Alan grabbed onto it. “Eric … that’s enough.”

 “Why?!”

 “B … because … you didn’t have to show … me if you didn’t want to.”

 “Ah dinnae ‘ave much of a choice! Yer started peekin’ anyway!”

 “I’m … sorry. I … was just worried.” _And … really shocked._

 “So? Ah wouldn’t ‘ave taken yer clothes off if yer dinnae wan’ ma tae.”

 “I … I know.” Alan lifted Eric’s hand, planning to kiss it gently when he spotted the skin on the inside of Eric’s arm. “Y … you cut yourself?”

 The blonde tore his hand away. “No.”

 “I’m … not stupid, Eric. Those … cuts are straight.”

 Alan was shoved backwards roughly. “Yer jus’ dinnae ken when tae shut yer mouth, dae yer?!”

 “I … I guess not.” Eric glared at him. “But … I’m only asking because I … want you to be okay.”

 The clothes were picked up from the floor. “Well ah’m obviously naw okay, so there. Ah’m gooin’ home.”

 “Were … all of those scars caused … by your own hand?”

 “Humphries!”

 “Tell me! Just … let me in … for once.” His voice began to crack. Eric turned his back to him and Alan got his answer. There was no way that Eric could have made such deep scars on that side of his body. The shirt was quickly slipped back on. “Then … why are those cuts … on your arm self-inflicted?”

 “It’s noon of yerr business.”

 “It is!”

 “No, it’s -.”

 “You … said that I … was your friend. Let … me try to help you.”

 “Yer cannae! No un can.”

 “But -.”

 “See yer at school.”

 “No!” Alan darted closer to him, wrapping his arms around Eric’s waist.

 “Ge’ away from ma!”

 “N … never.” Alan buried his head in Eric’s back, tears forming in his eyes. They soon fell, wetting the material of Eric’s shirt. “Let … me in. Please … talk to me. I … care, Eric, I really … do care about you, so … so much.”

 “Ah … dinnae care.”

 “Well you should! Y … you’re a really nice person, Eric. You … don’t deserve to be doing this .. to yourself!”

 “Ah’m naw a nice person. Ah’m jus’ a bully.”

 “No … you stuck up for yourself … and for me! You … really are a good person.”

 “O … okay.”

 “So … talk to me. It’ll … help if you … talk about it.”

 “Will it?” Eric’s tone softened.

“It … might. At least then … someone will understand.”

 “No un can ever … understand.”

 Alan hugged him tighter. “Y … you don’t know … if you don’t try.”

 “A … aye.”

 “Does … Ronnie know about … any of this?”

 “A wee … bit.”

 “Then … you can talk to me too.”

 “No. There’s noofin yer can dae tae help ma.”

 “Y … you don’t know that!”

 “Stoop cryin’ already.”

 “I … I can’t help it! I’ve … told you before, I don’t … like people being sad.”

 “Aye, ah remember.” _I … don’t want Alan … crying like this._

 “So please, please just … tell me why.”

 Eric let out a large sigh. “Ma wee bro jus’ upset me this mornin’ is all. Okay? We’re done ‘ere.”

 Alan let go of him, shifting so that he was face to face with Eric, blocking his path to the front door. “We’re not … done.” _He’s … crying too._ “We … won’t be … done until you’ve told me everything.”

 “An’ why would ah dae tha’? Ah … dinnae need tae tell yer anythin’.”

 “Because you obvious can’t handle whatever the problem is alone! You wouldn’t be hurting yourself … if that was the case.”

 Eric’s eyes went wide. _He … he’s right._ “Ah … ah ….” His hand moved to cover his face. And then he crumbled, a broken sob leaving him. “Ma … dad used … tae hurt ma.”

 Alan’s breath caught in his throat, words hard to grasp. “O … oh. Most … of those scars were because of him?”

 “A gad ninety … percent, aye.”

 “Oh … Eric -.”

 “Ah cannae do this, ah’m … sorry.” Eric barged passed him, almost knocking him over. “Ah cannae … talk aboot this.”

 “Eric, wait!”


	16. Fridge hunting.

 Alan’s hand caught hold of Eric’s jumper sleeve, fingers twisting in the fabric to maintain as tight of a hold as possible. “Don’t … go.” Alan whispered, shoulders shaking.

 “Ah told yer! Ah cannae talk aboot this anymore!”

 “It’s … okay. I know … the reason now and … I know that we can get through it … together.”

 “Taegether?”

 “I’m … here for you and I always … will be.”

 “Yer dinnae really mean tha’.”

 “I do! I … I wouldn’t say it otherwise!” Alan’s shout echoed around the hallway.

 “O … okay.”

 “Just … one more thing.”

 “Wha’?”

 “What … did your brother say … to upset you so much that … you had to resort to doing that?”

 “Ugh … he jus’ brought ma dad up. It’s fine now.”

 “I don’t … believe you.”

 “Eh?”

 “You … you’re not fine. Not fine … at all.”

 “Ah … ah – can ah ‘ave a hug?”

 “W … what?”

 Eric turned his head to look at Alan. “Ah … need a hug, Humphries.”

 “Oh.” _Is … he finally letting me in?_ Alan’s grip fell away and Eric turned around.

 “P … please.” Alan darted forward, arms wrapping around Eric’s thick torso. Eric hugged him back just as tightly, resting his check on Alan’s head. “Why … is life always so fuckin’ hard?” Tears slipped from him, trickling into Alan’s hair.

 “I don’t know … Eric, but … it’ll get better, I promise.”

 “Maybe.” _Maybe with you around, it will._

 “It will.”

 What felt like hours of silence passed before Alan spoke again. “Do you want to go … up to bed for a bit?”

 “Ah dinnae wanna’ fuck.”

 “No! I … just meant … we could lie down and cuddle and stuff.”

 “Oh. Ah’d li’e tha’.”

 They both headed upstairs, Alan the first to reach the bed. He got onto it, shifting under the covers. Eric soon followed, pulling Alan to his chest, arms still shaking violently. “Eric?”

 “Aye?”

 “Do … you still live with your dad?”

 “No, thank fuck. We managed tae’ ge’ away from ‘im a few years ago.”

 “When you moved to Whitechapel?”

 “Aye. When I turn sixteen, ah’m gettin’ ma named changed.”

 “To … what?”

 “McKenzie. It was ma mum’s maiden name. Ma dad was from Carlisle. Ah want a prooper Scottish name.”

 “Do you … like being Scottish, Eric?”

 “Aye, ah’m fuckin’ prood of it!” Eric smiled slightly.

 Alan giggled. “Even though no one can understand … a word you’re saying sometimes.”

 “Aye, very true tha’ is.” His smile slipped away again. “Ah really dae miss Edinburgh. Tha’ city was so beautiful.”

 “It does look nice … on the TV and stuff.”

 “Aye, but it’s even better in real life.”

 “Have you … ever been to the castle?”

 “Aye, on a school trip tha’ once.”

 “Cool.” Alan thought for a moment. This conversation seemed to be cheering Eric up. “Do you … own a kilt?”

 “Aye, ah dae. Ah can ge’ away wi’ wearin’ it too ‘cause tha’ bottom of ma legs aren’t too scarred up. Plus, ah goat hair legs, yer ken wha’ ah’m sayin’?”

 “Eww, Eric!” Alan laughed.

 “Wha’? Ah thought ah was yer type?”

 “Y … you are. But … would it kill you to wax?”

 Eric chuckled. “Yer cheeky sod!”

 “Hmm.” The brunette snuggled closer. “Do you have … a type?”

 “Eh, naw really. Anybody cute will dae ma.”

 “You think that … I’m cute?”

 “Aye, tha’ yer are.”

\------

 Alan broke the silence again some time later. “Want … to go raid the kitchen?”

 “Er … why?”

 “When … I’m feeling down, it helps make me to feel better.”

 “Yer never stoop eatin’ anyway.”

 “I know but … do you want to?”

 “Yer mom won’t ge’ pissed oaf?”

 “No. She’s used to … having to buy food all of the time.”

 “Then it sounds li’e a grand idea.”

 Once down in the kitchen, Alan grabbed a handful of plates from the cupboard. “Have a … look around and get whatever … you want.”

 “Aye, cheers.” Eric rummaged in another cupboard. “Ohh, yer goat tea cakes!”

 “Yep. Do you like them?”

 “Ah love ‘em!” The fridge was the second source of food hunting. “Hmm … cheese. Strong cheese at tha’. Yer goat any crackers?”

 “Yeah … I’ll get them out for you.”

 “Thanks a million.”

\----

 Eric and Alan lay on the bed some time later, stomachs stuffed full of various cakes and cookies, cheese and crackers, and an arrangement of crisp flavours. It was amazing how something so silly and simple could make such a huge difference to the blonde’s mood. “Ah,m stuffed! Ah dinnae think tha’ ah’ve ever eaten so much at unce.”

 “Did … you enjoy the food though?”

 “Ah did tha’.” He paused for a moment. “Thank yer fir bein’ there fir ma.”

 “It’s okay.”

 “No, ah mean it! It really means … a lot tae ma.”

_Eric, hearing that makes me so happy._


	17. Rudgar.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Eric's past bit might be triggering. 
> 
> cald - cold

***Eric’s past***

 “Dad, dad! Stoop it!” The six year old blonde screamed as he was shoved against the wall of the living room. His hand was pulled up into his father’s underwear, the elder’s hand tight around his wrist. “Ah dinnae want tae!”

 “You just wait a few years until that hole of yours is big enough for me.”

 “Fuck yer!”

\-----

***Present***

 Eric flinched awake and saw that Alan was still sleeping soundly against his shoulder. “Yer such a sweet lad, Alan.” He whispered. “Thank yer fir bein’ so nice tae ma.” Alan snuggled closer to him in his sleep, mumbling something about cup-cakes. It brought a smile to Eric’s lips. “Yer jus’ so cute.”

\-----

 The following day, Sascha followed Alan and Eric out of science class. “Al, can I talk to you for a moment please?”

 “Yeah, sure.”

 “Ah’ll see yer in English then.” Eric stated.

 “Where are you going … now?”

 “Fir a fag. See yer in a wee while.”

 “O … okay.” As Eric stepped away, Alan turned to Sascha. “What’s up?”

 “Rudgar tried to say sorry to me this morning before school.”

 “Oh?”

 “He said that he did not mean what he had said. That he really loves me but that he was just shocked that I was trans and hurt that I had not told him about it myself.”

 “And what did you say back to him?”

 “I called him a dick and punched him in the stomach. I doubt that I will be seeing him outside of lessons again.”

 “Why did you do that? He apologised?”

 “What is the point in him saying sorry after such a long time? He shouldn’t have said what he said in the first place. It really hurt my feelings.”

 “But he said that … he loved you ….”

 “I do not care and I do not trust his words anymore. If he tries to ask me out on a date or anything -.”

 “You’ll kick him … in the balls?”

 “Yep – well, a punch. I cannot lift my leg up that high.”

 “You do know that you’re scaring ever guy … in this school away from you.”

 “My ball punching skills should be celebrated.” Sascha giggled. “But … are you afraid of me?”

 “Nope. My crotch is safe … right?”

 Sascha winked at him. “For now, Al.”

 “Well … that really fills me with hope.”

\-----

 “So, any romance bloomin’ between y’ and Al yet?” Ronald asked as he plugged in his PlayStation.

 “No. Hur many times dae ah ‘ave tae tell yer tha’ ah dinnae wanna’ relationship?”

 “Y’ a tough nut ta’ crack, man. I think tha’ y’d make a really good couple.”

 “Maybe but ah dinnae want tae try tae begin wi’.”

 “Eh … fine. Y’ should invite him around ta’ my place.”

 “So yer can ge’ ‘im in bed?”

 “Na.” Ronald winked. “Not unless he wants me ta’. Tell him ta’ come over tomorrow wi’ y’.”

 “So he can watch us fuck? No thanks.”

 “Oh … yeah. Tell him ta’ come over at eight then. He can come over and play video games wi’ us then.”

 “Alright. Ah’ll dae tha’.”

\------

 Alan and Eric were currently writing up some work for science. “Eric?”

 “Aye?”

 “You … haven’t hurt yourself today … have you?”

 “Na.”

 “You’re not lying to … me … are you?”

 “No, ah’m naw.”

 “G … good.”

 “Yer really dae care aboot ma, don' yer?”

 “Of course I do. You’re … a good friend of mine now.”

 “Okay. Oh, tha’ reminds ma. Knoxxie wants yer tae come over tae his house tomorrow.”

 “W … why?”

 “So we can hang oat a wee bit.”

 “Oh … you’ll be there too?”

 “Aye.”

 “O … okay, I’ll come.”

 “Good. A’ll write ‘is address doon an’ yer can come oover aboot eight.”

 “Okay … then.”

\-----

 “Ahhh … fuck ….” Ronald groaned from his position straddling Eric. “I really … like ridin’ y’.”

 “Ah dinnae mind it ma’self.” Eric thrust up into him.

“Hnn ... bet y’ like it when … Al does tha’ too.” As if on cue, the doorbell rang. “Is … he here already?”

 “Guess so.” Eric looked at his watch. “It’s only half seven. Wha’ is he thinkin’?”

 “He probs jus’ wants ta’ see y’ sooner. He’s never been ta’ y’ house, has he?”

 “No an’ ‘es naw gunnae either.”

 “Why not?”

 “Ma mum’s scary.”

 “Then bring him over after school before she get’s home.” The doorbell rang again.

 “Ma bros are really annoyin’.”

 Ronald sighed. “Y’ jus’ don’t wanna’ let him ge’ any closer ta’ y’, do y’? Or are y’ worried tha’ Brody is goin’ ta’ say shit ‘bout y’ dad again in front of him?”

 Eric grunted at him. “Aye, Brody is a wee shite at times. Answer tha’ door already.”

 “But I’m enjoyin’ myself here.” Ronald whined.

 “Dinnae leave ‘im waitin’ in tha’ cald.”

 “So y’ do care ‘bout him.” Ronald grinned.

  “Ugh … ge’ oaf of ma dick already.”

 “Fine.” Ronald moved away from him and Eric threw the condom in the bin, tucking himself back into place.

 “Dinnae forge’ tae put some clothes on.”

 “Duh.”

\----

 As Ronald led Alan into his bedroom, Alan smiled softly at seeing Eric. “Oh … I was hoping you’d be here already.”

 Ronald flashed the tall teen a grin and then said “any good at playin’ video games, Al?”

 “I … I’m not bad.”

 “Great!”

 Almost an hour later, Ronald huffed. “Not bad, huh?”

 “Aye, ‘es won every fuckin’ round so far.” Eric stated.

 “I … it was just luck.” Alan reassured.

 “Luck ma’ arse.” Eric stood up. “Ah’m oaf for tonight anyway.”

 “Goin ta’ Grell’s?” Ronald asked.

 “Aye, fir half an hour anyway.”

 “Can I come too?” Alan asked.

 “No. She’s naw from school.” He paused for a moment. “Want ma tae walk yer home first?”

 Alan glanced away. _Why doesn’t he want to introduce me to his friends?_ “N … no, it’s fine.”

\-----

 The following dinner time, Sascha raced up to Alan and asked “have you seen Rudgar anywhere?!”

 “Umm … no, I thought that you didn’t want to see him anyway?” Sascha rubbed the top of his arm. “Sash, what’s the … matter?”

 “He tried to stick up for me. A gang of bullies had me surrounded and when he punched one of them, they dragged him off somewhere before I could stop them.”

 “Oh.”

 “I … I’m really worried about him!”


	18. They broke him.

 Sascha had raced off to go search for Rudgar before Alan could speak another word. As the brunette stood there contemplating his next move, he was tapped on the shoulder. "Alan, is it not?" Alan turned around, seeing Rudgar standing there, lip split and eye socket already beginning to bruise. His clothes were torn and bloody.

 "Rudgar, are ... you okay?"

 "I am fine. Have you seen Sash around? I think that you are his friend, aren't you?"

 "Yeah ... I am. He's looking for ... you right now."

 "Any way that you can phone him?"

 "Oh ... sure." Alan pulled out his phone.

 "And can you tell him to meet me by the front gates? I need to speak to him in private."

 "Okay ... no problem."

 Alan pressed on Sascha's contact icon and the phone began to ring. It was soon picked up, Sascha shrieking down the phone. "Al, you know that I am trying to find Rudgar! Do not -."

 "Rudgar's ... standing right next to me."

 "Oh! He is not hurt too badly, is he!?"

 "Not ... that I can see. He wants to meet you ... by the front gates of the school."

 "I'll be right there! Thank you, Al!"

\-----

 Sascha waited impatiently at the front gates, looking around himself for any sign of Rudgar. Seeing a figure limping towards him, he hurried towards it and saw that it was indeed Rudgar. His arms were soon thrown around the taller male. "Oh Rudgar, you had me worried!"

 "Are you okay, Sash? Those morons did not hurt you too badly before I managed to get there?" Rudgar asked.

 "Just a few smacks but I am fine. Why are you limping?" He pulled back to look at Rudgar. "And why are you holding your arm like that?"

 "I think that my arm is broken but I got a few good punches in myself. My leg - a sprain, I think."

 "Broken!? March yourself to the nurse right this instant! Or ... should I call an ambulance - what we're you thinking, trying to defend me like that!? There were too many of them for you to deal with!"

 "But I could not just let you get hurt! I ... I love you!"

 "I ... I love you too!" Sascha jumped against Rudgar again and squeezed him tightly, pulling back when he heard Rudgar wince. "S ... sorry. That arm must really be painful."

 "Yes."

 "Come with me to the nurse then!"

 "I need to tell you again how sorry I am first. What I said before was out of order. You are a man and ... I was being too narrow minded before. I really am sorry and I do love you so very much."

 "Oh, Rudgar!"

 "Ouch ... Sash, your hugs hurt right now."

 "S ... sorry."

\------

 As Alan got back from school, he received a phone call from Sascha. "Oh ... hey Sash. How is he?"

 "His mother just called me and his arm was broken. In two places! Those dicks! They are going to have no balls when I am through with them!"

 "Sascha, don't make ... things worse. If you ... do something, they will just ... retaliate and ... I don't want you to end up in the hospital too."

 "Oh and his rib was fractured! I ... hugged him also so I probably just made it worse."

 "Oh ... I'm surprised that he could ... still talk and walk with a broken rib."

 "Rudgar's mother said that it was more of a hairline crack and that his lung was not punctured or anything. He should be back at school soon. The arm that was broken is not his writing hand arm."

 "Oh. That's good. I hope that ... his rib heals up quickly."

 "And me! I am going to miss him but I will be doing the coursework with him at home anyway."

 "So you'll still get to see him, it's ... not so bad."

 "I guess."

 Alan rubbed his upper arm with his spare hand. "Just ... please don't ... try to fight them. I really don't want you ... getting hurt."

 "Oh no, they will probably be expelled anyway. They caught it all on CCTV camera. I just want to kill all of them, that is all."

 "Oh. That's good. I hope Andy ... gets thrown out."

 "Andy was not there and neither was ... oh what was his name - Keith?"

 "Yeah, Andy's ... best friend. That really sucks. I'd have ... liked to see them both ... be expelled. I'm ... just glad that Eric doesn't ... take part in that stuff anymore or ... he might have been in real ... trouble too."

 Sascha giggled. "You really do love him, don't you?"

\--------

 "They did wha' tae 'im!?" Eric shouted as soon as Alan had told him the news about Rudgar at Ronald's house.

 "Yeah ... broken bones. It's ... really awful." Alan replied.

 "Ah'm ... ah'm gunnae kill tha' lotta' 'em! A few punches is bad enough but they've taken this too far!"

 "Eric -."

 "Was it Andy!?"

 "N ... no. Whoever it was, they ... must have really ... gone all out because ... Andy is the strongest ... person in this school apart from you."

 "Ah ken tha'! Bastards tha' loot of 'em!"

 "Eric -."

 "Ah ... ah'm naw standin' fir this! Even if they ge' expelled, tha' rest of 'em can watch oat!"

 "W ... what are you saying exactly?"

 "Tha' ah'm naw jus' gunnae stick oop fir yer anymore. Yer, Sash, Rudgar - noon of 'em are gunnae ge' hurt on ma watch."

 "Oh." _He's going to ... try to protect all of us? Oh Eric, that's so sweet!_


	19. Testing.

 Eric and Alan left Ronald’s house sometime later, heading back to Alan’s as Eric didn’t go to Grell’s home every day.

 A large hand was slid around Alan’s as they walked, squeezing it gently. The brunette stared down at their intertwined hands. _What … is he ….?_ “E … Eric?”

 “Wha’ happened today dinnae shite yer oop too much, did it?” Eric asked.

 “What do you … mean?”

 “Wi’ wha’ happened tae Rudgar.”

 “Oh … I didn’t see him getting … beaten up.”

 “But yer saw tha’ state he was in after.”

 “No … I’m not shaken up, it’s … fine.”

 “Good. Ah promise, nothin’ will happen tae yer while ah’m aroond.”

 “I … know, Eric. I … I’m not scared.” The blonde stopped midstride, Alan pausing. “E … Eric?”

 “Ah’m glad tae hear it.” He turned his head, kissing Alan on the forehead. “Very glad.”

 _He … just kissed me … in public and … he’s holding my hand. Does … he really like me too?_ They walked the rest of the way home hand in hand.

\---------

 The following afternoon, Sascha knocked on the door of Rudgar’s home. After a short while, it was opened, Rudgar standing there with his one arm in a sling. “Oh … they had to put stitches in your lip?” Sascha asked.

 “Yeah, it was quite badly split.” He bent forward, giving Sascha a quick kiss on the lips before pulling away again.

 “You should not bend like that with a broken rib!”

 “It’s fine. I’m on quite strong pain killers right now.”

 “Oh … at least you are not in pain then.”

 “Yeah but they make me rather sleepy.”

 Sascha giggled. “Then I will come lie down next to you.”

 “Umm … the coursework?”

 “Oh, that can wait. We are way in front right now.”

 “No, I am the only one ahead. You need to write everything up.”

 “That can be done tomorrow then!” Sascha pouted at him. “Today is just for sleeping.”

 “Fine. I’m too tired to argue. Anyway … how was school? Did anyone hurt you today?”

 “The people who assaulted you have been suspended for now. They will probably get expelled soon.”

 “But what about Andy?”

 “Oh … he threw something at me in lesson but Eric threw a book at him for it so it is all very fine.”

 “Eric?”

 “The boy who used to beat Alan up but he is being nice now. He is sticking up for me and Alan. He will defend you too.”

 “Oh … Alan’s work partner?”

 “Yep, that is the one.”

 “I don’t need him to defend me.”

 “Rudgar -.”

 “But … if you feel safer, then I am happy.”

 Sascha crossed his arms over his chest. “I never felt unsafe, Rudgar. I will beat them up if they ever come back to the school.”

 Rudgar rolled his eyes. “Sure you will.”

 “Well … anyway, time for bed!”

 “Bed … sounds great right now.”

\-----

 Five weeks passed and Rudgar was about to go back to school, his rib having healed, though his arm still had some way to go. The boys at school who had assaulted him had indeed ended up being expelled.

 Alan and Eric were still sleeping together, though Alan really wished that Eric would ask him out already. Maybe he could soon work up the courage to ask the blonde teen out himself?

 Andy and his friend Keith had finally left Sascha and Alan alone, having received a punch from Eric anytime either of them hit the two or even called them any names.

 Alan was currently at his own home with Sascha, Eric moving into Ronald’s room. “How’s tha’ coursework gooin’?” Eric asked.

 “Well ….”

 “Well wha’?”

 “Ta’ be fair.” Ronald stated. “Me and Claude haven’t really been gettin’ much work done.”

 “Hur come?”

 “Too much shaggin’.” Claude would come over to Ronald’s after Alan and Eric left his house.

 “Oh, ah see. Hur does yerr arse naw hurt?”

 “Hey! Wha’ makes y’ jump ta’ conclusions and think tha’ I’m tha’ one bottomin’?”

 “Well … are yer?”

 “Yeah.”

 Eric shook his head. “Then why are yer moonin’ at ma?”

 “I’m jus’ messin’.” Ronald grinned. “I do ‘ave an idea though.”

 “What’s tha’?”

 “How’s ‘bout we ‘ave a threesome?”

 “Aye, ah’m up fir tha’ as long as he stays away froom ma arsehole.”

 “Awesome! We’re both goin’ ta’ tha’ clinic tha’ day after next -.”

 “Why?”

 “Gettin’ tested and stuff. Sick of usin’ condoms. Y’ can’t ge’ a good blowy wi’ a Johnny on.”

 “Aye, true tha’.”

 “Wanna’ come too?”

 “They’re naw gunnae swab ma arse, are they?”

 “Doubt it mate, y’ don’t let anythin’ up there anyway.”

 “True.”

 “Y’ gonna’ be alright wi’ havin’ a blood test if y’ need to though?”

 “Wha’ dae yer mean?” Eric frowned.

 “Y’ scars -.”

 “Hur did yer ken aboot tha’?!”

 Ronald lay down on the bed, arms resting behind his head. “Well … I’ve seen them when y’ sleeves roll up and stuff.”

 “Oh, well yer dinnae say anythin’.”

 “Why would I? It’d jus’ upset y, right?”

 “Aye … it would tha’.”

 “So ... still up for comin’?”

 “Aye … they’re naw gunnae see ma again anyway. Ah dinnae care wha’ they think. As long as they dinnae ask questions, ah’m fine.”

 “Now that’s wha’ I like ta’ hear!”

\-----

 Three weeks later, Eric finally got his results back from the blood test that was needed to check for HIV. All the other tests had come back clean. Later that day, when he was in Alan’s house, he said “Ah … was thinkin’ ….”

 “What … about?” Alan asked.

 “Ah went tae tha’ Gum clinic a wee while back an’ ma results were all negative. Wanna’ dae it wi’oat a condom? Ah ken tha’ yer don’ ‘ave anythin’.”

 “Oh … yeah sure.”

 “Yer dinnae ‘ave tae agree if yer dinnae wanna’. Ah still goat some in ma bag.”

 “No … no, it’s fine.” _He … got tested just for me? That’s … really sweet._

 “Sure?”

 “I’m … positive.”

 Eric moved onto the bed next to Alan, wrapping an arm around his middle. “Alright then. Wanna’ dae it now?”

 “I … I really do.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Underage people can get tested without their parents knowing in England.


	20. A nasty shock.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The bold italics may be a bit triggering. 
> 
> BL - the publishing company that dubs a lot of yaoi manga into English.

 Eric grabbed the lube, coating himself and then pushing Alan’s legs back. He pushed in slowly, Alan letting out a gasp. “Does tha’ hurt?” Eric asked.

 “No … no, why would it?”

 “’Cause wi’oat tha’ condom, there’s a wee bit more friction.”

 “It’s … fine.”

 “Ah used enough lube?”

 “Y … you did.” _This … is so much better. I can … really feel him._

 “Grand.” Eric began to thrust his hips in small circles, earning a small moan from Alan. “Ah really li’e dooin’ it bare.”

 “I … I like it too.” _There’s … more of a connection between us this way. Ah, what? I’m not in a friggin’ BL manga!_ Alan lay there making small noises for a while before he spoke again. “Hmm … Eric … can you kiss me?”

 “Aye, no bother.” Eric moved forward, pulling Alan’s legs around his waist and kissing him softly on the cheek.

 “On the … lips.”

 “Ah was gettin’ there, dinnae worry.” Eric chuckled, shifting his lips to Alan’s own.

 _Oh … this feel so … good._ Eric thrust against Alan’s spot and he moaned against his lips, muscles clenching around the blonde.

 Eric pulled away and buried his face in the pillow above Alan’s shoulder. “Hnn … Alan, yerr gunnae make ma come before yer.”

 “N … no, I’m already so … ahh … close.” His spot was pounded hard and he screamed out, releasing between them, whole body tensing from the force of his pleasure.

 Within a few moments, Alan felt Eric begin to soften within him. _He … he came inside. Ugh Alan … stop being so sappy._

 The blonde pulled out carefully. “Oh shite, tha’ was great.”

 “It … it really was.”

\-----

 At seven pm two days later, Eric was taken into Ronald’s room, where he saw Claude sitting on Ronald’s bed. “Oh … what’s Claude dooin’ ‘ere?”

 “Well … both of our tests came back clear too, so I thought tha’ we could ‘ave tha’ threesome today?”

 “Aye, why tha’ hell naw?”

 “Sweet!” Ronald reached up and kissed Eric, arms wrapping around his strong neck. Eric let his hand drift to his friend’s bottom, giving it a hard squeeze.

 “Do not forget about me.” Claude stated.

 Ronald pulled his lips away. “Sorry babe. How’s ‘bout we ge’ started?”

 “That would be an excellent idea.” He got off of the bed and moved closer to the other two teens, hands brushing Ronald’s shirt up. “Your body is fantastic, Ronald.” His lips latched onto the back of Ronald’s neck.

 “Thanks babe – ah … y’ really like ta’ suck hard, don’t y’?” Claude’s one hand moved under the front of his shirt, fingers pinching at his nipple. “Oh … y’ so rough.”

 “Yer li’e it tha’ way.” Eric stated as he began to unbutton Ronald’s trousers.

 “Fuck yeah I do!” His trousers were pulled down to his ankles as Eric got on his knees, hand reaching back up to do the same to his underwear. Eric licked his finger, pulling Ronald’s hips forward and sliding his digit inside of him. “Fuckin’ hell!” The blonde began to suck around Ronald’s tip before taking him fully into his mouth. “Ahhh … I’m really bein’ treated well today.”

 Claude moved to breathe in his ear. “That you are, Ronald, though this is just a mere taste of what is to come.”

 “Ah … don’t tease me like tha’!”

\-----

 Ronald was now lying on his back on the bed, hips raised on top of two pillows, Eric thrusting deeply into him, trousers pulled down to his mid thighs. Claude was at Eric’s side, watching the scene playing out. “Ah … fuck, Eric.” Ronald moaned. “Can really feel how thick and hard … hnn … y’ are wi’out tha’ rubber on.”

 “Cheers mate.”

 Claude licked his fingers, moving behind Eric and pushing two fingers deeply into him. “Does that please you?”

 Eric let out a gasp and Ronald caught the panicked expression that showed on the blonde’s face. “Umm … Claude, wha’ are y’ doin’?”

 “Just trying to prepare him for the pleasure that is about to come.” His fingers thrust into Eric.

 “Ah … ah ….” Eric began, his heart beginning to race. _This … can’t be happening. I need to tell him … to stop._ The blonde tried to voice his objections but all that came out was a horse breath.

 “Claude, stop it man.” Ronald stated. “Eric doesn’t like bottomin’.”

 “Oh? Has he ever tried it? He seems quite tight. I could make him weak at the knees.”

 “Yeah, he has and he really doesn’t like it so stop it already.”

 “Oh … my mistake. My apologies.” Claude removed his fingers and Eric let out a sigh of relief.

 “Y’ alright, buddy?” Ronald asked.

 Eric bent forward and hid his face in Ronald’s neck to hide the tears in his eyes, hips beginning to move forward again. “Thanks … mate.” He whispered.

 “No probs. Claude, come here and I’ll suck y’ off.”

 “Oh, how I do like the sound of that.”

\----

 It was almost time for Alan to arrive at Ronald’s house and Claude had gone to take a shower. “Man … Claude must ‘ave liked tha’ look of ya’ dick. He’s normally always tha’ one ta’ top me. I was surprised.” Ronald stated.

 “A … aye.”

 Ronald scratched the back of his head. “Sorry ‘bout wha’ happened earlier. It was kinda’ my fault. I forgot ta’ tell Claude tha’ ya’ didn’t like bottomin’.”

 “It’s alright.”

 “Are y’ alright though?”

 “Ah’m jus’ a wee bit shaken oop is all. Ah’ll be fine. Enjoyed every other part of tha’ threesome.”

 “O … okay. So … I’ve been wonderin’ somethin’.”

 “Aye, wha’ is tha’?”

 “Y’ probably gonna’ hit me for askin’ this.”

 “No, ma violent days are oover.”

 “Alright. Why … can y’ give blowjobs when y’ dad … ya’ know?”

 Eric blinked at him. “Simple. They’re naw ‘alf as painful.”

 “Oh … okay. Did I cross a line?”

 “Aye but yerr naw as noisy as someun else. Jus’ droop it now and it’s fine.”

 “Alright.” Ronald checked the time on the clock on his nightstand. “Al’s not here yet.”

 “Aye, hur oodd. Ah should goo an’ see if ‘e’s alright.”

 “Yeah. Same time tomorrow?”

 “Aye, sounds grand.”

\-----

 Claude came back out of the shower and sat down on the bed. “Y’ really shouldn’t ‘ave done tha’.” Ronald stated.

 “And by ‘that’, you are referring to?”

 “Stickin’ y’ fingers up Eric wi’out askin’.”

 “Oh. I really didn’t think that it would bother him. We were having a threesome after all.” He paused. ”But maybe I should apologise to him for saying what I said.”

 “Wha’?”

 “Telling him that I would make him weak at the knees.”

 “Jus’ apologise for tha’ finger thing – actually no, jus’ don’t do it again and don’t bring it up either.”

 “Hmm. I do wonder. Did he have a bad experience with receiving?”

 “Yeah … y’ could say tha’. A really bad one.”

 “I see. Now I feel rather guilty.”

 “Meh, it’s done wi’ now. Jus’ leave it at tha’.”

 “Very well, I will do that.”

\----

 Eric was about half way to Alan’s house now, his legs feeling wobbling under him. **_“Dad, stoop it!” The eight year old shouted as he felt two fingers being shoved into him. “It fuckin’ hurts!”_**

**_“Good. This is nothing yet.” The man pulled them away quickly and flipped his son on his front._ **

**_“Dad, wha’ tha’ fuck dae think– aghh!”_ **

 Eric’s head began to spin. _Ugh … I don’t feel so good. I can’t … keep being such a pussy. I shouldn’t be letting this get to me._ Eric found a lamppost and braced his hand against it, heaving. He’d kept his terror hidden from the two other teens quite well early. His legs shook as bile splattered onto the pavement a foot in front of his shoes.

 Groaning, he stood back up straight and wiped his mouth before composing himself and finishing his journey to Alan’s home. He knocked on the door. _I wonder if he’s alright. It’s not like him to not show up._ The door was answered after a little while, Alan staring at him. “Y … you look really unwell, Eric. You’re … so … pale.”

 “Ah … jus’ think tha’ ah ‘ave a cold or somethin’. Yer alright?”

 “I … don’t feel so well either. My asthma is … flaring up … a bit again so I didn’t … think it was a good idea … to walk to Ronnie’s on my own.”

 “Yer taken yerr inhaler?”

 “I … have. It’s help a bit.”

 “Ahhh … great. Anythin’ tha’ ah can dae fir yer?”

 “Can … I just have a hug?”

 “Aye, ah think tha’ I can manage tha’.” Eric stepped into the house and shut the door behind himself, hugging Alan gently. “Better?”

 “Much … better. Thank you, Eric.”


	21. A bad idea.

 Alan and Eric lay cuddled up in bed, Eric listening to Alan’s breathing. “Yer sound kinda’ wheezy, babe. Yer alright?”

 “My … chest does … feel a bit tight again. Can you … please get me my inhaler?”

 “Aye, where is it?”

 “Downstairs … on the coffee table in the … living room.”

 “Ahhh, alright.” Eric got out of bed.

 “Oh … and Eric ….”

 “Aye?”

 “It’s the blue one that … I need, not the purple.”

 “No bother.”

 Eric was quickly back upstairs, handing the inhaler to Alan. “T … thank you.” Alan sat up in bed and pulled the cap from the device. It was placed between his lips, Alan slowly inhaling the two puffs one after another. The cap was pushed back into place and the inhaler placed on the nightstand.

 “Tha’ all better?” Eric asked.

 “Hmm … yeah. My … chest feels less tight now.”

 “Grand. Any idea wha’ made yerr asthma flare oop again? Taken any new medication?”

 “N … no. It … does flare up for no reason at times. I started feeling … a bit breathless in PE earlier.”

 “Oh … okay. Wanna’ cuddle again?”

 “I … do.”

 “Awesome.” Eric crawled back under the covers, pulling Alan close and kissing his head.

 “Y … you still … don’t look very well, Eric.”

 “Ah’ll be fine, jus’ a wee cold or somethin’.”

 “O … okay, if you’re … sure.”

 “Aye, ah am.”

 “O … okay. Can I ask … you something?”

 “Depends wha’ it is.”

 “Umm … it’s about why you … became a bully.”

 “Wha’?”

 “You … never really gave me a proper explanation. All you ever said … was that Andy made you … or that I wouldn’t understand why.”

 “It dinnae matter. It’s all jus’ stoopid anyway.”

 “No … no it’s not. You … really hurt me and … I’d like to know the reasons.”

 “Why? It’s all in tha’ past now.”

 “Because … I ….”

 “Yer wha’?”

 Alan’s voice fell to a whisper. “I … wondered … if you used to hate me … for some reason. That’s why … I’d like – I need to know.”

 “Ah dinnae hate yer, never ever. Yer were jus’ an ‘asy targe’.”

 Alan’s words made Eric gulp. “Why … did you have … to pick on the weak, Eric? That was … really mean.”

 “Ah ken it is! Gah, shut yerr trap already!”

 “N … no. Why … did you decide to pick on … someone like me? You … probably weigh twice as much as me. It was never … a fair fight.”

 “Alan -.”

 “I need to know! What were … you thinking?!”

 “Ah … wasn’t … naw really.”

 “You must have had some reason. I … don’t think that you’re a bad person really and … that’s why I think that you had a real reason. You … didn’t just do it for fun, I … know that much.”

 “Ah dinnae ken wha’ yer wanna’ hear from ma.”

 “The truth!”

 Eric’s mouth hung open for a moment, before he sighed. “Ah … did it ‘cause ah were scared.”

 “Scared of what?”

 “Tha’ if ah dinnae hurt someone, people would think it okay tae hurt ma.”

 “That doesn’t … make any sense, why would you – oh … because of what your … dad did to you?”

 “Aye, exactly. Stoopid, right?”

 “N … no, it’s not. Y … you wanted to … protect yourself.”

 “Aye but it don’ make it right, does it?”

 “N … no but you stopped and … well, I kind of … understand why now.”

 “Gad. Yer hate ma?”

 “N … no, I could … never hate you. Your … dad must have really … messed with your mind.”

 “Aye, he did.” _And other parts of me._ “Can we goo raid tha’ fridge again?”

 “I’ve upset you … by bringing him up, haven’t I?”

 “Aye, yer did but ah guess tha’ yer had a right tae ken.”

 “O … okay. Are you mad at me?”

 “No, naw at all. Food?”

 “A lot of food, yeah.” Alan smiled softly.

\----

 Three weeks passed and Eric was currently at Ronald’s. He pulled away from his friend and lay down on the bed, Ronald snuggling up to him. “Yer goat a thing fir ma or somethin’?” Eric asked.

 “Na. I tend ya’ cuddle up wi’ Claude after we fuck and I’ve jus’ got used ta’ doin’ it.”

 “Come ‘ere then.” Eric turned over, wrapping an arm around Ronald’s waist. “Yer like tha’?”

 “Yeah, it’s brill. Y’ nice and warm.”

 “Aye, ah ‘spose ah am.”

 “So ….” Ronald began.

 “Wha’? Whenever yer say tha’, yer always ‘ave some sort of new sex thing in mind.”

 “I do tha’. Want Al ta’ join in wi’ our threesomes?”

 “Ah dinnae think tha’ ‘e’d be oop fir tha’.”

 “Can’t hurt ta’ ask him, can it? There’s no pressure or anythin’ but tha’ offer is there if he wants ta’.”

 “But ‘e’s never met Claude.”

 “We can jus’ do it wi’ tha’ three of us for tha’ first time. If he enjoys it, I can ask if he’ll le’ Claude join in.”

 Eric sighed. “Well, alright. It cannae hurt tae ask but ah already ken tha’ ‘e’s’ gunnae say no.”

 “Meh, he might surprise y’.”

 “Aye, ah’d be shocked if he agreed.”

\-----

 That night, as Eric and Alan were getting ready for bed, Eric spoke. “Erm … so Ronnie wanted ma tae ask yer somethin’.”

 “What’s that?” Alan’s hand lifted to his glasses but quickly dropped back onto his lap when Eric spoke again.

 “He wants tae ken if yer oop fir a threesome.”

 “A … a what?!”

 “Aye, ah ken. Weird idea.”

 “With … me, you and Ronnie?”

 “Aye.”

 “Oh.” _Has … he been sleeping with … Ronnie too?! I … I want to ask him but I really don’t …want to know the answer._ Alan gulped.

 “It’s jus’ an idea. No un’s sayin’ tha’ yer goota’. It’s oop tae yer.”

 _I … I don’t want to but … if I don’t, Eric … will probably just sleep with him anyway. I … I don’t want him to do that and … I want Eric to love me … already. It makes me feel … sick to think of them … doing that alone together. I … I’m going to … have to …._ “I’m … okay with … that.”

 “Eh … really?”

 “Y … it … sounds like fun. I really … am fine with … it.” _Not._

 “Alright then. Hur’s tomorrow sound fir yer?”

 “Tomorrow … would be great.” _Oh … no. I don’t … like this. I don’t … like this at all!_


	22. A really, really bad idea.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> This chapter was really hard to write, as Eric and Ronald don't know that Alan doesn't want to go through with this.

 The following day, Alan knocked on the door to Ronald’s home. _Maybe … they’ve forgotten about this … threesome deal._ It was soon answered, the two tone haired teen standing in front of him. “Hey Al.”

 “Hi.”

 “Come on in.”

 Once up in the bedroom, Eric looked up at the brunette. “Ah told Ronnie aboot tha’ threesome.”

 “O … okay.”

 “Still up for it?” Ronald asked.

 “I … I am.” Alan answered, the pit of his stomach turning.

 “Now?”

 “O … okay.”

 “Sweet.”

 Eric was the first to move close to Alan, lips pressing softly against the brunette’s. As his tongue slid into Alan’s mouth, the smaller man let out a soft moan. _I … I’m getting hard … already._ Ronald was soon behind him, lips attaching to the back of Alan’s neck, hand moving to Alan’s belt. It was quickly unbuckled and pulled away, Ronald dipping his hand into Alan’s underwear.

 Eric pulled away from the kiss, fingers unbuttoning Alan’s jeans. They were soon pulled down along with his underwear and Ronald’s hand slid to Alan’s bottom. “Wanna’ bottom?”

 “Yeah … sure.” _I knew that … I’d probably be the one taking … it anyway._

 “Awesome. Eh … Eric, where did I put tha’ lube?”

 “Same place yer always leave it?” Eric replied. “Bottom drawer.”

 Alan had to hold back a gasp. _Eric … has been sleeping with him. I … I knew it._

 Ronald went to retrieve the lube, coating his fingers and then drawing closer to Alan again. His fingers were coated and rubbed against Alan’s entrance as Eric got onto his knees, taking Alan into his hand and pumping his slowly.

 “Hmm … Eric. A finger slipped inside of him. “A … ahh.” The digit began to slide in and out of Alan as Eric took him into his mouth, sucking around his tip. “Hnn … ahhh.”

 “Damn Al, y’ a lil’ cutie.” Ronald stated.

 “T … thanks.”

\------

 Three fingers were pulled from Alan, the small teen moaning softly at the wetness around his member. “Al, can I go bear? I’ve been tested and all tha’.” Ronald asked.

 “O … okay.” Within a few moments, Alan’s hips were held onto, a lubed cock pushing into him. “Ah … oh ….”

 “Feel good?”

 “Y … yes.” _It … actually does. I … I’ll just focus on the feeling. I can … pretend that it’s … Eric doing … this to me._ Ronald started to thrust deeply into him. “Ah … hnnn.” _I’m … getting close already._ Eric moved his mouth forward, taking Alan to the back of his throat. “Ah … E … Eric.”

 Ronald’s hand slid up Alan’s top, fingers rubbing against his nipple. “Y’ proper tight, babe.”

 “T … thanks.” Ronald picked up speed, cock brushing against Alan’s spot. “Oh … fuck!”

 “There?”

 “Y … yes.” Another quick thrust caught him in the right area and he cried out sharply, head falling back and toes curling in his shoes. “I … I’m -.” He came hard, muscles clenching around Ronald and causing him to groan.

 Eric swallowed and pulled back, tongue licking Alan’s tip clean. “I got an idea.” Ronald beamed. “Al, y’ ever topped before?”

 “N … no.”

 “Ah like where this is gooin’.” Eric stated.

 “Yeah, wanna’ top me?”

 “You … want me to top … you?” Alan asked.

 “Yep.” Ronald replied.

 “I – o … okay, I can … try.” _Eric … seems to like that idea. It’ll make … him happy._

 “Awesome!” Ronald pulled out and kicked his jeans and underwear off, bending over the bed. “Eric, y’ know wha’ I’m gettin’ at?”

 “Aye.”

 “W … what … is it?” Alan asked. Eric stood up and whispered in Alan’s ear. “Oh … but the height difference?”

 “Ah’ll jus’ bend ma knees.”

 “Oh … sure, okay.” _At … least he’ll be the one … inside me this time._

 ------

 Alan now had his clothes taken off, Eric pushing inside of him from his position standing behind him. “E … Eric … hmm.” His member was stroked lightly by Eric’s hand, making him instantly hard. It was then coated with lube, Eric dropping the bottle to the floor with his other hand. “Umm … Ronnie … fingers?”

 “It’s all cool babe, I like it rough.”

 “Oh … okay.” Eric’s hand helped to guide Alan into place as Ronald moved his hips back, sinking around Alan. “Ah … ooohhh ….” _This … feels really good._ Alan’s shaky hand held onto Ronald’s hips as Eric’s thrusting pushed Alan in deeper. His hips began to buck forward of their own accord. “Oh … oh … s … shit.”

 “Feel … good … hnn … babe?” Ronald asked between his own moans.

 “R … really good.”

 Ronald began to move against Alan, hand shifting down to stroke himself. “Ahh … fuck, that’s good.” He let out another grunt. “Yeah … right there.”

 The door was pushed open, Claude coming into the room. Ronald had given him a spare house key. “Well, I seem to be missing out on all the action.”

 Eric turned to look at him. “Then jus’ watch.”

 “Eric, that’s mean.” Ronald stated. “He can join in if it’s alright … wi’ Al.”

 “Al?”

 _But … I don’t even … know him very well. But … Eric … will probably think I’m -._ “I … I don’t mind.”

 “Yer sure?”

 “Y … yes.”

 “Alright. Claude, yer can join in oon tha’ next roound.”

 “How lovely.”

\-----

 Alan found himself on his hands and knees on the bed, Claude pounding into him. Eric was lying below him, tongue lapping around his cock as Ronald did the same to him. “Nnn ….” _He … he’s being … too rough._ “Eric … what … time is it?”

 Ronald was the first to answer, mouth pulling away from Eric. He eyed the clocked on the nightstand. “8.53, why?”

 “I … need to … go after this round.” _I need to ... get out of here._

 Eric also pulled away. “Fir wha’?”

 “Sascha … wanted me to … go to visit at his house. Nnn … I forgot … to … ahh … tell you, sorry.”

 “Aye, no bother. Want ma tae come wi’ yer?”

 “N … no. You … nnn … seem to be … having – ahhh – fun.”

 “Yes, we will take good care of him, do not worry.” Claude stated.

 “Ah can come wi’ yer, it’s fine.”

 “N … no, Sash … wanted to … speak to me … ohh … on his own.”

 “Alright then, no bother.”

\-----

 The door to Alan’s home was slammed shut, Alan sliding down the door in fits of sobs. _I … I didn’t … enjoy that … last part at all. I didn’t … even know that guy._ The force of his cries wracked his tiny body. _I … feel dirty. He wasn’t … even a friend and I let him – I … I just feel so dirty. I … never want to do that again. I … just want Eric. He’s … the only person … I want._ Alan wrapped his arms around his knees and rested his face against them, body rocking back and forth. _I … just want him to … love me._


	23. But y' love him, don't y'?

 At around 9.30pm that night, there was a knock at Alan’s door. The brunette checked himself in the mirror, _I don’t look like I’ve been crying,_ and then walked downstairs to answer it. He was met with a smiling Eric. “Hey babe.”

 “Hi.”

 “Somethin’ tha’ matter? Is Sascha alright?”

 _Oh … yeah, I told Eric that I … was going to see him._ “No … everything’s fine. He’s … okay, just needed help with a bit of his coursework.”

 “Ahh, alright.” Eric pecked Alan on the head. “Enjoy tha’ three – foursome?”

 _Oh … crap. W … what do I say?!_ “It … was alright.”

 “Sweet.”

 “Did … you enjoy yourself?”

 “Aye, ah did.”

 “G … good.”

 “We really need tae ge’ some coursework done, don’ we?”

 “Yeah … we do. We’ve fallen behind.”

 Eric’s arm looped around Alan’s waist, pulling the brunette to his chest. “That’s naw jus’ ma fault now, is it?”

 “N … no, we’ve been … busy doing other things.”

 “Aye, we ‘ave tha’.”

\------

 That night, as the two were cuddled up in bed, Eric asked “Al, if yer enjoyed yerrself so much earlier, wanna’ dae it again tomorrow?”

 “The … foursome?”

 “Aye.”

 “O … okay.” _N … no, I thought that … it would just be … a one off. W … what I … going to do now?!_

 “Grand. Ronnie’s naw bad in bed, is he?”

 “He … he’s okay.” _At least he didn’t … hurt me like that … other guy did._

 “Jus’ okay? Am ah better?”

 “Y … you are.”

 “Now tha’ is a complimen’. Don’ tell ‘im tha’ though, ‘e’ll ge’ jealous.”

 “I … I won’t.”

\------

***The next day***

 Sascha and Alan sat in the library during break time, Sascha flicking through a German to English dictionary. “Al, what is the word -,” he paused when he saw Alan holding his face in his hands, “Al, what is wrong?”

 “It … it’s nothing.”

 A hand was yanked away from his face. “Do not tell me that. You are crying right now. There must be something that is upsetting you.”

 “Nothing … it’s … stupid.”

 “Did that dick Eric do something to you?”

 “N … not exactly.”

 “Not exactly? What is that supposed to mean? He either upset you or he did not.”

 “It’s … complicated.”

 Sascha shut his book. “That does not matter. We still have twenty minutes left before our break ends, so you have a lot of time to explain it all.”

 “I don’t want to … talk about it.”

 “That is a shame because I will not stop asking until you tell me.”

 “O … okay.”

 “Then what is it?”

 “I … I feel … dirty.”

 “Dirty? Then go shower, you smelly -.”

 “D … dirty inside.”

 “Oh … why?”

 “I … had ….” Alan sniffed. “Had … a foursome … with Eric and his … friends.”

 “You did what?!” The librarian shot Sascha a disapproving look. “W … why would you do that?”

 “Eric … asked me to.”

 “So he made you?”

 “N … no, it … wasn’t like that.”

 “Then if you wanted to do it, why are you getting upset?”

 “Because … I didn’t … want to do it.”

 “So he did force you.”

 “No … no. I … I just couldn’t … say no.”

 “Why not?”

 “B … because I didn’t … want to upset – I … I don’t really know.”

 “I hate this.” Sascha stated.

 “H … hate what?”

 “You are changing because of him and I do not like it.”

 “No, I -.”

 “You are! You are like some love sick puppy and it makes me sick. If he told you to jump from a cliff, you would even do that.”

 “I ….”

 “Stand up for yourself. Tell him that you will not do things that you do not want to do.”

 “I … I kind of already … agreed to do it again today.”

 “Well you tell him that you have changed your mind. If he does not understand, then he really is the dick I thought that he was.”

 “But … I don’t want to … upset him.”

 “Well tough. He does not love you, Alan. If he did, he would not be using you like this.”

 “H … he isn’t using … me.”

 “Yes he is. He is using you as a fuck toy and it makes me sick. Why can you not see that?”

 “I ….”

 “Just tell him that you have had enough. If he gets upset, he is not worth keeping around.”

 “I – okay … I’ll try.”

 “You will do more than try. If you do not put him straight, I will deal with him.”

 Alan nodded slowly. “O … okay, I’ll tell him.” _But … what if I end up losing him? I … I don’t want that either._

_\-----_

 Ronald walked to the back of the field, finding Eric smoking a cigarette against the metal fence. “Thought I’d find y’ here.”

 “Aye.”

 “Can I pinch y’ lighter?”

 “Aye, no bother.” Eric handed it over.

 “So … did Al enjoy himself yesterday?”

 “Aye an’ he said tha’ he wanted tae dae it again today.”

 “Ah … sweet. But y’ know somethin’?”

 “Wha’?”

 “Y’ in love wi’ him, aren’t y’?”

 “Eh? No, ‘course naw.”

 “I saw how y’ was wi’ him yesterday. Y’ couldn’t ge’ enough of him.”

 “Aye, ‘cause ‘es cute an’ he makes some nice sounds.”

 “But I’ve seen tha’ way y’ look at him.”

 “Look at ‘im? Ah see ‘im in tha’ same way tha’ ah see yer, as jus’ a friend.”

 “Don’t be stupid. Y’ love him and I know it.”

 “No, yer dinnae be stoopid. Ah dinnae love ‘im. Never will love anyone and yer ken tha’.”

 “Then what if he says tha’ he loves y’?”

 “Pfft. Then ‘e’s as stoopid as yer are.”

 “So y’ wouldn’t like it if he did?”

 “Hah, ah’d run a fuckin’ mile. Love’s naw fir ma an’ yer ken tha’.”

 “Stop comparin’ people ta’ y’ dad. Al wouldn’t hurt y’.”

 Eric sighed. “Ah’m naw gettin’ close enough tae find oat.”

 “Bit late for tha’, mate.”


	24. The last chance at love.

 Alan let out a groan as Claude pushed inside him, thrusting roughly into him from the first motion. “Nnn ….” He was lying on his back, legs pushed far back. Eric moved in to kiss him, tongue sliding between his lips, hand stretched back to pump Ronald harshly.

_Owww … it … hurts. It … really hurts._

_\-----_

 The following morning, Sascha raced up to Alan as he was about to enter the school. “Al, did you tell Eric to stop dragging you into sexual things?”

 “I … I did.” _I … feel bad for lying but … he’d … just have a go at Eric if I didn’t._

 “Oh, and how did he take it? Badly?”

 “N … no. He was … understanding.”

 “Are you still going to sleep with him?”

 “I … I don’t know.”

 Sascha sighed. “Either tell him how you feel or stop letting him drag you to bed. You are the only one who is going to be hurt at the end of this if you do not.”

 “I … I know.”

 “So do it already!”

 “O … okay.”

\------

 It was now almost the beginning of the final school year. The remainder of the previous year and the six week holiday had passed by as a blur of sex and sweaty skin for Alan. He was miserable to say the least.

 At present, he was at Ronald’s home. The two tone haired teen pulled something from his wardrobe. “They finally let me buy somethin’ from Ann Summers.”

 “Wha’ yer goat there?” Eric asked.

 “Nipple clamps.”

 “Ahhh … nice. Let’s stick them on Alan.”

 Ronald grinned. “Wha’ do y’ say, Al? Wanna’ try somethin’ kinky?”

 “Umm … no, I’m not into … kink.”

 “Guess we’re puttin’ them oon yer.” Eric stated, looking over at Ronald.

 “Sounds good ta’ me.”

 Sometime later, Alan watched Eric pinch the clamps as he pounded into Ronald, the smaller teen moaning loudly. “Ah … fuckin’ hell, Rik!”

 “Such a foul mouth.” Claude stated, hand slipping down Alan’s chest. “Maybe we should gag him.”

 “Aye, grand idea.”

_N … no, I don’t … want to keep seeing him … doing things to other people. It … it always makes me feel sick._

_\------_

 The following day was the first day of term and Sascha met Alan outside of the school. He took in Alan’s appearance. “Al … have you lost weight?”

 “I’m not … sure.”

 “Have you been eating enough? You know that with your condition, you have to eat a lot of food.”

 “I … I’ve been too busy.” _And … too depressed. Comfort eating … doesn’t even help so … there’s no point._

 “Busy doing what?” Alan turned away, letting out a sniff. “Al?”

 “T … things.”

 “Are you … still sleeping with Eric?”

 “Y … yeah.”

 “But you said that you had stopped! Are you still sleeping with the other people too!?” Alan didn’t reply. “You have been, haven’t you?!”

 “Y … yes.”

 “Why did you lie to me?!” He grabbed hold of Alan’s shoulder, turning him back around to face him. “I thought that we were friends? Friends do not lie to each other!”

 “I … I’m sorry.”

 “You go and find Eric now and tell him that enough is enough!”

 “No … I ….”

 “You look so miserable! Love should not make you feel this way.”

 “I know but … I’m scared to … ask him to … date me.”

 “Then just stop talking to him!”

 “I … I can’t. I … I’m his coursework partner.”

 “So? You can always get most of it done alone and just see him in lessons.”

 “I … I’ll tell Ronnie … that I don’t … want to do it anymore.”

 “This is not Ronnie’s fault! I like that boy and it is Eric that has a hold on you.”

 “Why are you so … against Eric when … Ronnie is a part of this too?”

 “Because you are not following Ronnie around like a little slave. Ronnie is a nice boy and he obviously does not know how you are feeling.”

 “But … neither does Eric.”

 “That is why you need to tell him! He is obviously too stupid to know that you are upset. He should know. He is the one who spends the most time with you.”

 “But -.”

 “I will find him now then. He will not have a dick to fuck you with when I am done with him.” Sascha turned away from Alan but Alan grabbed his arm.

 “No … don’t do anything. P … please.”

 He let out a grunt. “Then you will tell him today. Tomorrow, I will tell him regardless. This is your last chance.”

 “O … okay.”

 “And if you continue to act like this and lie to me, we cannot be friends anymore.”

 “W … what? Why? I … I’m sorry for lying to you.”

 “I can forgive you for lying but I cannot keep seeing you in this mess. It hurts me too, do you not understand?”

 “W … why does it -?”

 “Because I care about you!”

 “O … oh.”

 Sascha ripped his arm away. “Just tell … him sometime today. This is your last warning.”

 If anything, Alan felt somewhat relieved. This would finally be over, somehow.

\------

 At 8pm that night, there was a knock on Alan’s door. It was soon answered, Eric standing there with a look of worry on his face. “Alan, yer alright?”

 “Y … yes.”

 “Yer dinnae turn oop at Ronnie’s. Naw feelin’ well?”

 “I … I feel okay.”

 “Alright then. Come on then.” He smiled. “Yer ken tha’ Claude hates bein’ kept waitin’.”

 “E … Eric ….”

 “He brough’ a gag too. Cannae wait fir Ronnie tae be all gagged an’ tied oop.”

 Alan’s hands clenched at his side. _I wish you … wouldn’t say things like that. I don’t want to see … you keep fucking him. I’m … sick of this._ “I’m not going!”

 Eric blinked at him for a moment. “Eh … alright then.”

 “I’m never doing those … those things again!”

 “Why are yer gettin’ so oopset?”

 “Because I hate this! You keep … making me do things that … I don’t want to do.” A tear slipped from Alan’s eye.

 “Ah never made yer dae anythin’.”

 “Y … you did.”

 Eric scowled at him. “No, ah dinnae!”

 “You’re just using … me for sex!”

 “Usin’ yer? Wha’ tha’ fuck are yer on aboot?”

 “I’m … just another … fuck … toy to you.”

 “A fuck toy? ‘Ave yer lost yer mind or somethin’?”

 Alan stared up at him. “D … don’t you … understand, Eric? I … I’m … in love with you. I did all of … those disgusting things because I love you!”


	25. Bust ups.

 A loud laugh pierced the air, Eric moving a hand to hold his stomach. “Hah … that’s funny!”

 “E … Eric -.”

 “That’s a gad un!”

 “I … I’m not joking.” Alan stated.

 “Eh? ‘Couse yer are.”

 “I mean it!”

 Eric’s laughs died instantly. “Yer goota’ be kiddin’ ma.”

 “N … no.” Eric turned around quickly, hand reaching for the key in the door. “E … Eric … where are you … going?”

 “Home.”

 “W … why?”

 “’Cause ah dinnae wanna’ hear this shite.”

 “Eric -.”

 “Ah dinnae love yer.”

 “So you were just using me!”

 “Hur exactly was ah usin’ yer? Yer were tha’ un who wanted tae fuck tae begin wi’. Don’ blame ma fir this.”

 “So I’m nothing to you?!”

 “Yer was jus’ a mate but if yerr gonna’ sprout this shite, ah dinnae wanna’ ken.”

 “Y … you’re disgusting.”

 Eric turned around again. “Excuse ma?”

 “I said that you’re disgusting! Y … you just used me for … sex and foursomes … and -.”

 “Ah dinnae! Yer li’ed fuckin’ jus’ as much as ah did!”

 “- And now you’re just throwing me away!”

 “If yer dinnae wanna’ dae it, yer should ‘ave jus’ said somethin’.”

 “But … I felt … pressured.”

 “Well ah certainly wasn’t tha’ un tae pressure yer. Ah asked yer time an’ time again if yer wan’ed tae dae it. Naw ma fault tha’ yer decided tae lie tae ma.” The blonde spun around again, opening the door with haste. “Ah’m done listenin’ tae this dribble. Don’ expect ma tae be comin’ over again.” He left the house, slamming the door behind him.

 Alan was left in the hallway to collapse onto his knees. “H … how can you … be so cruel …?”

\------

 “Love ma arse.” Eric mumbled as he walked down Alan’s street. _Fuck him, I don’t need all of this blame. Haven’t I got enough to deal with without his shite on top? Stupid brat._

 Eric stopped as he neared the island at the bottom of the road. _What do I do now? I could go to Grell’s – I can’t be bothered._ With a sigh, he turned around and took a side street, heading home.

 Ten minutes later, he pushed the key into the lock of his door and opened it, stepping inside. His mother quickly appeared in the hallway. “Yer home early.”

 “Aye, ah ken.”

 “Naw gooin’ tae yer boyfriend’s tonight?”

 “’E’s naw ma boyfriend.”

 “Oh.”

 “Yer thought tha’ he was?”

 “Well yer dae spend every night oover there. Wha’ was ah ‘spose tae think?”

 “Don’ ken.” Eric barged passed her and took to the stairs.

 “If yer came home fir dinner, yer too late. It’s all goon.”

 “Ah’m naw hungry anyway.”

 Eric stomped up to his bedroom and entered the room, flopping down on his bed. _Love? Really? Heh … what a dick head._ He gritted his teeth. _Stupid … fucking liar._

_\------_

 Alan finally managed to compose himself enough to pull out his phone and dial Sascha’s number. He pressed it to his ear and in two rings, Sascha answered. “Al, why are you calling so late? Is everything okay?”

 “N … no. Can I … come over to yours?” Alan asked.

 “It is a little late and it cannot be safe outside at this time of night.”

 “I don’t … care about that. Can I come?”

 “Okay but get a taxi or something.”

 “I … I don’t … have the money on me for … that.”

 “Then I will come over to your house with Rudgar.”

 “N … no. I need some … fresh air anyway.”

 “Do not be silly, you -.”

 Alan ended the call and then switched his phone off, grabbing his shoes and coat. He was soon at Sascha’s house, knocking on the door.

 An angry looking Sascha answered. “What were you thinking?! It is -.” He took in Alan’s puffy eyes. “Oh … what has that dick done to you now?!”

 “C … can I come in?”

 “No, you will tell me what happened first.”

 “Sash … please.”

 He huffed, “fine,” and moved aside for Alan to enter. As soon as Alan was in the hallway, Sascha shut the door and turned to him. “Tell me now.” Alan took in a shaky breath before he explained what was said at his house. “I told you that he did not love you.”

 “That … isn’t … helping.”

 He moved forward, arms wrapping around Alan’s back. “Does this?”

 “Y … yeah.”

 “It is not all bad, Al. At least he is out of your life now and you can be happy again.”

 “I … I know.” Alan breathed shakily. _I’ve … never felt so … devastated in all of my … life.”_


	26. I feel like shite.

 The following day, science class began. Mr Corby shot daggers at Eric. “Slingby, move to your appointed place next to Alan.”

 “Dinnae wanna’.” Eric crossed his arms over his chest.

 “Do you want detention?”

 “Na.”

 “Then move.”

 One of Eric’s ex friends spoke up. “What’s the matter, Slingby? Fallen out with your boyfriend?”

 Eric grunted at him. “Fuck yer!”

 Alan turned to look at him. _Eric … please don’t make a scene._

 Corby slammed his board eraser down on the desk. “Move now or a weeks’ detention!”

 “Aye … fine then.” Eric got to his feet and swapped seats with the student who was next to Alan. “Dinnae bother tae talk tae ma.”

 “O … okay.” Alan looked away. _This … is really awkward. He … obviously hates me._

_\-----_

 That night, Ronald pulled a face. “Shit … he really didn’t wanna’ do it?”

 “Aye, ah cannae believe it either.” Eric sighed.

 “I … feel proper guilty now. I had no fuckin’ clue tha' …he was feeling like tha'.”

 “Ah dinnae. Naw ma fault that tha’ wee shite decided tae lie tae us.”

 “Yeah … but still.”

 “It was ‘is choice, so shoot oop aboot it!”

 “But … why would he do tha’ if he didn’t want ta’?”

 “Ahhh … he said tha’ it was ‘cause he loved ma. Stoopid shite.”

 Ronald sighed. “I did tell y’ tha’ he did.”

 “Aye, ah ken.”

 “So … that’s why ….”

 “Why wha’?” Eric frowned at him.

 “I thought tha’ it was kinda’ weird tha’ y’ wasn’t wi’ him at all today. Y’ normally always around him at tha’ start of lessons. So … y’ fucked him off, right?”

 “Wha’ dae yer mean?”

 “Y’ don’t want anythin’ ta’ do wi’ him now tha’ y’ know he loves y’.”

 “Aye. Ah’m naw interested.”

 “He’d be good for y’.”

 “Na, ah’d jus’ end oop gettin’ hurt when he realised tha’ it was jus’ some silly crush.”

 Ronald paused for a moment. “Y’ jus’ confessed tha’ y’ love him, y’ know tha'?”

 “Eh … hur?”

 “Y’d be hurt if he left y’. Meaning … y’ don’t want him ta’ ever leave y’, cause y’ love him.”

 “Where did yer ge’ tha’ shite from? God … yerr bloody stoopid.”

 “Am I? Y’ try and act like y’ don’t care tha’ y’ hurt him. Try and pretend tha’ y’ not upset tha’ y’ two aren’t talkin’ anymore.”

 “That’s … naw it.”

 “Then why are y’ upset?”

 “Ah’m … naw.”

 “Y’ are. I can tell.”

 Eric grunted at him and stood up from the bed. “Ah’m gooin’ home.”

 “Eh … why?”

 “Because ah dinnae wanna’ talk aboot this anymore. Yerr dooin’ ma head in.”

 “Yeah … because y’ know tha’ I’m right. Y’ do love him!”

 “An’ pigs fuckin’ fly.”

\------

 Eric stomped along the pavement, having decided to go home again for the evening. _It’s … not … about being … upset because I might love Alan. It’s … if I really did … do something to pressure Alan into this, I … I’m no different from HIM. I’m … just a fucking rapist._ Eric felt tears prick at his eyes. _I … I don’t want to end … up like him. I … don’t want to … hurt people. I … never have._

_\-----_

 Meanwhile, Alan received a phone call. Thinking that it was probably Sascha, he accepted and lifted it to his ear without looking at the caller ID. “Hey.”

 “Hey buddy.” Ronald said over the speaker.

 “Oh … Ronnie, is everything … okay?”

 “Depends. How y’ doin’?”

 “I’m … okay, why do … you ask?”

 “Eric told me ‘bout wha’ happened last night.”

 “Oh ….”

 “And fuck … I’m really sorry tha’ we made y’ do tha’ shit wi’ us. I had no clue tha’ y’ didn’t wanna’ join in.”

 “It’s okay. I … didn’t say anything anyway.”

 “Yeah but still, I should ‘ave noticed tha’ somethin’ was up.”

 “I … I hid it … well though.”

 “Yeah … y’ did. Still friends?”

 “Of … course. It … wasn’t your fault.”

 “G … good. I didn’t hurt y’, did I? I know … tha’ I can be a tad rough sometimes.”

 “N … no, you didn’t.” Alan sniffed. “It … it didn’t hurt when … you did it.”

 “Eh … okay.” Ronald paused for a minute. “Al … are y’ cryin’?”

 “N … no.”

 “Yeah, y’ are.”

 Alan squeaked softly. “C … Claude hurt me.”

 “He did? H … how?”

 “No, no … it doesn’t matter.”

 “Come on, tell me.”

 “He … was … really rough.”

 “Ah … shit, yeah.”

 “D … don’t … say anything to … him though. It … doesn’t … matter now. It’s … all over.”

 “Yeah but … damn, we’ve really screwed wi’ y’ head, haven’t we?”

 “N … no, it … wasn’t … you or … Claude.”

 “Y’ mean tha’ it was Eric?”

 “Y … yeah.”

 “He didn’t … realise either. He didn’t mean ta’ hurt y’ like tha’ or pressure y’ inta’ anythin’.”

 “I … I know but … he should … have been able to … tell.”

 “But how? Y’ jus’ said tha’ y’ managed ta’ hide it well.”

 “Because … he was with … me all night afterwards. He … should have been able to tell that … I was upset … and quiet. That’s … what Sascha said … anyway.”

 “And wha’ do y’ think?”

 “I … I’m starting … to agree with him.”

 “Damn. If Eric … knew tha’, he’d be … proper upset.”

 “No. He doesn’t care.” Alan let out a shaky breath.

 “He does and … y’ told him tha’ y’ love him, right? Well … he loves y’ too.”

 “No, he -.”

 “He jus’ won’t admit it.”

 “That’s … silly. There’s nothing … wrong with loving someone. Oh … are his family homophobic or … something?”

 “Na, don’t think so.”

 “Then … if he really does, why … won’t he just tell me? W … why did he get … so mad last night … when I told him that I loved him?”

 “Not one hundred percent sure but … ta’ be fair, I think he jus’ doesn’t wanna’ ge’ close ta’ someone.”

 “B … but why?”

 “Like I said ages ago, he’s … had a hard life.”

 “W … with his dad?”

 “Yeah …. I guess tha’ he finds it hard ta’ trust people.” Alan nodded against the phone, not realising that Ronald couldn’t see him. “Al, y’ still there?”

 “Oh … yeah, sorry. So … how do I get … him to tell me?”

 Ronald let out a sharp breath. “Eh … jus’ leave him alone for a bit. If y’ try ta’ drag it outta’ him, he’s jus’ gonna’ ge’ upset and start shoutin’ at y’. That’s wha’ he did ta’ me earlier.”

 “Oh … okay. So … give him time and … he’ll come around?”

 “Yeah … hopefully.”

 _But … it hurts to just wait and wonder._ “O … okay, thanks. I’ll … try.”

\-----

 Eric had dissolved into tears the moment that he’d entered his bedroom. _I … I am just like … the old bastard._ He let out a deep sob and moved to rummage quickly under his bed. A box was pulled out and a blade retrieved from it, Eric quickly sneaking into the upstairs bathroom. Pulling his sleeve up, his arm rested over the sink, blade sinking into it. _Ugh … I feel like absolute shite. Fucking hell!_


	27. God ... Alan, yer dumb arse. Cannae yer count tae two?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Jw - text speak for just wondering.

 The following morning, Eric’s mother came up into his bedroom, finding it strange that he wasn’t already downstairs with his siblings. As she opened the door, she saw that Eric was hidden under his bedsheets. “Oi Eric, ge’ yerr arse down them stairs. Ah goota’ goo tae work!”

 “Fuck oaf!” Eric turned away from her, still concealed under the covers.

 “Oi, dinnae talk tae ma li’e tha’.”

 “Ah … dinnae wanna’ ge’ oop so piss oaf.”

 “Yer goota’ ge’ yerr wee bros ready fir school.”

 “No.” Eric sniffed loudly.

 “What’s tha’ matter, lad?”

 “Nothin’. Jus’ leave ma be.”

 “Aye, an’ ah would if ah dinnae ‘ave tae leave fir work soon.”

 “Call a taxi fir them or somethin’. Ah’m naw gettin’ oop.”

 “Ah dinnae ‘ave tha’ money fir a taxi and yer ken tha’.”

 “Ugh … fine.” Eric sat up in bed and turned to his mother, wiping the tears from his eyes.

 “Lad … wha’ is tha’ matter? Why are yer cryin’?”

 “It’s naw important.”

 She walked to sit down on the bed. “Aye, ‘course it is. Come oon, talk tae yerr mum.”

 “No.”

 “Ah’m naw leavin’ until yer tell ma.”

 “Yer jus’ said tha’ yer had tae goo tae work.”

 “Yerr more important right now. Ah’ll ge’ scolded fir bein’ late but ah wanna’ ken tha’ problem here.”

 “It’s nothin’. School’s jus’ pissin’ ma oaf right now.”

 “Why?”

 “It jus’ is.”

 “’Cause yer fell oot wi’ tha’ boyfriend of yerrs?”

 “He wasn’t ma’ boyfriend.”

 “But it’s ‘cause yer fell oot wi’ him?”

 “A … aye.”

 “Dae yer ‘ave a thing fir ‘im?”

 “Wha’? No, ‘course -.”

 “Yer wouldn’t be so upset if he was jus’ a friend.”

 “S … shut oop.”

 “See, ah’m right. If yer feel so much fir ‘im, jus’ try tae put things right.”

 “No.”

 “Why naw?”

 “He … pissed ma oaf too much.”

 “Wha’ did he dae?”

 “It’s … naw important. He jus’ goat pissed at ma fir somethin’ stupid.” _He … said some hurtful things._

 “Oh. Then either forge’ aboot him or make oop. That’s yerr only two options right now.”

 “Aye ….”

 “Dae yer love ‘im?”

 “Wha’? No … ‘course naw.”

 “Now are yerr sure? ‘Cause it seems li’e he means a lot tae yer if yerr gettin’ so upset.”

 Eric paused. “N … no, ah don’ love ‘im.” _Damn … she’s fucking … right. S … shite._

 “Hmm … wha’ever yer say.”

 “What’s tha’ ‘spose tae mean?”

 “Ah think tha’ yer dae love tha’ lad. But aye, if he hurt yer so badly, maybe it’s best tae leave it be.”

 “Aye … ah ken.”

 “So come oon, ge’ yerrself some breakfast.”

 “Ah … never eat breakfast and yer ken tha’.”

 “There should be some spare as long as those wee piggies ‘aven’t raided tha’ fridge.”

 “Thanks.”

 “No bother, it’s jus’ food.”

 “No, ah mean thanks fir listenin’ tae ma.”

 “Anytime.”

_Yeah … I should just leave it be. If I just ignore him in classes, I’ll forget about him in no time. It’s not like I really love him or anything … do … I? Fuck!_

_\-----_

 Late that night, Grell moaned from her position riding on top of Eric. Eric let out a sigh and rolled her off of him. “Ah’m naw in tha’ mood tonight, sorry.”

 “Awww … why not, darling?”

 “Ah’m jus’ tired.” _I just can’t get him outta’ my head._

_\-----_

 A little over a month passed and it was now the end of October. The time had passed by at a snail’s pace for Alan, who was beginning to realise that Sascha was wrong. Life wasn’t going to get better for him without Eric by his side. He missed him immensely.

 Things weren’t helped by the fact that they didn’t speak much to each other during lessons, Eric only swearing at him if he did as much as look at the blonde.

 Things were also getting worse at school for him and Sascha due to the rise in bullying again. With no Eric around to protect them, Andy and some of his usual gang, plus a couple of new students were beginning to pick on them again. The violence was beginning to come back more and more each day.

 Eric wasn’t feeling much better, still feeling disgusted at himself and mad at Alan for what he had said during their argument. Deep down, he knew that he loved Alan, if only a little, though he’d never admit that to himself or anyone else.

\------

 That dinner time, Alan turned to Sascha, who was grinning widely. “Someone’s happy … today.”

 “Yep!” Sascha beamed.

 “Want … to tell me … why?”

 He giggled. “Me and Rudgar … did it last night!”

 “It?”

 “Oh … you know – the big thing.”

 Alan almost choked on his drink. “Did … you have to say it like that?”

 “Yep. It was nice but Rudgar could have been better. I am getting on top next time.”

 He coughed loudly. “Umm … have you ever done it … with anyone else before?”

 “Nope but how hard can it be? I just have to bounce up and down a little.”

 “L … lovely.”

 “Oh sorry, I know that you … do not like thinking about sex still.”

 “Yeah ….”

 “My mistake!”

 “It … it’s okay.”

\-----

 The following evening, a storm had rolled across London, bringing heavy rain and strong winds. Alan pulled out his phone and text Ronald. ‘Hey, is Eric at yours tonight?’

 He received a text back quickly. ‘Yeah, he’s working on my laptop. Why?’

 ‘Does he have an umbrella with him?’

 ‘Nope.’

 ‘Do you have one that you can lend him?’

 ‘Na, I don’t remember where I put the thing.’

 ‘Oh, okay.’

 ‘Why?’

 ‘Jw.’ Alan left his phone on the nightstand, ignoring any further texts. He then grabbed his umbrella from downstairs.

 After getting ready, he headed over to Ronald’s house, almost being blown away by the wind a few times. _Why … am I even doing this? Why should I even ca – I do care. Sascha … would kill me if he found out what I was … doing. I … I’ll just leave the umbrella for Eric and then leave. He can … give it back to me in class or something._

 The door was knocked and soon answered, Eric staring at the small brunette. _Is that why Ronald pissed off to the loo when the door went? Wee shite …._ “Wha’ dae yer want?”

 Alan gulped. _Oh crap, he’s … still really pissed._ “Well … it’s raining and … I didn’t … want you to catch a cold … if you … leave Ronnie’s tonight.”

 “K.”

 Alan looked down at the umbrella. “So … so take this.”

 Eric grunted at him. “An’ yerr spare umbrella?”

 _Shit!_ “I … I may have forgotten to … bring two.”

 “Dick.”

 “You … just take this one. I … I can have a hot shower as … soon as I get back.”

 “Yer’ve goat no meat on yerr bones. Yer’ll catch yerr death.”

 “I … I don’t mind.”

 “Dumb arse.”

 “You … can still have it. I’ll … hurry back.”

 Eric paused and then moved back as Alan tried to hand the item over. “No.” He sighed. “Ah’ll … take yer home first an’ then … ‘ave tha’ umbrella.”

 “W … what?”

 “No … never mind. Yer jus’ goo home. Ah dinnae mind gettin’ wet.”

 “No … you take it.”

 “God, yerr fuckin’ stubborn.”

 “I … know but -.”

 “Come on, ah’ll walk yer home already.”

 “But ….”

 “Even if yerr too stoopid tae bring two of them, ah’m naw lettin’ yer die of pneumonia.”

 “Y … you care?”

 “No but Sash will kill ma if yerr die, won’ he?”

 Alan nodded slowly. “O … okay … thank you.”


	28. A wee bit.

 Alan and Eric reached the front door of Alan’s house and the brunette unlocked the door. It was opened, Alan taking a step inside. Eric stood there, umbrella in hand. “Thanks fir tha’ umbrella.”

 “It’s … okay.” _I … don’t want him to leave …._

 “See yer tomorrow.” Eric went to turn around.

 “Eric, wait!”

 An eyebrow was raised. “Fir wha’?”

 Before he knew what he was doing, he’d reached out and grabbed Eric’s coat. “D … don’t go … please.”

 “Excuse ma?”

 “I – can … we be friends?”

 “Friends? Ah dinnae think so.”

 “But … why not?”

 “’Cause ah’m disgustin’, remember?”

 Alan’s hand slipped away, moving to rub the top of his other arm as he eyed the floor. “I’m … sorry.”

 “Wha’ever. Yer hate ma so … so we cannae be friends.”

 “I didn’t mean it!”

 “Well yer said it. Yer shouldn’t say things tha’ yer dinnae mean.”

 “I … I know.”

 “So jus’ dae yerself a favour an’ forget aboot ma, okay?”

 “I … I can’t.”

 Eric heard Alan sniff and gulped. _Damn … I don’t wanna’ hurt him more than … I already seem to have._ “It cannae be tha’ hard, can it? We won’t ‘ave tae see each other after school ends.”

 “But … I want to see you.” Alan gulped and looked him in the eye. “What … happened really hurt me … but I’m really … miserable without … you around me. I … miss … sleeping … next to you and … the cuddles. I … need those … cuddles.” A sob left him.

 “Ma cuddles aren’t tha’ gad.” _Agh … he’s making me feel bad!_

 “T … they are.”

 _He … looks so sad …._ “Ah … can give yer un’ now?”

 “Really?”

 “Aye … if it’ll stoop yer cryin’.”

 “P … please.”

 “Alright.” Eric stepped over the threshold into Alan’s home, arms wrapping around his back. “Better?”

 Alan nodded against his shoulder, hand reaching to grab Eric’s coat again. “I … I love … you.”

 _Stop … saying that. It’d … never work out between us._ Eric’s heart began to beat a little quicker. _What the fuck?_ “Ah … ah ken yer dae.”

 Alan blinked, before smiling slightly. “You … didn’t get … mad this time.”

 _I … I’m trying to … be mad and I can’t!_ Eric pulled back slightly.

 “E … Eric?” Alan’s chin was cupped in the blonde’s fingers and lifted slightly.

 “Aye … ah’m … naw mad.” Eric pressed his lips to Alan’s. _Damn him and … his tears. He’s too cute to resist._

 Alan squeaked slightly and then kissed back, opening his mouth to allow access. He shuddered internally as Eric’s tongue slipped against his. _I … I’d be fine with him having such a hold on me if only … he was mine. Just mine._

 Eric’s hands grabbed onto Alan’s bottom, pulling him closer, his stomach beginning to churn. It wasn’t the sick feeling he’d experienced with his dad. No, it was almost a nice fleeting sensation. Nerves maybe? Or something more?

 The brunette groaned, hips bucking forward slightly. _Crap … here we go again. I … I don’t think I could stop myself even if I wanted to. Hmm … he’s getting hard too._

 As the kissing became more heated, Alan was pushed against the wall of the hallway, his hips grinding against Eric’s. He pulled away from the kiss and grabbed Eric’s hand, moving it between them. “Hmm ….”

 “Al ….”

 “Y … yeah?”

 “Ah … wasn’t usin’ yer.” Eric gulped. “Ah … dae li’e yer a wee bit.”

 “Y … you do?”

 “Aye.” He gave Alan a soft squeeze and then realised his mistake. “Shite. Ah … ah’m naw jus’ sayin’ tha’ ‘cause ah goat ma hand on yerr crotch.”

 “I … know. You … wouldn’t admit that if you didn’t mean it, would you?” He giggled softly. “Eric, are you … blushing?”

 “Eh … no? Why would ah dae tha’?” Eric gave a goofy smile. “Erm … hand on or oaf tha’ crotch?”

 “On. I … did put it there.”

 “Aye … very true.”


	29. Be mine.

 Alan’s back bumped roughly against the wall behind him as Eric’s lips trailed down his neck, hand dipping into his underwear. “Hnn ….”

 Eric’s tongue darted out to lick against the soft skin, sense taking in Alan’s sweet taste. _Hmm … and I already can’t get enough of him. I … I do fuckin’ love him …. Shite._ He bit down softly, making Alan squirm with pleasure, and took him into his hand, pumping him slowly.

 “F … fuck.” Alan moved his hips in time with the motions on him, groaning deeply. “E … Eric … t … take me.”

 The blonde pulled back to look him in the eyes. “Yer sure?”

 “P … please. I … love you.”

 “Ah – okay.” He quickly unbuttoned Alan’s jeans, sliding them down and letting them pool around thin ankles. Alan’s underwear was given the same treatment before Eric moved back slightly, pulling his satchel over his head and dropping it to the ground.

 As he rummaged for the lube, Alan turned around, pushing his bum back slightly, palms pressing to the wall. Lube retrieved, the cap was popped off and liquid coated Eric’s fingers. The first digit was slid in quickly as Eric stood back up and kissed the side of Alan’s neck.

 “Ah … Eric.” The digit was thrust against the tight heat and bent to loosen up twitching muscles. “M … more.”

 “Aye … okay.” Eric pressed his middle finger inside to join his index, other hand reaching in front of Alan to stroke him again.

 “Hnn ….” The brunette pushed his bottom back more, desperate for contact with his spot. It was found within a few moments and Alan cried out, fingers curling to scrape against the wall. “Eric!”

 “Yer li’e tha’?” Eric breathed out before biting against Alan’s skin again.

 “Y … yes – oh … s … shit!” The motions on Alan’s member quickened. “Nghhh!”

 A third finger was soon added, Eric scissoring and bending them quickly. _The sounds he makes drive me crazy._

 “Eric … please … I need you … to ….”

 “Aye.” Eric prepared him for a small while longer before pulling his fingers from the heat and quickly unbuttoning his trousers. His throbbing erection was pulled free and he grabbed the lube again, coating himself thoroughly. “Yer ready?”

 “Y … yes.”

 “Cool.” Eric pulled Alan’s hips back more and lined himself up. The noises Alan made as he pushed in slowly made him shudder in delight. “Yerr … so fuckin’ cute.”

 “T … thanks … hmm … ohhh.” Eric began to thrust deeply into him, Alan moaning and pressing his forehead to the wall. “Ah … so … so nice.”

 Eric paused mid thrust. “Al?”

 “Y … yes?”

 “Can we goo upstairs? Ah dinnae li’e fuckin’ people oop tha’ wall.”

 “S … sofa. C … can’t wait.” Alan managed to breathe out, hips wriggling in an attempt to gain more pleasure.

 “Hur kinky.” Eric pulled out gently and stepped back to give Alan some room for manoeuvre. As Alan stepped out of the clothing around his ankles and turned around, Eric grabbed his wrist lightly and dragged him into the living room. “Yer can be oon toop.”

 “O … okay.”

 “If yer wanna’, tha’ is.”

 “I … I’d like that.”

\------

 Alan rocked back and forth quickly on top of Eric, the blonde’s hands squeezing his hips tightly. “Hnn … ahh … Eric … I’m really … close.”

 “Ma … too.”

 “Hmmm ….” Alan’s fingers tightened on Eric’s collar as he bent down for a kiss, one of Eric’s palms moving to cup the small of his back. Their lips crashed together and Alan’s cries were muffled, Eric bucking his hips up powerfully, pounding deep into him. He came quickly, orgasm ripping through him as he tightened his grip on Eric, hips moving in a sloppy manner. He fell onto Eric, panting softly as Eric thrust through his own orgasm, fingernails digging into Alan’s skin. “That … was … really nice.” Eric didn’t reply. “E … Eric?”

 The blonde let out a sigh. “We need tae stoop doin’ this.”

 “W … why?” Alan sat up to look at him.

 “’Cause yer’ll jus’ ge’ hurt again an’ ah don’ want tha’.”

 Alan lifted off of him and stood up from the sofa. “Why … would it hurt me this time? Y … you said that you … liked me a little bit too.”

 “Yer’ll jus’ think tha’ ah’m usin’ yer again.”

 Alan glanced away. “T … then get with … me properly.”

 “No.”

 “Why not?!”

 “It … it wouldn’t work oot an’ -.”

 “You … don’t know that unless … you try.”

 “Al -.”

 “I mean, you like … me more than everyone else you sleep with, don’t … you?”

 “… Aye.” Eric admitted.

 “Then can’t we just … try? It … might not work but … can we at least … give it a go?”

 Eric pondered for a moment. _I do … love him but –_ “un of us is jus’ gunnae end oop hurt.”

 “You … don’t know that. I … I wouldn’t hurt you. Not … intentionally anyway.”

 “Aye.”

 Alan bit his lips before saying. “You … don’t like hurting people either so you … wouldn’t do it on purpose.”

 “Aye … true.”

 “I’d … regret not trying … at least once. Would you?”

 Eric gulped. “Ah … ah guess ah would.”

 “So -.”

 “Ah’ll … dae it.”

 “Do it?”

 “Ah’ll be yerr boyfriend.”

 Alan let out a squeak, never having expected Eric to actually agree with him. “Really?”

 “Aye, really.”

 “Yay -.”

 “Yer’ve goota’ promise ma somethin’ though.”

 “O … okay?”

 “If we dae end oop splittin’ oop, ah don’ wanna’ hear yer sayin’ tha’ ah used yer. Ah’ve never used yer.”

 “O … okay, I promise.” Alan shifted nervously. “Cuddle now?”

 “Aye, sure.”

 “Yay!”

\-----

\-----

\-----

 If I’d have known that this night would be my downfall, would I have been so overjoyed? Would I have asked for such a thing to begin with? How … foolish ….


	30. Hogmanay.

 Late that night, Eric and Alan went up to Alan’s bedroom. “You can borrow … some of my pjs –.”

 Eric chuckled. “They wouldn’t fit. Ah’m okay in jeans.”

 “Are you sure?”

 “Aye, ah’ve done it before, remember?”

 “Oh … yeah.” They both got under the covers and Eric pulled Alan close.

 “Hmm ….”

 “What is it?” Alan asked.

 “Ah thought so earlier. Yerr’ve lost weight, haven’t yer?”

 “I’m not … sure to be honest. Sascha seems to think so though.”

 “Ah see. Ah’m gunnae ‘ave tae feed yer oop wi’ some haggis.”

 Alan paled. “N … no thank you. I’ve seen it on TV and it … looks disgusting.”

 Eric laughed and pecked Alan on the head. “Don’ knock it until yerr’ve tried it.”

 “Eeek ….” Alan paused for a moment. “Eric?”

 “Aye?”

 “Are … you going to … stop sleeping with Ronnie now that -.”

 “Couse ah am. Ah’m naw a cheat.”

 The brunette nodded slowly. “Will Ronnie and Claude … be okay with it?”

 “Aye, there’s no bother there.”

\------

 The following morning, once Eric had gone back home, Alan’s mother came into the kitchen to get something to eat. She’d popped her head into Alan’s room early that morning, as she always did.

 At seeing her son at the breakfast table, she smiled. “You’re friends with Eric again?”

 “Oh … yeah. H … he’s my boyfriend actually.”

 “Aww … that’s sweet. I’m glad you made up – whatever the issue was.”

 “Thanks. Yeah … it’s fine now.”

 “Great.” She sat down at the table. “Oh Alan, put some more milk in that cereal of yours. You need the calories.”

 He smiled slightly. “I’ve already … gotten through six rounds of toast.”

 “Oh ….” She giggled. “Greedy boy. I’m guessing you had a lot of exercise last night?”

 Alan almost choked on his cereal hoops.

\-------

 Dinner time was now in session and Eric found Ronald in the field about to play football with a few friends. He tapped him on the shoulder. “Can ah talk tae yer fir a sec?”

 Ronald turned around to face him. “Yeah, sure.” He turned to his friends. “Don’t start wi’out me!”

 They walked to the corner of the field, Ronald frowning slightly. “Somethin’ tha’ matter?”

 “No, ah jus’ needed tae say somethin’.”

 “Alright, so wha’ is it?”

 “Well … ma an’ Alan are together now.”

 “Really?! Sweet! So y’ did love him all along.” He grinned.

 “Ah’m naw … sure aboot love yet.” _If I haven’t told Alan, I’m not telling Ronnie yet. He’s got a big gob._ “But ah dinnae wanna’ sleep wi’ yer an’ Claude while I’m wi’ ‘im.”

 “Yeah, no probs. Ta’ be fair, I kinda’ wanna’ ge’ wi’ Claude. I think he wants ta’ too.”

 “Ahhh, grand.”

 “Y’ still hangin’ out wi’ me though. Alan needs ta’ beat me at video games again.”

 “Aye, ah’ll tell him.” Ronald was pulled into a rough hug. “Thank yer fir understandin’.”

 “Hah, y’re goin’ soft.”

 Eric chuckled. “Aye, ah probably am.”

\------

 Two days later, Alan knocked on Sascha’s door after school. It was opened and Alan gasped. “S … Sash, what happened … to your face?” His check was heavily bruised.

 “I got jumped by a gang of bullies. I am fine though.”

 “What, when?”

 “Before PE – the last lesson I had today.”

 “Ouch.” _They must have really punched him hard for the bruises to be showing so soon._ “I’ll … tell Eric and … he’ll stop them.”

 “Excuse me? Why the hell would we tell Eric? I hate his guts, remember?”

 “Well … umm ….” Alan blushed slightly.

 “You are fucking him again, aren’t you?”

 “No – well yes but -.”

 “Dick head.”

 “No, it’s not like that! We … we’re together.”

 “Stupid dick head.”

 “It’s … fine. He’s … treating me right now.”

 Sascha raised an eyebrow. “He is? He is still sleeping with Ronnie and the others though, right?”

 “No … he stopped. He told them that … he was with me.”

 “Oh, that is surprising.” He moved aside. “Come in.”

 “Okay.” Alan stepped into the house. “So … don’t say anything nasty to him … please?”

 “If he treats you right, I will not have to, no?”

 “T … thank you.”

 “But I still do not need protection from a dick head.”

 “O … okay.”

\------

 Months passed and it was now Christmas day. During that time, Eric had stuck to his word. He and Alan had been to Ronald’s house a lot to play video games, Claude not coming over until later in the evening. Ronald and Claude had gotten together a week or so after Eric and Alan.

 Eric had also kept in touch with Grell, though he’d just go over to her house to drink and chill with her. He’d found out about Sascha and Alan being bullied again and had tried to stop the bullies. However, there seemed to be a lot of bullies in the year below and Eric didn’t know who they were. Protection was proving difficult to implement.

 A few gifts had been opened in the Slingby household, though Eric’s mother didn’t have much money to buy a lot of expensive gifts. She’d receive money from her mother and father to put towards Christmas, though for the past three years, she’d been saving it up to treat Eric to something special for his 16th year.

 An envelope was handed to Eric, whose brow furrowed as it was opened. “Eh … tickets?”

 “Read it properly.” His mother smiled.

 His eyes skimmed the ticket properly. “Edinburgh … 29th December, returnin’ on tha’ 2nd of January.” His eyes went wide. “We’re gooin’ tae Hogmanay?!”

 “We are indeed. Gad, aye?”

 “Real … gad.” He lunged at his mother, hugging her tightly. “Thanks Mum.”

 “Aye, no bother.”

 “Umm … ah ken it’s probably too late now but … ‘ave yer goat enough money fir un more person? Ah … wanna’ bring a friend ….


	31. Hogmanay - part 2.

 Eric’s mother let out a tut. “Yer dumb shite.”

 “Eh?” Eric asked.

 “Yer dinnae read it properly, did yer? It says six tickets.”

 “Six?”

 “Aye, can yer naw count?”

 “Oh … but there’s only five of us?”

 “Exactly.”

 “Ohh … yer goat an extra ticket?”

 His mother rolled her eyes. “Aye, so yer can bring tha’ lad along wi’ us too.”

 “Really?!”

 “Aye, so stoop gettin’ yerrself in a flap an’ ask ‘im already.”

 “A … aye, I will tonight. Thanks Mum.”

 “No bother.” She smiled.

\-------

 A little before 7pm that night, Eric knocked on the door to Alan’s home. He was sleeping over tonight also. Alan soon answered the door, wide smile on his face. “Eric … I just got … a phone call from Dad.”

 “Oh cool, wha’ did he say?”

 “That he’s coming back home in a month. He’s getting re-stationed to another area … next week but then after that, he’ll be home.”

 “That’s grand, babe.” Eric pulled him into a hug and pecked his head lightly. “An’ ah ‘ave sometin’ else tha’ might make yer happy.”

 “W … what’s that?”

 “Wanna’ come celebrate New Year wi’ ma family in Edinburgh?”

 “R … really?”

 “Aye, Mum booked an extra train ticket oop there fir yer.”

 Alan’s mother came into the hallway. “Merry Christmas, Eric.”

 He looked over Alan at her. “Aye, Merry Christmas tae yer too.”

 “So … what ticket?” She cocked her head to the side.

 “Oh … Eric … wants me to go with him … to Edinburgh for New Year.” Alan stated.

 “Then go, it’ll be fun, Honey.”

 “But … I’ve never met Eric’s family before.”

 “They don’ bite.” Eric grinned. “Well … naw much anyway.”

 Alan giggled. “O … okay, I’ll go. Is it definitely … okay though?”

 “Aye, no bother at all. Wanna’ poop over tae ma house tomorrow an’ meet tha’ fam? Mom’s oaf work.”

 “Oh … okay … sure.”

\------

 “Ahh … Eric!” Alan moaned that night from his position pressed under Eric in bed.

 “Shush, yerr mum is gunnae hear us,” Eric breathed as he began to thrust deeply into his boyfriend.

 Alan dug his nails into Eric’s clothed back. “Hmm .. nhgg … kiss then.”

 “Aye.” His lips crashed against Alan’s, motions inside of the brunette picking up speed.

 Alan clenched slightly as his spot was hit, groans being muffled between their mouths. _Oh … shit … that’s so … good._

\------

 “What if they don’t like … me?” Alan asked as he walked with Eric to the blonde’s house the following morning.

 “They will, dinnae worry.”

 “But … I’m not very good around children. Y … you have four little brothers, right?”

 “Aye.”

 Alan nodded slightly. “You … never really mention them.”

 “’Cause when ah’m wi’ yer, all ma attention’s focused oon yer an’ yer alone.”

 “Oh ….” _Aww … that’s sweet._ “Are they … nice?”

 “Aye, when they’re naw bein’ annoyin’. Ma three youngest bros are triplets.”

 “R … really?”

 “Aye, there’s Brody, Neil and Toby. Then Ross is eleven.”

 “Wow … triplets.” He paused for a moment and then asked “so … how do you act around children? I … I was never really around people my age much. When I was little, I got sick a lot … and didn’t make any friends.”

 _Oh … that must have been awful for him. He must have been lonely._ “Jus’ be yerrself, they cannae not li’e yer then.”

 “Y … you really think so?”

 “Aye, yerr so cute, hur can anyone naw li’e yer?”

 Alan blushed lightly. “O … okay.”

\------

 The door was opened, Eric’s mother smiling at both teenagers. “Yer must be Alan. Come oon in, lad.”

 “T … thank you.” Alan gazed at her as she shifted to let them pass into the house, eyes fixed on a deep, straight scar lining down her left cheek _. Did … Eric’s dad do that to her?_ Alan was led into their living room, where he saw a small boy sitting on the sofa, book in hand.

 “Toby, say hello tae Eric’s boyfriend.” Eric’s mother smiled at him. “Come oon now, don’ be shy.”

 “H … hello.” Toby glanced at him before swiftly looking away again. He’d always been shy, hardly speaking to anyone.

 “Where are tha’ other wee shites?” Eric asked.

 “Oatside playin’. Well … windin’ Ross oop ah should say. Alan, dae yer want anythin’ tae eat? We've goat some Christmas dinner left oover.”

 “P … please.”

 “Oi, dinnae be so nervous. Ah’m harmless, promise.” She flashed Alan a smile, one which reminded the brunette of Eric’s own.

 “’E’s jus’ a shy un’.” Eric stated, wrapping an arm around Alan’s waist.

 “Aww, bless ‘is cotton socks.”

 Alan’s blush appeared again. _Eric, stop embarrassing me!_

\------

 On the morning of December 29th, Alan whined as he pulled his suitcase into Victoria train station. He’d found out that he’d be staying at a hotel with Eric’s family, not at relative’s like he was expecting. The reason? Eric’s father lived close to his grandparents on his mother’s side, meaning that it was far too risky to stay in that part of Edinburgh.

 They would however be staying at a hotel run by a friend of Eric’s mother’s sister (aunt). It was a good option, as Eric and Alan could get away with sharing a hotel room even though they were not yet eighteen. Eric’s mother would be signing in for them instead. Also, it meant that the hotel rooms’ costs were just a slither of the price that they originally would have been.

 “Tha’ too heavy fir yer?” Eric asked.

 “Y … yeah, my arms hurt.”

 “Yer should naw ‘ave packed so much then.”

 “B … but it’ll probably rain on me, I had … to bring extra!”

 “Aye, gad ol’ Scotland, pisses oon yer all tha’ time.” He grabbed the case and hurried a little more. “Come oon or we’re gunnae miss tha’ train.”

 “C … coming ….”

\------

***7.15pm***

 They had arrived in Edinburgh a little after 5.30pm, having had to change trains twice. Eric and Alan had just finished unpacking their clothes and were about to head out for food. The hotel was located in the Leigh area of Edinburgh, about half an hour’s walk from the main section of the city. “Ah think there’s a Tesco jus’ oop tha’ road.” Eric stated.

 “Oh … did you used to live around here?” Alan asked.

 “No but ah do ken this area kinda’ well.”

 “Oh … okay. Where did you used to live?”

 “Not far from Haymarket – it’s oon tha’ other side of tha’ castle tae here.”

 “Cool. Do you think we’ll … get to see the castle?”

 “Aye, mom’s takin’ us tae see it tomorrow. Yer cannae stay in Edinburgh and naw goo there.”

 “Yay!”

\-----

***7.27pm***

 Eric picked up a Pot Noodle from a shelf of the supermarket, basket in his other hand. As he turned around, he froze, pot dropping to the floor. “S … shite ….”

 Alan pulled himself away from looking at various soup tins and glanced at Eric, brow furrowing. “Eric … are you okay?”

 “Ah … ah ….” Eric stumbled backwards, his back hitting against the shelving. He slid down it, more Pot Noodles falling to the floor, and began to shake. “F … fuck.”

 “Eric?!” Alan knelt down at his side. “W … what’s wrong?”

 “D … dad, h … he’s here.”


	32. Scary.

 Shopping basket left forgotten on the supermarket floor, Eric rushed back to the hotel, Alan trailing behind him. “Eric, wait a-a minute!” The brunette stopped for a moment, bracing his palms against his knees and panting harshly. “Eric?!”

 Eric didn’t slow down and Alan glanced around him. _Oh … right, the hotel is just up this road. Gosh, I’m so unfit._ He got his legs to work again and by the time he’d made it to his hotel room, the door was already closed. A hand rose to knock on white painted wood. “Umm … Eric?”

 “Aye, it’s … unlocked.”

 Alan heard Eric sniff from within the room. “O … okay.” The door was pushed open, Alan seeing Eric curled up atop the bedsheets. “Eric?”

 The blonde curled up further, his voice becoming somewhat vulnerable in nature; soft, quiet, somewhat like a toddler seeking comfort from their mother. “S … scary.”

 “Oh … Eric.” Alan was instantly over to the bed, crawling on top of it. He lay down behind the blonde, slinging an arm around his waist and snuggling closer. “It’s okay, he’s gone now.”

 “But … wha’ if he – ah cannae deal wi’ seein’ him durin’ Hogmanay.”

 “You won’t see him.”

 “Yer cannae ken tha’!”

 “Think about it. Even if he is there, we won’t see him because … of the amount of people who will be there. And … does he normally … celebrate it?”

 “No … ‘e’s English. He never bothered tae goo intae town fir it but now … tha’ he knows we’re here, he will come an’ try tae find us.”

 “Are you … sure that he saw you?”

 “Aye … he looked straight at ma.”

 “But he didn’t approach you?”

 “Aye … he couldn’t dae anythin’ ‘cause of all tha’ people aroond.”

 “Then if he is there during Hogmanay, he … won’t be able to hurt you there either. Too many police and stuff around … right?”

 “Aye … true.”

 “T … try to put it to the back of your mind, okay?”

 “Ah … ah’ll try. Jus’ keep cuddlin’ ma.”

 “Of course I will.”

 “Thank yer.”

\-------

 The following morning, December 30th, Eric and Alan headed down for a continental breakfast in the restaurant/ café area of the hotel. “Mornin’, lads.” Eric’s mother smiled at them as they took their seats around a large square table.

 “Morning.” Alan returned to smile.

 “Ugh … ah need more sleep.” Eric grumbled.

 His mother rolled her eyes. “Aye, because yer decided tae keep tha’ whole hotel awake last night. Honestly, could yer make tha’ wee lad scream any louder?”

 “Tha’ a challenge, Mum?”

 “Umm … breakfast sounds good.” Alan, face heated in embarrassment, darted from the table. When he came back with some porridge, they were still on the same subject.

 Eric’s mother raised her eyebrow. “Seriously, did yer impale ‘im last night or some shite?”

 “Aye, real deep.”

 The younger brothers weren’t interested in the conversation, Neil and Brody chatting amongst themselves and the other two staring off into space.

 Eric’s mother eyed the various packets of sugar that were being opened and tipped into Alan’s porridge. “Eee God, wha’ tha’ hell?!”

 Alan jumped. “Is something the … matter?”

 “Yer cannae put sugar in yer porridge! It’s an abomination!”

 “Aye, Al’s weird as hell.”

 Alan gulped. _How embarrassing …._

\------

 That night, Eric pulled his kilt from the wardrobe in the hotel room. Alan smiled at him. “That will really … suit you, Eric.”

 “Aye … thanks.” Eric walked into the bathroom, coming back a few minutes later with his kilt in place. “Wha’ dae yer think?”

 “It’s lovely.” Alan slid onto the floor next to Eric’s legs and peeked up his kilt. “Oooh.”

 “Wha’ were yer expectin’, underwear?”

 “Well no … but -.”

 “Yer fuckin’ perv.” Eric chuckled. “Anyway, yer goota’ ge’ ready or we’ll be late.”

 “I know. Umm … Eric?”

 “Aye?”

 “What is this … torchlight procession thingy? You keep mentioning it but I don’t really know what it is?”

 “Oh … we all start on un side of Edinburgh an’ ge’ … er … hur dae ah explain this? They’re kinda’ li’e giant wooden sticks wi’ candle wick oon tha’ end. Then we ge’ them lit an’ march tae tha’ other end of tha’ main street, all tha’ way tae Calton Hill. Oop there, we ‘ave a bonfire and fireworks. It’s a grand celebration.”

 Alan eyes lit up. “That … sounds amazing, Eric.”

 “Aye, so ge’ yer arse in gear. If we’re late, we’ll never make it ontae tha’ hill fir tha’ fireworks.”

 “Hurrying!”

\------

 Five minutes later, Alan appeared from the bathroom. “Eric, do I look … okay?”

 “Hmm … those jeans are tight as fuck. Ah love them.” He turned his back to Alan. “Al ….”

 “Yeah?”

 “Ah … ah’m scared.”

 “Because of your dad?”

 “Aye … precisely.”

 Alan closed to gap between them and wrapped his arms around Eric, cheek pressing to his back. “It’ll be fine, Eric. Don’t let him … ruin this for you. You deserve to … be happy tonight.”

 “Yer gunnae protect ma?”

 Alan giggled softly. “If I have to … yes.”

 Eric turned around in Alan’s arms and hugged him tightly. “Yer really are so sweet, babe.” _I … I really do love him._


	33. Hill.

 There was a buzzing of excitement in the air as Alan, Eric and Eric’s family reached their first destination. Alan glanced around him, hearing people of various nationalities speaking in their mother tongue. “Eric, do people really travel so far to … come here?”

 “Aye; us Scots class Hogmanay as tha’ best New Year celebration in tha’ world! Hur could people naw come tae see it?”

 “That’s rather big headed, Eric.”

 The blonde chuckled. “Aye, probably but dinnae let Mum hear yer say tha’ or she’ll set yer alight.”

 Alan laughed nervously. “O … okay.”

 The lit torchlights were handed to Eric, Eric’s mother and Alan as they reached the front of the cue. “Oh wow, these are heavy.” Alan stated.

 “Aye, ah ‘spose they are. Now, if it burns doon before we reach tha’ hill, there’s a load of metal bins filled wi’ water aroond here. Jus’ plonk yerr torchlight in there before yerr fingers ge’ burned.”

 “That … could happen?”

 “Eh … probs naw but yer don’ wanna’ risk charred digits, dae yer?”

 “Nope.” Alan’s grip tightened on the thick wooden pole of the light, his nostrils taking in the smell of smoke that was beginning to mix with cold winter air. His nose was already beginning to run from the icy atmosphere, his own breath easily seen.

 “This is proper sweet.” Eric grinned as they took their places. “We’re pretty much right at tha’ front of tha’ procession.”

 “C … cool.” Alan lifted onto his tip toes and squinted ahead of him. At the very front of the parade stood men in, as far as Alan could tell, medieval style costume. Their polished helmets, finished with what appeared to be angel wings, glistened brightly in the glow of their torches. Said torchlights were huge in comparison to Alan’s, reaching almost from the ground all the way up to a height of at least eight feet. “W … wow, this … is so cool.”

 “Aye, ah ken.”

 A voice rung out from the speakers lining the street. “Gad evenin’, ladies and gentlemen. Edinburgh welcomes all our guests for Hogmanay. Now, although every precaution has been taken tae ensure safety, we remind yer tae take care. We want yer all tae enjoy this event, wi’oot any singed hair.” A large horn sounded, followed by a roar from the men at the front of the parade.

 “Mum, wha’ was tha’ loud noise?” Brody asked.

 Mrs Slingby smiled. “It’s startin’, wee lad.”

 “Yay!”

 There was a stomping of feet as the procession began. Every now and then, some members would stop to take pictures with their torches. “Ugh,” Eric grumbled, “they’re gunnae poke someun’s eye oot wi’ those selfie sticks.”

 “Umm … not everyone is that tall that that would … be a risk, Eric.”

 “Aye … yer’ve goat a point there.”

 It was a good half an hour of walking before they reached the foot of Calton Hill, which was dimly lit, the tarmac under their feet turning slippery from mud washed away from under the trees at its side. Alan thanked the torch for its light. Otherwise, he’d have probably fallen flat on his face by now. The ascent up the hill was a steep one and Alan paused for breath.

 Eric stopped mid-stride and turned to face him. “Al, yer alright?”

 Alan let out a pant and said “I’m … exhausted.”

 “Yer wha’?”

 “My arms ache … and my legs hurt.”

 The blonde rolled his eyes. “Wha’re yer, a man or a mouse?”

 “M … mouse.”

 “Gad grief.”

 “It’s not my … fault. I … don’t have much muscle and … this torch is … so heavy. I … I need to take a break.”

 “Jesus Christ.” Eric sighed. “Ah’ll give yer a piggy back.”

 “R … really?”

 “Aye, pass yerr torch tae Mum fir a minute.”

 “O … okay.” Alan smiled. _Eric, that’s so sweet._

 The torch was handed to Eric’s mother, who shot a look at her children to say ‘don’t yer dare run off’. Eric stooped down, end of his torch pressing to the ground. “Hoop oon then.”

 “Okay.” Alan pressed his weight onto Eric’s back and Eric lifted him up, Alan’s legs wrapping around his waist, one arm around his neck. The torch was given back to him.

 “Hold oon tight and don’ burn ma hair.”

 They reached the top of the hill quickly and Eric carried Alan over the wet grass to the back of a large crowd. “Can yer see it?” He asked.

 Alan peered out over windswept hair and winter hats to a large clearing. Ripples of flame fell into his line of vision. “Oooh … the bonfire?”

 “Aye, it’s big, right?”

 “It … looks so beautiful.”

\------

 Alan was now back on solid ground and Eric dragged him off to another entrance of the hill. “Yer can see all of Edinburgh from here.”

 “So … so pretty. Oh, is that Balmoral hotel?”

 “Aye, kinda’ looks li’e Big Ben, right?”

 “M … maybe a little.” Alan pulled out his phone with his free hand and snapped a photo. “Edinburgh really … looks nice at night.”

 “Aye, wi’ all tha’ grand lights.”

 Before Alan could reply, a voice came through on another set of speakers. “Ladies and gentlemen, we’ll be setting off the fireworks shortly -.”

 Alan’s eyes lit up. “Fireworks?”

 “Aye, ah told yer tha’ there’d be some, remember?” Eric asked.

 “Oh … yeah, now I remember. Whoops.”

\-------

**_If you gave me a chance I would take it. It's a shot in the dark but I'll make it. Know with all of your heart, you can't shame me. When I am with you, there's no place I'd rather be. N-n-n-no, no, no, no place I'd rather be. N-n-n-no, no, no, no place I'd rather be. N-n-n-no, no, no, no place I'd rather be. Ooh ooh …._ **

 Music blared out from the speakers as the first round of fireworks went up into the night sky, lighting it up in red and green hues. As the explosions fell away to crackling, new fireworks appeared on the opposite side of the hill. Neil giggled and reached his hands up as Alan cuddled into Eric’s side.

 “Yer cold?” Eric asked.

 “A … a little.” In fact, Alan was freezing, his legs shaking somewhat.

 “Well we’ll be gooing back tae tha’ hotel once tha’ fireworks ‘ave finished.”

 “Cool.” Alan smiled as Eric’s free arm wrapped around his waist. _But they’re so beautiful … I could stand here against your warmth forever …._


	34. He's got a screw loose.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Slight trigger warning for rape down the bottom of chap but it can be skimmed over pretty easily.

 The next dinner time, Alan and the Slingby family were out at a restaurant. Mrs Slingby turned to one of her sons. “Brody, eat yerr haggis.”

 The small boy crossed his arms over his chest and pouted before saying “no, ah don’ wanna’.”

 “Why not?”

 “It smells of rotten socks.”

 Eric chuckled. “Aye, tha’ it does but yer goota’ eat it.”

 “Why should ah?”

 “Because it’ll make yer grow oop all big an’ strong.”

 Brody rolled his eyes. “So was it tha’ haggis wha’ made yer so ugly?”

 “Oi, yer wee shite!”

 Alan giggled softly. _Aww, poor Eric._

_\------_

 That night, Alan pressed up against his boyfriend’s side. They were currently on the bridge between the old town of Edinburgh and the new, awaiting the fireworks which would signal the turn of New Year. “Brr … it’s so cold.”

 “Aye because yer dinnae wrap oop warm.”

 “You’re one to talk; you’re just wearing a kilt.”

 “Ah ken but at least ah goat meat on ma bones.”

 “Eric, that’s not my fault.”

 “Aye but still, yer haven’t even goat gloves on.”

 “I couldn’t find them!”

 Eric chuckled. “Aye, blind as a bat, right?”

 Alan didn’t get chance to reply, a voice coming over the speakers that had been positioned along the streets of the city. The countdown from five began, all of the crowd joining in. An arm was slung around Alan’s middle as the first firework lit up the night sky, traditional song filling his ears.

**_Should auld acquaintance be forgot, and never brought to mind? Should auld acquaintance be forgot, and auld lang syne?_ **

**_For auld lang syne, my jo, for auld lang syne, we’ll tak' a cup o’ kindness yet, for auld lang syne._ **

**_And surely ye’ll be your pint-stoup! and surely I’ll be mine! And we’ll tak' a cup o’ kindness yet, for auld lang syne._ **

**_We twa hae run about the braes, and pou’d the gowans fine; But we’ve wander’d mony a weary fit, sin' auld lang syne._ **

**_We twa hae paidl’d in the burn, frae morning sun till dine; But seas between us braid hae roar’d sin' auld lang syne._ **

**_And there’s a hand, my trusty fiere! and gie's a hand o’ thine! And we’ll tak' a right gude-willie waught, for auld lang syne._ **

 “Wha’ dae yer think, babe?” Eric asked. “Does Edinburgh hold tha’ finest celebration in all tha’ land?”

 Alan gazed up at the fireworks, sky now a wash of purple and pinks, the odd flash of white flickering across his line of vision. “Yeah, it’s amazing.” He snuggled closer to the blonde. “Thank you for bringing me here.”

 “Aye, no bother, babe.”

\-----

 Eric and Alan had stayed behind for a little while, Eric speaking to a couple of local women while his family headed back to the hotel. The couple were now walking there too, passing a few pubs on the way. A very drunk, middle aged man spotted them holding hands and wobbled up to them, fists clenched. “Oi, yer big gays!”

 Alan turned to look at him. “E … excuse me?”

 “Fuckin’ fag, no one wants tae see yer!” He snarled and aimed a punch at the brunette.

 Eric caught his wrist with one hand, the other flying out and hitting the drunken man square in the jaw. “Leave ‘im alone, yer wee shite!” Another punch hit him in the stomach, Eric releasing his wrist.

 With a grunt, the older man hit the floor. “F-fuckin’ … poof.”

 The blonde glared at him, his hands flexing in anger. “Yer leave us alone, yer understand?” He bent forward, eyes boring into his. “Unless yer want another punch or a kick in tha’ balls.” The drunken man gulped and shook his head. Eric straightened back up. “Aye, gad lad.”

\------

 Alan flopped backwards onto the bed once they entered the hotel room. He was feeling quite exhausted from such a busy day. “Umm … Eric?”

 The blonde walked over to the bed and glanced down at him. “Aye?”

 “Thanks … for sticking up for me earlier, I really … appreciate it.”

 Eric nodded slowly. “It’s fine but ah wasn’t jus’ stickin’ oop fir yer, ah was stickin’ oop fir tha’ both of us; fir our relationship.”

 “That’s … really sweet, Eric.”

 Another nod came from him as he sat on the edge of the bed, cupping both hands together on his lap. “An’ ah’ll always protect yer.”

 “R-really?”

 “Aye.” He paused for a moment. “Sascha too. Ah ken tha’ he doesn’t li’e ma all tha’ much but ‘e’s still yerr friend and ah’ll make sure ta’ keep ‘im safe.”

 Alan smiled, his eyes staring up at the ceiling. “Thank you, Eric, thank you so much.” _He really has changed, for the better. I’m … so glad._

\-----

 “Ah … shit, Eric!” Alan’s head pressed back against the pillow, his legs wrapped tightly around Eric’s waist. Though he was tired, he didn’t want to miss out on this kind of New Year’s celebration. “Ah … nghhh ….”

 “Feel … gad, babe?” Eric asked.

 “Y … yes, so good.” A rough thrust found his spot and he groaned loudly, eyes squeezing shut. “Ah!”

 Eric let out a low grunt and then breathed out “Al, look at ma.”

 Alan’s lids parted and he lifted his head, eyeing Eric with confusion. “Hmm … what … is it?”

 “Ah … ah love yer.”

 A small gasp left Alan. “R … really?”

 “Aye, ah wouldn’t say it otherwise, would ah?”

 “N … no.” The brunette giggled softly. “Ah … is the sex … really that good?”

 Eric rolled his eyes. “Yer had tae goo an’ ruin a sweet moment, didn’t yer?”

 “Hah, maybe.”

 A chuckle left the blonde. “Aye, though it’s naw sex anymore, is it? It’s love makin’ now, right?”

 “Umm … well yeah.”

 “Does tha’ mean ah goota’ be a wee bit gentler?”

 “If you want … to be, yes.”

 “Alright.” Eric pulled out slowly, causing Alan to whine at the loss of contact.

 “Eric, what -?”

 “Sit oon ma lap.” Eric sat back on his heels and gestured for Alan to come closer.

 “Oh … okay.” Soon, Alan sank down onto his partner, a deep moan coming from him. “Ah ….”

 Eric wrapped his arms around the smaller man’s back as he began to thrust up into him slowly. “Nghh … yer always ‘ave … tae clench li’e tha’, don’ yer?”

 “Hmm yes … because it … feels so good.” Alan pressed his face into Eric’s neck. _I can’t … believe how gentle he’s being._ “I … I love you, Eric.”

 “Ah really love yer too, Al.”

\------

 A while had passed and it was now close to graduation, prom currently taking place. During the last couple of months, Sascha had been getting into various arguments with Andy, about things ranging from gender to the bully being a general cock head.

 Currently, Andy was standing next to one of his friends, glaring daggers at Sascha, who was dressed in a grey suit and snuggling up to Rudgar. “Ugh … that bitch makes me sick.”

 His friend, Paul, looked at him. “Who?”

 “Sascha.”

 “Oh … why?” He glanced at the small German teen. “He’s never done anything wrong, has he?”

 “He?” Andy pulled a face. “It’s a girl, you thick shit.”

 “Oh, is he – she? My bad.” He frowned slightly. “You started this whole fight with her anyway, didn’t you?”

 “Pfft, she’s been an annoying brat right from the start. Constantly sticks up for Humphries, it’s so fucking irritating.”

 “Oh … okay.” _But still, I don’t think they’ve done anything wrong._

 Andy groaned at seeing Sascha kiss Rudgar. He slammed his drink down on the table and stormed up to him. “Oi slut, no one wants to see you snogging your boyfriend!”

 Sascha pulled away from the kiss and glared at Andy. “Can you just piss off? No one cares what you think.”

 “I’m pretty sure no one wants to see you playing the part of a filthy wench. Leave the snogging for private times.”

 “W-wench?” Sascha’s fist clenched. “I dare you to say that word again.”

 A grin formed on Andy’s face. “Dirty, slutty wen -.” He received a sharp punch to the stomach, causing the wind to be knocked out of him.

 “I told you.”

 “Nggh ….” Another punch hit him, this time square in the balls. He bent forward and cursed. “F … fuck. Y-you really like touching my … balls, don’t you … slut?”

 “I am going to kill you!”

\------

 Andy had been beaten black and blue by the small teen before the teachers had stopped any further attack. The following day, he rubbed his bruised cheek as he sat in his living room surrounded by his friends/ the other school bullies. “I’m going to get revenge on that bitch, I swear to God.”

 “How?” Ivan asked. “For a tiny girl, she sure is strong.”

 “Or just a fucking psychopath.” Thomas said. “She’s absolutely bonkers.”

 “I think she just fancies me really.” Andy grinned. “She sure does love to grope me.”

 “So you fancy her too?” Paul asked. “Saying that you used to tease her so much before Slingby went against us.”

 “Pfft, no way in hell.” He leaned back in his chair. “But she shouldn’t touch me down there, dirty slut.” He laughed lightly. “She’s going to get what’s coming to her for teasing a guy so much.”

 Paul gulped. _I don’t like the sound of this._ “W-what are you going to do to her?”

 Another, louder laugh. “Hah, I’m going to make her feel so embarrassed that she’ll never get over it; show her up for just what a slut she is.” He turned to Ivan. “You have a digital camera, right?”

 “Yes, I do.”

 “That films videos too?”

 “Yes.”

 “Brilliant.”

\------

 Graduation had just ended and Andy watched from a distance as Sascha pecked Rudgar on the cheek. Paul looked at him and shuddered. “You … you can’t really be serious about this, can you?”

 “Of course I’m serious.”

 “You’re going to get in so much trouble!”

 Andy shook his head. “No, it’ll be fine. I heard Rudgar telling the slut that he wasn’t walking her home. He’s got to get to the airport with his family to head back to Germany for a little while. There’s no sign of Slingby or Humphries either.”

 “That’s not what I meant! Y … you can’t do this! It’s wrong!”

 Ivan placed a hand on Paul’s shoulder. “No, it’s just a little bit of humiliation, nothing more.”

 “No it’s not! It … it’s worse than that!” He received a punch in the side by Andy’s close friend, Jeffery. “Ouch -.”

 Jeffery scowled at him. “You try to stop him and I’ll shank you personally. Do you know the trouble Sascha has caused him? Well, do you?!”

 “I -.” He felt Jeffery press the end of a knife to him.

 “I suggest you help us.”

 Thomas, who wasn’t too keen on Andy’s plan either, gulped. _We … we don’t have a choice in this, do we? Jeffery’s a … a complete loon._

 “O-okay,” Paul stammered, sweat coating his dark skin. _This has gone too far this time …._

\-----

 “Okay, bye Rudgar!” Sascha hugged him one last time. “Have a good time in Germany! Oh and bring me some good food back too!”

 Rudgar stroked the back of his partner’s head with his palm. “I will, I promise. Try not to miss me too much, okay?”

 Sascha giggled softly. “I will be fine; I have Al to keep me company.” He pulled back from the hug. “I love you, Rudgar.”

 “Yes, I love you very much too.”

\-----

 A shiver ran down Sascha’s spine as he made his way home. “Ohhh … that was very weird.” He was completely unaware of the group of lads following far behind him.

 Andy licked his lips. _She’s about to go past an alleyway, this is just too perfect._ “Now boys.”

 Sascha heard quickening footsteps behind him and he turned his head just as he was grabbed from either side by two boys. “Let go of me!”

 Jeffery smirked as his grip on Sascha’s thin arm tightened. “Ivan, come on, this way.”

 The Russian exchange student dug his nails into Sascha’s other arm. “Sascha, are you ready for some shame?”

 The small teen tugged uselessly against them, trying to free himself. “Get the hell away from me!”

 “I don’t think so somehow.”

 Sascha was pulled into the alleyway and held there, his back close to the wall. As Andy appeared in front of him, he spat in his face. “You fucking dick!”

 “My, my, you’re obsessed with dicks, aren’t you?” Andy turned to Thomas. “Start recording.”

 The teen with the camera gulped. “Umm … alright.”

 “Let me go! Let -.” Sascha felt the tip of a knife press to his stomach through his clothes. “W-wha -?”

 “You’re not so tough now, are you?” The knife was pushed forward a little further, the tip digging into him. “I can see how scared you are.”

 “I will never be scared of you!” He received a sharp slap across the face by Andy’s other hand. “Nghhh ….”

 “Hmm ….” Andy chuckled. “I think you’re about to get just what you deserve. It’s mean to grope people’s balls, Sascha.” His spare hand moved to the fly of Sascha’s trousers.

 “Like I would grope you!” He wriggled, trying to get away from Andy’s touch. “People like you do not deserve to have balls!”

 “How kinky.” The zipper was pulled down, button popped open. “I think that it was a grope. You touch so many men’s crotches, after all.”

 Sascha felt his hand slide into his underwear and his eyes widened slightly. “Get off of me, you sick pervert!”

 “I’m the pervert? I’m just returning the favour. Ah, so you are a girl after all.”

 “S-shut … shut up!” Tears began to burn in Sascha’s eyes. “Y … you do not know what you … are talking about.”

 “Don’t I? You seem to be getting pretty wet down there.”

 “Shut up!” A finger pushed inside of him and he tensed. “Nghhh ….”

 “Definitely a slut. You’re not as tight as I thought you’d be. Has Rudgar been fucking you nice and hard, girly?”

 “Shut the hell up!” The finger began to bend and probe within him. “Ah … hnnn ….”

 “Are you getting this on film, Thomas?”

 The teen gulped again. “Y … yeah, I am.”

\------

 Sascha’s trousers and underwear were pulled down, his body trembling and sweaty. “You … you will never get away with this, you bastard!”

 “Won’t I?” Andy pulled the material from around Sascha’s shoe, shoulder receiving a kick from his other foot. He grunted and stood back up, knife pressing to Sascha’s stomach again. “Who are you going to tell, huh? Are you going to tell Rudgar that you let me fuck you?”

 “I would never -.”

 “You don’t seem to be fighting very much. Compared to usual, at least.” His empty hand moved to into his trousers and underwear. “Are you ready to be completely shown up, Sascha?”

_You … you sick bastard!_

 “Andy, that’s enough!” Paul shouted. “You can’t do this to her!”

 “Watch me.” Andy pulled himself free, hand moving to pull one of Sascha’s legs open as the smaller teen struggled.

 “You … you are disgusting!” Sascha continued to writhe. “I -.” A shriek left him as he felt himself being penetrated. _I … I won’t let him do this!_

 “Andy, fucking stop it!” Paul took a step forward.

 “Why?” He moved closer to Sascha, sneering against his ear. “The dirty slut likes it.”

 _Take this, you bastard! I am not as weak as you think!_ Sascha turned his head, mouth opening.

 A scream pierced the air as Andy’s ear lobe was bitten off by sharp teeth, Sascha quickly spitting out the revolting lump of flesh. Sascha felt Andy pull out, the injured teen shouting loudly. “You fucking bitch, I’m going to fucking kill you!” The knife was driven into his stomach hard, Andy twisting it through soft flesh as if it were butter.

 The German boy gasped and writhed again, more stab wounds quickly following the first. The other boys stood frozen in place as Andy continued his onslaught. “You’ve messed with the wrong person, you fucking bitch!” Those were the last words Sascha heard before he lost consciousness, his body being overcome by blood loss and shock.

 Is this really the end?


	35. The end is but a start.

 Sascha’s limp body was dropped to the floor, blood beginning to pool around him. Ivan looked at Andy. “W … why did you do that?!”

 He shrugged, maybe being too shocked by his own actions to act with anything but nonchalance. “Felt like it.”

 “W … we must get out of here now.”

 “You … you fucking idiot!” Jeffery darted passed Andy, grabbing hold of his wrist and dragging him behind him. “You need to hide that knife or you’re gonna’ end up in jail. What the fuck were you thinking, you giant cock?!”

 Ivan dashed out of the alleyway behind them, leaving just Paul and Thomas left there with Sascha. The digital camera fell to the floor, Thomas turning to the entrance of the hallway. “Paul, come on.” The other male didn’t answer, so he glanced at him. “Paul, come on, we’ve gotta’ go!”

 “N … no.” Paul moved towards Sascha and bent down slowly in front of him. “W … we can’t just … let her – him die.”

 “Babe -.”

 “Don’t call me that!” Paul scrambled to pull his coat from himself. “I’m not letting him die!”

 “Paul, she’s going to die anyway! We need to get out of here before the police -.”

 “You go if you want to!” The coat was pressed to the bleeding wounds on Sascha. “I should have phoned the police the second I … I heard of Andy’s plan.”

 “You didn’t know that he was going to stab -.”

 “So?! That doesn’t make it any better!” His hand felt for a pulse on the severely injured teen’s neck. “H … he’s still alive.”

 “O … okay.” Thomas gulped. _I can’t just leave him here on his own to do this._ “I … I’ll call an ambulance.”

 “Y … yeah, give me your coat.”

 “W … why?”

 “We can’t just let him be all exposed like this! Give me your coat and then phone 999!”

 “O … okay.”

\------

 Rudgar was about to go through to departures in the airport when his phone rang. It was lifted to his ear. “Hello?”

 “Oh Rudgar, thank goodness I got to you in time!”

 It was Sascha’s mother and Rudgar could tell that something was wrong from her tone of voice. “What is the matter?”

 A sob came from her before she managed to shriek “oh Rudgar, it is awful!”

 The boy’s heart sunk. “Is … is it about Sascha?”

 “He was attacked, Rudgar!”

 “A-attacked?!”

 “H … he’s been stabbed so many times.”

 “W … what?! B … by who?”

 “Some devils at school!”

 Rudgar’s hand shook, the phone almost dropping from it. “Is … is he going to be okay?” The mother let out another sob. “Tell me!”

 “T … they … don’t think … he’s going to make it. H … he’s lost too much blood already.”

 “Of course he’s –.”

 “T … they have taken him … in for surgery -.”

 The phone dropped from Rudgar’s hand and his mother gave him a funny look. “Rudgar?”

 “We … we can’t go to Germany.”

 “What? Why not?”

 “We just can’t!”

 “Rudgar, do not be silly, we have already brought the tickets.” Rudgar shook his head and darted back into the check in area of the airport. “Rudgar, Rudgar, get back here now!”

\------

 “Oh … oh no ….” Alan ended the call from Rudgar sometime later, his body trembling.

 Eric looked at him, a bottle of beer in his hand. His mother had brought it for him as a way for him to celebrate graduation. “What’s tha’ matter, babe? Yer look li’e yer’ve seen a ghost.”

 Alan nodded slowly. “S … Sascha’s … on death’s door.”

 “Yer wha’?!”

 “He’s been stabbed … about fifteen … times.” Alan’s eyed filled with tears. “It … it was … Andy apparently ….”

 “R … really?”

 “Yes.”

 “S … stabbed where?!” Eric’s empty hand clenched. “Jus’ … in his leg or somethin’, right?”

 The tears slipped down Alan’s face. “S … Stomach.” He shuddered internally. “He … he was pregnant too.”

 “W … wha’?! Eric blinked at his boyfriend in disbelief.

 “Sascha had … only just found out.” He let out a shaky breath. “He was on the pill but … he was around a month or so … gone.”

 “Did … Rudgar ken?”

 “N … no. Sascha … hadn’t told him yet because he … didn’t know if he … wanted to keep the baby or not.”

 “S … shite ….”

 “A … and now … Rudgar is going to … lose them both.”

 “No, yer don’ ken tha’!”

 “E … Eric … the doctor’s … don’t think he’s … going to make it.”

 “No … no ….”

\-----

 Sascha was still in surgery, the police questioning Paul and Thomas thoroughly. Eric had gone outside for a cigarette, Alan having followed him. The cigarette was stubbed out on the ground, Eric’s one hand slamming against the wall. “T … This is ma fuckin’ fault!”

 “N … no Eric, it’s not.”

 “Yes it is! We knew tha’ Rudgar wasn’t gooin’ tae walk Sascha home an' ah still -.”

 “You couldn’t have known!”

 “I failed tae protect ‘im! Tha’ means tha’ ah’ll fail yer too at some point!”

 “No -.”

 “Ah’m no good fir yer! Ah … ah never ‘ave been!”

 “Eric -.”

 “Ah … ah’m sorry, Al.”

 Alan blinked at him in disbelief. “Y … you’re leaving me?”

 Eric glanced away. “Ah … won’t be able tae pro -.”

 “I … I don’t need protecting!”

 “Ah’m sorry, Al.”

 Alan’s shoulders shook in anger and hurt. “So, what? You’re going to leave me when things get hard?”

 “It’s naw ‘bout tha’.”

 “So you’re doing it for my own good?!”

 “Aye -.”

 “No you’re not! You’re just giving up on me!”

 Eric shook his head, fingers scraping against the wall. “No -.”

 “Y … you just used me.” Alan’s blood was boiling by this point, past hurting surfacing again.

 “Of course -.”

 “You just wanted to fuck me, didn’t you?!”

 “Al, wha’ -?”

 “Y … you don’t love me. You jus’ used me for sex and … now you’re just throwing me away!” Before Eric could reply, Alan flew off into a rage. “Y … you forced me to do things that I didn’t want to! It was all just a game to you! I … I hate you, you fucking perv!”

 “Al -.”

 “I said I hate you, y … you user!”

\-----

 If I’d have known the pain those words would have caused, would I have said them? Would I have opened my mouth at all?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> \---End.  
> Sequel will be out shortly.


End file.
